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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to go and stick up for my little sister?

154 replies

thebrightside · 25/09/2010 20:45

My younger sister, (just turned 18) babysits for a family with 3 kids aged 3, 6 and 9. She's been doing this for 2 years. Middle boy has epilepsy, can have fits during the night, but it is rare.

AShe charges £5 an hour, pretty reasonable! It's all unofficial, no contract/agencies involved.

They're a bit tight about money,although being pretty well off, but are generally quite a nice family who relied on and trusted my sister a lot.

Anyway, she sat for them last night. Expected them to be back at about midnight but was left till 4.30am. Rung them 3 times, each time they said they were on their way.

She fell asleep on the sofa at about 3.30 she reckons. She's never done this before and was cross at herself for it, but bloody hell anyone would struggle to stay awake at that time. They arrived home and found her asleep.

The Dad had had a few and shouted at her calling her 'negligent, useless etc,' and refused to pay her for the whole night, (nearly 10 hours - so should have been £50)

She's mortified, it's completely knocked her confidence. I'm furious at them.

I understand, especially with having an epileptic child, you want the sitter to be alert and responsible. BUT parents were 4 and a 1/2 hours late. They know she wasn't asleep for long as she had rung them at 1.30, 2.30 and 3 am. They sleep through the night when they're at home.

So are there any reasons that I shouldn't go round and demand her money back? £50 is a lot for an 18 year old.

OP posts:
Animation · 26/09/2010 09:16

If that happened to my daughter - there's no way I'd leave it. I'd be over there this morning playing bloody hell. I'd remind them how irresponsible THEY were, that THEY were out of order to treat a baby sitter that way, and I would demand that THEY pay up front - now.

Don't let them get away with it.

aurynne · 26/09/2010 09:21

I must be very thick, but... what exactly is wrong with a baby-sitter falling asleep after all the children are asleep themselves? Is that not what happens everyday when the parents are home? Or do the parents stay vigil all night?

Animation · 26/09/2010 09:23

Aurynne - my thoughts too. Surely they all go to sleep at night?

diddl · 26/09/2010 09:25

Well it´s not that good to fall asleep as you are being paid.

Also, if they managed to get into the house & found her asleep on the sofa, that does suggest that she was very heavily asleep.

That said, she should still be paid-if they are not happy, the can find another babysitter can´t they?

Just not for 5GBP per hour for 3 children & no rate increase after midnight!

pointydog · 26/09/2010 09:25
Shock

Your sister should never sit for them again if this is really what happened. Their loss.

I'd be tempted to have a word with the couple too.

pointydog · 26/09/2010 09:27

Of course a sitter is going to fall asleep by 4am.

Nothing wrong with falling asleep while babysitting that late.

shimmerysilverglitter · 26/09/2010 09:27

I don't think there is anything wrong with a babysitter falling asleep. Do the parents do shits so someone is awake 24 hours a day with the children? How do you rationalise that a babysitter should stay awake those who think she should have?

StealthPolarBear · 26/09/2010 09:28

No I agree a babysitter shouldn't as a rule fall asleep. But babysitting is until about 1am at the latest IMO, after that it is "staying overnight to look after the children"

Animation · 26/09/2010 09:31

Babysitters who say all night aren't expected to stay awake too are they - after midnight?

ivykaty44 · 26/09/2010 09:34

actuallthe trick here may well be to let this peoaple ring again and ask her to babysit - (as i reckon they were trying it on to not pay the full wakck and that was why they shuted about her falling asleep) just get your sister to put the price up per hour to £6.50 or £7 and see if they still want her to babysit

shimmerysilverglitter · 26/09/2010 09:38

do shifts obviously Blush Blush Blush.

diddl · 26/09/2010 09:38

OP-did your sister get paid anything at all?

Animation · 26/09/2010 09:40

Staying midnight AND staying awake should be charged at £20 per hour - like staff nurses on a hopital ward get.

ben5 · 26/09/2010 09:41

i would go around at 4am and ask for the money as they must be awake at that time!
or i would go round with a bacon butty and coffee, half eaten and drunk off course and ask them if they would like to pay till at least midnight

Marjee · 26/09/2010 09:46

Please say something to them! Your poor sister, they are pisstakers. If shes not intending to work for them again theres nothing to lose by going and getting her money for her. Please don't let them get away with it, a grown man should not be shouting at a shy 18 year old and refusing to pay £5 per hour!

Animation · 26/09/2010 10:01

Marjee - is right, who does this man think he is being abusive and calling your sister 'useless' and 'negligent'? Your sister should be protected from that kind of behaviour - someone needs to go in there and sort him out. What about your mum or dad - ideally they should intervene?

ben5 · 26/09/2010 10:04

forgot to add that i pay double than that and never later than 11pm purely because i'm tired from looking after ds's during the day and the thought of getting up at 7 means i need sleep!
if she ever fancys a trip to perth australia then let me know!

spiritmum · 26/09/2010 10:07

A grown man does not shout at an 18 yr old girl. Presumably he was drunk as well as aggressive.

sb6699 · 26/09/2010 10:58

YANBU - presumably if they were home they would have been asleep at that time anyway. Its not as if your sister fell asleep and the children were running riot through the house.

Let us know how you get on.

Plumm · 26/09/2010 11:19

OP, show your sister this thread and the support she's got.

FortunateHamster · 26/09/2010 11:29

Awful behaviour. Definitely needs someone to go talk to them - personally I'd be tempted to go with your sister.

If you can, do please update us on the outcome.

size6feet · 26/09/2010 11:30

I second that plumm

Op - Hope it goes well. Please let us know the outcome.

SugarMousePink · 26/09/2010 12:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleMissHissyFit · 26/09/2010 12:11

when they ring again, say OK, and then cancel 30 minutes before they are due to go out.....

mwuh hahahahahahahah

taintedpaint · 26/09/2010 12:23

They're several hours late getting in and they have the balls to have a go at your little sister?! Are you frigging kidding me?!

Jesus.

Go round there (though take your sister with you, they need to see her there), get the money and tell your sister to find another family to work for. When I was a teenager and babysitting, if the parents were going to be late, they would call me and let me know. It was never a problem if I fell asleep on the sofa if they were late, it was ore or less expected, especially if they were this late, though I don't remember them ever getting home past 2am. What mattered to them was that I took good care of their children (and I did, they are 18 and 16 now and I am in touch with them to this day).

This family should be bending over backwards to apologise for being such shits to their lovely reliable babysitter, who has behaved infinitely more responsibly than the bloody parents. If I was them, I would've paid her the £50, given her £10 on top and bought her a gift voucher to apologise for being such awful bastards to her.

Please don't let this drop.

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