to think that, no, it is not possible to pay private school fees simply by "going without"?

[nameymcnamechange]

Of all the many thousands of things that annoy me about Mumsnet, it is this myth that more people could send their children to private school if they prioritised school fees over "extravagant lifestyles" and made sacrifices including but not limited to

• running one car or no car
• not going on holiday, or camping
• economising with food
• buying second hand clothes and not being interested in designer handbags

No, those small economies are not going to make the difference between a state or private education for the vast vast vast majority of families.

So can we please stop posting this kind of nonsense?

It would cost us at least £25k of post tax income to educate both our sons at local private schools at secondary level.

I would be going something to spend that much a year on a car and on holidays!

How can £25k of post tax income be within reasonable reach of most people?

i'm still not convinced private school do much in the long run anyway, world is still in a state and no-one has found a cure for the common cold.

Equally lots of people do have 2 holidays a year, drive new cars (1 or 2 years old), spend on clothes, extra curicular activities, gym memberships and meals out weekends away etc.

They could school fees but choose not to.

a)there are people who can and chose to
b)There are people who can and chose not to
c)There are people who can because they scrimp.
d)There are people who could if they scrimped but don't want to
e)There are people who could if they scrimped
but they wouldn't even if they didn't have to scrimp
f)There are people who can't
g)There are people who can't but still wouldn't if they could
h)There are people who don't really give a shit what other people chose for their kids

We could probably afford it, but obviously you don't find £18k a year (in our case for 2 dcs) without feeling it! (well maybe some people do...). We spend quite a lot on holidays and both work part time. If we both went full time we could do it, but it would certainly affect our standard of living and make me VERY nervous about not having any slack if one of us got made redundant.
But I agree, for most people, it is absolutely not an option. that's why only 7% of children go to private schools.

I think there are some people who do go without holidays and smart cars etc to pay school fees.
If they didn't pay school fees, then these people would have much more comfortable lives than they do, but feel it is a sacrifice worth making.

So I think we are somewhere between b) and e)...
But not h).

We only run one car, which we need as we live in a rural area with poor public transport.

Our holidays cost less than £1,000 a year.

We spend less than £100 a week on groceries.

I don't have any designer handbags.

So, I don't think that the savings we could make would fund private education for our 3 DC!

However, on the other hand, I haven't noticed anyone suggesting that we could.

I reckon I spend, on average, including presents for Birthday and Christmas maybe £20 a week on non-essentials.

The local Independent charges £3040 per term for Secondary so no way could I cut down and afford it!

"It's also not fair to be resentful and bitter towards people who can afford it, or who do make huge sacrifices.

you can't presume to know everyone else's circs"

Ha ha ha, if that isn't presumptious I don't know what is Warty.

I would only choose private education for my children if my income was so colossal that it somehow corrupted my life-long lefty tendencies.

I guess it may be possible to save £10,000 (post tax) a year on a not humungous salary. But not for more than one set of fees. And most families have more than one child of school age.

what pag said

I probably would send my DC to private school though if
(a) we could afford it
and
(b) we lived close enough to one for them to be day pupils.

But we can't and we don't (I think the closest one is about 1.5 hrs away).

£150 FOR PE KIT! Is it made of silk and gold or something?

No designer handbags, shop at 4 different supermarkets to save a few quid, holiday this year cost £260 for a week in a caravan and I pre cooked most of our meals to save money.

We just about get by as it is, I always have the choice of topping myself like, then DH could use the life insurance to send DS private?

I find it really hard to accept people who send kids privately. Mea culpa. I just think what a wanker all the time

Bursaries are not limited to one per family.

But, but, this isn't a rant about private schools. Each to their own. Its just this one particular oft-repeated (and rather thoughtless) bit of daftness that gets my giddy goat.

I think sometimes people say it OP, in response to the gross over generalisations that all parents who pay are hedge fund managers, scattering diamond dust from the windows of their helicopters.

Obviously, there are many wealthy parents for whom the fees are not too much of a push, but there are others making choices and sacrifices.

I guess it's the same as ballet or music lessons.
There are some who make real sacrifices for their children to experience them.
There are others who could never afford them, as they already live hand to mouth.

Prep fees are a lot less than secondary school fees. For me the current cost is akin to what I'd spend on a CM. I could only afford secondary school fees by making huge sacrifices and ds getting some kind of scholarship.

Obviously that isn't realistic if you earn less than the school fees but for some it is a realistic choice. Having said that I have one ds so that makes it easier. I am in awe of some who pay for up to five sets of school fees from one income with a SAHM!

And I expect there are women who return to work to help pay for them - which is another sort of sacrifice, I guess.

Obviously a lot of wome couldn't earn enough, or are already working to pay the bills.

"I am in awe of some who pay for up to five sets of school fees from one income with a SAHM!"

Don't be in awe, Mollie! Those people just earn a vast amount of money, which is not, in itself, anything to be in awe of. Surely.