The OFFICIAL buddy bench/naughty bench thread No. 3

[teaandcakeplease]

Come hither all those who haven't found their place on mumsnet, have scrapped in Aibu or crossed words in chat. The buddy bench shalt not judge.

The buddy bench will hand out wine and cakes, it will join you on your scoffathons getting pissed

All those who enter the Gazebo and sit on the bench, will have their sins erased and be given a warm welcome and cheerful chat from CheerfulYank, gomummy, tired mum, Elmo, AF, HE, Cheesey and far, far too many more to mention.

Welcome to the buddy bench, we look forward to meeting you all

Oh and don't forget, last one to leave polishes bench and locks up !

We are such twins, gomummy! DH and I were just recently talking about doing something like that with DS! We might do something with an end goal like Heifer International, but the idea of a pen pal sort of thing is lovely.

Cheery

Hello everyone, just a quick post as I have to be up in a few hours to go to Edinburgh but I will catch up on all the threads by reading them religously!

Missed you all, TM, GoMummy, AF, Tea, Cheesy, MCP and Cheeky, Im looking forward to catching up and to getting to know all x

erm, just realised you have all probably forgotten me! how fucking presumptious I am

Of course we have not forgotten you HE! Welcome back, so good to hear from you! Hope all is well, catch up with you soon. :)

We were just wondering what happened to you!

Hi HE, we were wondering where you were, good to see you back

Hello Extensions! Lovely to see you

Rubbish weather here today, STBXH came over this afternoon and hung out with the DCs. Was really quite pleasant and he also helped with the kids at the supermarket whilst I did a big shop.

Sorry to hear that you're still under the weather Tiredmum. That is taking a long time to shake. How's the bump? Oh and have you worked out any names for us yet?

Cheerful I am not even surprised that you were thinking of doing something similar! :) We have been planning to do it for a while but waited until we felt that DS could understand to some degree what we were doing. They do not have real mail service so letters will take a while to get back and forth, but I think it will be a very positive experience all around.

We were concerned about what organization to use, but the one that Tea has referred to (Compassion) appears excellent. We also considered the "end goal" type thing you have mentioned, if funds were able to stretch further I quite like that idea as well...maybe someday! :)

The only real "downside" (not really but don't have a better word) I've seen to it so far (particularly with the Compassion site and the World Vision site) is that researching and reading them makes you desperately wish that you could afford to do more...

HE you must update us when you have a moment. Any snow there yet?

Xpost Tea. May I just say how utterly impressed I continue to be at your management of your relationship with STBXH. Am glad he is being helpful, and that things are going ok that way. You Rock. :)

I also think it sound very mature of you tea, nice to hear its going smoothly.

i know gomummy it has been a hard one to shake, everything is fine afaik. when did you change your name back

no names yet i stopped thinking haha, which probably doesnt help

wow dh its being mega helpful, cooking, cleaning, washing, hoovering, he has great

he is great

Ha Tiredmum, you noticed! :) I had actually namechanged for another thread and when I changed back I forgot that I had dropped the second "go!" LOL. So just left it.

As he should be Tiredmum, but nice to hear that DH is taking good care of you. So I have to ask if you have found out baby's sex?

LOL, nice correction Tiredmum...I had to restrain myself from asking "has great what?"

well it's good for DCs if we have a good amicable relationship and good for us really. We're both being quite decent to each other. I think if the OW moves in with him I'd find it much harder tbh.

Yes, undoubtedly best for the DCs Tea, but must be much easier said than done. You are an impressively strong lady.

I think it's my faith that has helped me to forgive and let go. More than anything. A higher power has defo helped me I am sure. feel such peace about it all and content and complete acceptance. However it does help that he is not making my life hell in the divorce but being decent about it all. I think if my situation was like some I read on here, I'm not sure how I'd cope. You know?

What I know is that divorce is bloody hard, and that's without DCs or an OW in the equation. When I read about some of the nightmare divorces on here, I seriously do not know how I would ever cope with what some people go through.

If you can say that you feel peace, acceptance and contentment, then I think you should be tremendously proud of yourself as a person. Forgiveness is a choice. I have no doubt that your faith has helped significantly with this, but still it is something that you alone have chosen to do, and is probably the greatest gift that you could give yourself and your DCs. I am in awe of people who can exercise true forgiveness like that. I really do admire it. I know we are all supposed to forgive, but it can be really, really hard in practise.

So how would we Bench people go about exchanging mailing addresses for Christmas cards? I know it sounds early but mine do have to go out via one-winged carrier pigeon you know, lol!

Tea it sounds like you are doing great through all this, i hope things get better and better for you and the children.

it is ok if we still call you gomummy

dont know the sex yet, i have scan in the morning, i better go and dh if we are going to ask, just to make sure he hasnt changed his mind.

and i better not tell you about his great things you might get jealous

I meant ask dh - grr i keep making daft mistakes, terribly sorry

Don't give me too much respect. Still cross with OW as she was a family friend.

Oooo Tiredmum can't wait to see a piccy

What do you mean by: "and i better not tell you about his great things you might get jealous" I'm obviously being rather dense here aren't I?

Just watched CSI Miami that Eddie Cibrian is so fine...

Lol tea, it was to gomummy cos i made a little typo up the page a bit.

and its ok to feel the way you do about the ow, you are only human after all.

i am watching the million pound drop, i keep cheating and getting the answers off the net

Ugh tea, I think "cross with the OW" is a little mild for how I'd feel about it. You're a rock darling, really you are. :)

We could PM each other our addresses gomummy?

PMSL Tiredmum!

Yes we will be not-so-patiently awaiting scan photo....so are you and DH going to find out the sex? And as importantly of course, are WE going to find out the sex???

Tea - Did not know OW was a family friend, that is worse somehow...and I am with Cheerful on "cross with the OW" being a substantial understatement for how I'd feel. You deserve enormous respect.

Cheerful that is a great idea (using PM for addies), what does everyone else think?

Having realized that you are all likely (except Cheerful I think!) gone to dreamland now, will just say that if you are willing, please Benchers go ahead and PM me your addresses! :)

Oooh tiredmum! Find out if it's a girl or boy! I want to know I want to know! :o Tell your DH that your American computer friend insists on knowing so you have to find out. That's a sound argument, right?!

LOL and your Canadian one!