Female violence towards men

[yorkshireblue]

I have noticed a lot of posts which state violence towards males.
Is it ok for females to say these things towards males?
If this was dadsnet and these comments where aimed at women what would be the outcome?
Female violence is as bad as male violence

I don't care if anyone else is offended by the thread or not. The fact you're not doesn't invalidate my feelings does it??!! I am saying that all this inflation of female violence against men is deflecting from the real issue, which is that women are being beaten and abused all over the world, including emotional abuse. Have you experienced abuse? If I want to be offended I will thanks.

See it like feminist top trumps in here.

Just because there are more incidents of male>female does not make female>male any less of an issue, it's still excatly the same. Infact more of an issue support wise I'd say as is it's less likely to be reported as people don't believe it.

A man talks like that he is a potential wife beater, a woman talks like that it's a "joke" as what exactly is she going to do about it.

Abuse is a 2 way street and it's quite disgusting the lengths women will go to, to ok it when it happens to men. It's no good saying, "It's wrong, I don't agree BUT......" It's not acceptable no ifs no buts.

If it's not acceptable for a man to say, "I want to kick her head in and rip her tits off" in jest it's equally not acceptable for a woman to say about a man, "I want to puch his face in and chop his dick off" said in jest or not.

It's all about repsect for another human being IMVHO it's not acceptable to talk about any person like that male or female and any decent person wouldn't. People who talk like that always come across as a bit unhinged to me anyway.

But with regards to the op, yes huge double standards, you only have to read this thread to see that, people trying to find justification as to why it's more "acceptable" for women to say things like that. When it's not, it's just double standards.

So because one gender experiences DV more the other should just shut up and take it because if they complain it will offend you?

It's common knowledge that when police are called violent men suddenly become the voice of reason and turn it all around. Easy as often the woman is in a highly emotional state. The police are gradually becoming more aware of this but there is still a lot of work to be done. This is one example of how the stats are inaccurate.
Am bowing out now as I'm too sure I'm right to be debating it and won't budge an inch.

You have no understanding of the issue Maryz

Common knowledge to who?

So...let's apply this logic to another area. We all agree that people starving to death is not something we want to happen in a civillised world. Do we say, oh well, yes, there are some people starving in South America, but nowhere near the amount of people starving in Sub-saharan Africa so drawing attention and acknowledging starvation in South America just deflecting from the real issue. Besides, some of those people starving in South America are exaggerating how hungry they are...

Isn't that just as ridiculous? If men and women are equal, then violence to either is unnacceptable. We no longer accept the 'men are stronger' argument as justification for discrimination against women, so we cannot use the argument that women can't hurt men as much to justify a tolerance of female to male violence.

I am just enjoying the irony that a thread exploring violence against men has been derailed by all the posters coming in and saying 'but what about the womenz?' - the very thing that the posters in the feminist topic complain vociferously about when the reverse ('what about the menz?') happens on those threads.

Sheesh, you would think MN had learnt by now: there'll be no sympathy for men on this forum!

Spikey, IT's not a competition.

Women that are violent to men often use very similar behaviour prior to the violence than men. (Predominately emotional abuse).

The effect on the victims are similar (mental and physically)

The effect on children who witness the violence is similar.

The main difference is that for a man there are virtually no support services to go to and that society laughs off violence from women.

and before you ask, I've been there on a personal level, I've worked for 10 years with victims of domestic violence (women) and seen friends be stuck in living hell.

violence breeds violence that is passed on to the next generation often as victims or as perps.

"If anyone touches a man's bits anywhere in the world it's a major global story" - uhuh. Cos it's not like thousands of male children are circumcised routinely. Going to read rest of thread now.

I just don't understand it honestly how does a bad thing get negated because bad things happen to other people surely they are all reprehensible why does it have to become a pissing contest?

Actually sprogger, for a start, I don't think female circumcision is always about male violence against females - from what I've seen, in a lot of communities families (including the older females) have it done to their children because it's seen as normal. Sexual 'normality' has a part in it, but it's not exactly done in a fit of male rage.

Male circumcision, likewise, is a painful act committed on small children, as a 'normalising' intervention. I don't know the statistics on men 'getting' circumcised, as far as I'm aware (will admit to not being an expert though) it's normally done by parents, to babies or small boys. I've heard a lot of American women say they can't believe non-cicrumcised males could be as hygienic. However unlike with female circumcision, it's not outcried as abusive, which I'm not sure I personally can feel comfortable about.

I was mostly just uncomfortable that the poster mentioned female circumcision, then implied there were no non-famous cases of anyone 'touching a man's bits' as if male genital interference doesn't happen at all.

Saltatrix, because if we start suggesting women can be perpetrators, then everyone will stop believing that they can also be victims too, because the haloic and downtrodden aura of the entire gender would be besmirched.

...that's the best theory I can come up with.

sprogge
of course the scale of male to female violence is far greater than female to male
perhaps I should not of put the last line in my thread

I was just commenting on the casual way MNers
use violent comments
If a woman (friend or stranger) did something to annoy/upset me and I did a thread about it I would not title the thread someting like this
AIBU to punch this woman in the face
I would probably put
AIBU to think this woman is a ignorant turd

or some other simular comment

Here's another question: What about male-on-male or female-on-female violence? Is it more or less acceptable for me to talk about harming my lesbian partner (who is a woman, but on the other hand so am I...) or for my gay friend Steven to talk about chopping off his boyfriend's balls... because Steve is male, but then so is his bf... what's the hierarchy? Is it statistical?

Snorbs wrote - "Did you know that three men a month are killed in domestic violence incidents in the UK?"

That is a shocking statistic. I've not seen it stated explicitly in that form and would be interested in any recent link you could provide.

The statistic is implied and supported by data in the UK Home Office Report Research Paper 99/56 27 May 1999.

Figures in the report imply the following:

650 murders per year.
426 male victims = 8% killed by partner = 34 per year = approx. 3 per month

224 female victims = 47% killed by partner = 105 year = approx. 2 per week

Data is not provided on the sex of the partner.

Sprogger, you're right of course, it's not about circumcision. I was just having a tangenty vent.

I don't like the threatening comments by women about their DPs and vice versa.

Some of the offensive language that women use in such posts could be a result of those women mistakenly assuming they are in a women-only forum on Mumsnet. I think some of them would behave differently if they realised there are men reading these comments. (I'm told that men behave differently in a male-only locker-room).

fuck me, I always forget that nearly 50% of female murder victims are killed by their partner :(

None of this "don't talk to strangers" stuff - talk to strangers, and choose a single life if you want to maximise your safety :(

SleepingLion wrote - "I am just enjoying the irony that a thread exploring violence against men has been derailed by all the posters coming in and saying 'but what about the womenz?' - the very thing that the posters in the feminist topic complain vociferously about when the reverse ('what about the menz?') happens on those threads."

"What about the menz" arises when non-feminists equate discrimination or abuse experienced by some men to what happens to many more women.

Any "What about the womenz" on this thread has not been about trying to equate discrimination or abuse experienced by some women to what happens to many more men.

They are not the same.

Any "what about the womenz" on this thread is trying to draw attention to something that happens to many more women and fewer men.