to buy a donor egg if mine are knackered?

[SassySusan]

Never thought I would, but find ourselves unexpectedly considering fertility treatment. Am a little over the hill. Apparently you can buy an anonymous donor egg in Spain without a wait - IVF has a higher success rate with the donor egg, and lots of the risks are reduced to that of a young mum (ie. the age of the donor)

DH and I are solvent, healthy, and nobody questions our ability to parent.

So have been surprised by the volume of negative reactions from family and friends to the idea. It's unnatural (what isn't!); the baby won't know its real mother (so what, lots won't know their bio Dad!); people shouldn't buy babies... etc.

I see it purely as a pratical issue - if we went down this route, it would be can we afford it, take the disappointment of failure etc. Can't see that there are any real moral/ethical issues for the baby... AIBU?

at scrambled eggs.

I'm so old now mine are pickled

quick question for you treedelivery as you are here. As a donor, have you told your children you have donated and if so, how did they feel about it? DC1 and 2 were fully aware I did it and (I think) thought it was a nice thing to do. I was open with them and they've never been curious. I just wondered what other donors children thought

Mine were only 5 and 10 months. So they had limited interest

DD1 is more aware, and is interested in so much as it is interesting. As it has no effect on her or her life it hasn't had an impact. As she grows up though, I guess we can expect some more questions and perhaps a desire to meet the baby and find out about it all. As a teenager and adult....who knows? I'm hoping they will all see each other as cousins who live far away. They may have zero interst though. The worst case I suppose, will be interest and desire to be close on one side, but not the other.

But then that might happen between her and her sister so no point worrying until we see how it all pans out.

I have been rubbish today and can't seem to find the articles. I know that I did loads of research online before we had the treatment.

I did find this Telegraph article, though, which sets out some of the reasons for telling. www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthadvice/3356323/Lifeclass-should-parents-tell-a-donor-child-about-their-true-origins.html

This is interesting too, from the donor conception network. www.donor-conception-network.org/letters3.htm

i posted a New York Times story at the start of the thread that also goes into the whys and why nots of telling, including some research.

The conclusion seemed to be it didn't matter to the child's wellbeing either way. (these children hadn't gone through adolescence yet though!)

[email protected] donor available

angelittler at yahoo dot co dot uk. Donor available.

Er I think there is a personal message facility now.

Bless you Ange.