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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up that the nursery are obviously spoon feeding

119 replies

Rachiesparrow · 10/09/2010 18:39

...when I specifically asked them not to?

I'm doing baby led weaning, and it's going really well. I asked the nursery if they would also do this, and explained the principles. They agreed and said that whatever I wanted, they would do.

However, I've noticed that when I offer Martha a spoon full of stuff, rather than take it from me and feed herself, she'll open her mouth like a little baby bird and wait for me to shovel it in.

I know I should pick my battles, and it's not a massive deal - babies are adaptable things after all.

She's happy there, and I'm sure that baby led weaning isn't for everyone. They probably feel more comfortable with spoon feeding a 9 month old. I'm still pissed off though.

Should I call them on it or just let it lie?

OP posts:
Lulumaam · 10/09/2010 18:42

if you're doing BLW, why are you offering a spoon ?

the point is no spoons, the baby feeds his/herself with finger foods .

cutlery comes a bit later

i think you are perfectly entitled to ask nursery to let DD feed her self with her hands but you don't really have any proof they are not doing so, except that she opens her mouth for the spoon.

Bigmouthstrikesagain · 10/09/2010 18:42

I would say Yabu - not for BLW - but for expecting a nursery to do it for you. They have a number of children to get through lunch in a set time and want to be sure of whats eating - do BLW at home and let it go.

CharlottesClan · 10/09/2010 18:42

call them on it. it will effect her development, in that soon enough she will expect to be spoon fed by you at home.

dont have none of it, phone them up and if necessary move nurseries. after all if you asking them to give your child food to feed themselves (thus making the caregivers job EASIER) cant be ad eared to what next?

rubyslippers · 10/09/2010 18:42

Its not a big deal IMO

Am doing BLW with DD but also spoon feed on occasion

Why aren't they doing it? They may just be a little unsure about it ...

Bigmouthstrikesagain · 10/09/2010 18:43

'whats eating'?? umm I think I meant whats being eaten or how much any way you get my drift I hope.

rubyslippers · 10/09/2010 18:44

Affect her development? Really?

Babies can, IME switch between both methods really easily

Lulumaam · 10/09/2010 18:44

how will it affect her development?

lots of babies are spoon fed totally, lots have mix of spoon and finger foods and some just finger foods. i cannot see who spoon feeding will affect her development. and if she is happy there and it is a great nursery, it's not worth pulling her out over it

speak to teh manager and her key worker about BLW and stress that finger foods are fine and all she needs at her meals

Lulumaam · 10/09/2010 18:44

also, how many days and hours is she at nursery?

sapphireblue · 10/09/2010 18:46

Is it really such a big deal? really? And Grin at being spoon fed affecting development....what a ridiculous notion!

ilovemountains · 10/09/2010 18:47

But what if the meals at nursery aren't finger foods? Are you sending your own food in to cover this?

LynetteScavo · 10/09/2010 18:50

My 3DC ate off a spoon if it was offered to them, or fed themselves it the food was left on the tray.

YABU.

mumbar · 10/09/2010 18:50

I do not get how it would effect her development. She knows spoon with food goes in her mouth - spot on so far. They may be doing it with her but shes learnt this from watching other babies being fed??

I didn't do baby led weaning - never heard of it before mumsnet - simply spoon fed ds from 4 months and gave him a spoon to play with. He happily just did it when he was ready. Didn't have finger food til much later as no teeth.

Talk to them if you feel you need to but they probably don't have time to feed all children this way in which case it might be a case of deciding which is more important - how dd is fed or which nursery she is at.

SauvignonBlanche · 10/09/2010 18:52

Yes, YABU. I'm sure it won't 'affect her development'!

Original poster
Rachiesparrow · 10/09/2010 18:52

Bigmouth - I see your point. However, I did ask them whether they would be happy to do it, and they said they would. I wouldn't have minded if they'd refused, and given reasons - I know it's messy and time consuming - and they said yes.

Lulumaam - with foods like weetabix, yoghurt and other sloppy stuff I offer her a loaded spoon. She feeds herself with it. It's part of the blw thing. She has to learn to use cutlery at some point and she seems comfortable with it. That's why I'm a bit fed up - she's perfectly capable of feeding herself.

rubyslippers - yes, I think that they are a bit unsure about it.

Thanks for the responses. You've helped me chill a bit. I will let it go. I was prob being a bit unreasonable for getting peed off about it. Only a bit, mind.

OP posts:
diddl · 10/09/2010 18:52

Doesn´t it rather depend on the food that is offered at lunch?

However, if it´s one meal and she still has two at home for you to do BLW, I would say YABU.

Lulumaam · 10/09/2010 18:54

yoghurt can be eaten with the hands Wink

i am impressed at 9 mths she's got to grips with a spoon, that's great

Original poster
Rachiesparrow · 10/09/2010 18:55

Lulumaam - Is there a proud mummy face emoticon?

OP posts:
wigglybeezer · 10/09/2010 18:56

Mine were weaned before BLW was invented and are not being spoonfed their school dinners by the dinner ladies! she will be fine.

rubyslippers · 10/09/2010 18:56

Just chat to them about it ... Most nurseries offer purees and mash as a matter of course and may not be confident about the finger foods/self feeding thing

mumbar · 10/09/2010 18:58

Ah Lulumaam you've just given me a flashback to DS' early years - at 9months he could put a spoon in a bowl and lift to his mouth. (unfortunatly it was usally anything in a 2 mile radius that got the food Grin)

Original poster
Rachiesparrow · 10/09/2010 19:00

It's not that I think pureeing is a bad way to go - it's just not the way that I've chosen, and blw is working really well for us. I'm sure having the odd thing spooned in will not harm her in some fundamental way. I just wish they would do as they said they would do. It bothers me when she does that baby bird thing. It's like my feisty, independent child suddenly turns into someone else. But that's my problem, not theirs.

rubyslippers, I think I will. Although I did at the beginning, and they seemed to get it, but not all the carers are the same every time.

OP posts:
5DollarShake · 10/09/2010 19:01

The Gill Rapley book does suggest passing babies loaded spoons to feed themselves. It's not against 'the rules'! Grin

I dunno, I wouldn't go into battle about it. She'll get enough practice at home. Can't believe someone is suggesting pulling her out of the nursery over it...? Total over-reaction, much?!

Original poster
Rachiesparrow · 10/09/2010 19:03

mumbar - goodness. Martha can't co-ordinate spoon and bowl very well yet. I have to give it to her already loaded, otherwise the bowl ends up on the floor and food is catapulted across the dining room.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rachiesparrow · 10/09/2010 19:03

5dollarhake - I don't think it's worth pulling her out over, no!

OP posts:
tartyhighheels · 10/09/2010 19:11

This obsession with BLW is extraordinary. I have 4dcs, the first two born before it was invented i think.... and the third, well he is 21 months old, sometimes eats with his hands, sometimes off a spoon, a fork and seems to be developmentally doing very ok. All my children eat a wide variety of healthy foods (this is because i chose to feed them healthy foods)- the two older ones have schools dinners and eat them up with cutlery.... This is just common sense surely, why do people get so wrapped up in it???

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