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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up that the nursery are obviously spoon feeding

119 replies

Rachiesparrow · 10/09/2010 18:39

...when I specifically asked them not to?

I'm doing baby led weaning, and it's going really well. I asked the nursery if they would also do this, and explained the principles. They agreed and said that whatever I wanted, they would do.

However, I've noticed that when I offer Martha a spoon full of stuff, rather than take it from me and feed herself, she'll open her mouth like a little baby bird and wait for me to shovel it in.

I know I should pick my battles, and it's not a massive deal - babies are adaptable things after all.

She's happy there, and I'm sure that baby led weaning isn't for everyone. They probably feel more comfortable with spoon feeding a 9 month old. I'm still pissed off though.

Should I call them on it or just let it lie?

OP posts:
Maria2007loveshersleep · 10/09/2010 20:32

Well exactly what if the child leads in the direction of the (dreaded) spoon?! Wink

mumbar · 10/09/2010 20:34

thesecondcoming Grin at babies doing online shop. can just see ICT part of EYFS records stating that Wink

SirBoobAlot · 10/09/2010 20:47

Grin TSC

thesecondcoming · 10/09/2010 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

undercovamutha · 10/09/2010 21:00

OP can we swap nurseries? My DS's nursery really encourage the LOs eating with a spoon by themselves. As a result DS (17mo) will now NEVER let me even hold a spoon, under any circumstance. As a result him eating a bowl of beans now takes approximately 3 hours Grin !

HeathcliffMoorland · 10/09/2010 21:02

I wouldn't fuss over it tbh.

SirBoobAlot · 10/09/2010 21:03

Do you believe me now? Grin Wink Hope you squirted her in the eye! What did she say? How's your little man doing?

CharlottesClan · 10/09/2010 21:09

meltedchocolate - i just meant from my experiance. my mum constantly gave my ds spoon fed meals, when we were doing blw. as a result he went thru a stage where he suddenly wouldnt touch food and went all funny about it.

granted, was bad choosing of words. wont effect development, but may well cause you problems like it did me.

thesecondcoming · 10/09/2010 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirBoobAlot · 10/09/2010 21:19

"We all" - Christ, she was obviously feeling very special, seeing as her opinion was worth more than one... Love your reaction, might have to scribble that one down Just In Case. The ones who mutter just as they're leaving the train / bus / room are my favourite type Grin Glad he is doing well :)

mumbar · 10/09/2010 21:21

TSC another Grin for you tonight. Glad DS is doing well as well btw.

'we know what your doing' - bit immature? We used to sing that as kids to adults or friends.

theidsalright · 10/09/2010 21:41

my nursery did the exact same thing. I didn't say anything, even though I was really annoyed as I didn't want to potentially upset DS settling in.

It did set him back with regards to the self feeding skills, no doubt about it, but he has caught up again now and has even started using a spoon himself (17 months), although he continues to enjoy his fingers.

I would hold off if I were you, and choose your battles with nursery as with everything else!

theidsalright · 10/09/2010 21:41

oops

YANBU

LadyBiscuit · 10/09/2010 21:45

I really wouldn't sweat it. I did blw with my DS, he went to nursery from 7m and they fed him. He was happy being fed and happy feeding himself when he was with me. Really not a big deal.

Honestly, it's a few months and I know it seems make or break now but in a few months' time you'll be looking back and realising that you are stressed for naught.

Sorry if that sounds terribly patronising but I would hate anyone to go through the needless anxiety that I and countless other women before you have done.

Have a glass of wine and relax :)

wukter · 10/09/2010 21:49

Relax everybody, OP's come back twice now and has basically shrugged and let it go, no need to keep laying in.

pointydog · 10/09/2010 21:53

I think once you are giving someone else the job of looking after your child, you should either accept the routines they have in place that make things work for them or you should change your childcare.

Contraversial, I know.

Nurseries and cms have a group of children to care for and need to able to set their own workable routines.

pointydog · 10/09/2010 21:55

Other people are sharing in bringing up your child. That's where I believe compromise has to come in. It is not just you bringing up your child.

LadyBiscuit · 10/09/2010 22:03

I can't be bothered to read the whole thread when it's about something like this wukter :o

Sorry OP - enjoy a bit of child-free time (even if it is at work)

wukter · 10/09/2010 22:16

Lady Biscuit - Some topics just inspire a Pavlov-type response, don't they. Grin

BrightLightBrightLight · 10/09/2010 23:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumeeee · 10/09/2010 23:56

YABU. Iworked in a nursery for a while where one of the babies was doing baby lead weaning, The nursery did try but it was very hard for them and also seeme to involve a lot of mess.

Original poster
Rachiesparrow · 11/09/2010 07:26

Secondcoming - but I do send her down to the Deli. I pin a tenner to her nappy and she usually comes back with some artisan cheese and a couple of chops.

OP posts:
lovely74 · 11/09/2010 07:50

Oh this is so annoying when people doing BLW get jumped on because obviously spoon fed babies learn to self feed / aren't always fussy etc. Of course, every child is different and every parent can choose what to do with their child. BLW isn't a newly invented method of weaning, it;s just one method that's had some publicity recently and actually makes total sense (but if you want to spoonfeed go ahead).
I'm BLW and DS will be starting nursery soon. I've told them what we do, that it's very messy, and they assured me that is fine and they'll do what I request. So I'll be very pissed off if they don't (or at least not talk to me about it first. Because he's my child, not theirs.
My MIL has a bad habit of sticking finger food in DS's mouth when he stops eating even though I've told her I don't want her too and I just don't understand why. Can't we just wean and let wean?!

andiem · 11/09/2010 07:56

When ds2 went to nursery and I explained about blw they all smiled and nodded and then a couple of weeks later one of them let slip oh you are the one who does the weird weaning thing!!

Maria2007loveshersleep · 11/09/2010 07:57

OK that may be all true lovely, but as far as I'm concerned if BLW is as you say not a 'newly invented method' (which it isn't, you're right) why create a fashion around it and call it baby led weaning and not just call it letting baby eat finger foods? And why go berserk if a child eats from a spoon PLUS eats fingers foods?

What gets on my nerves is this holier than thou idea that babies are somehow 'leading' and are thus more independent and that parents who feed fingers foods plus purees are 'shovelling food in' and all sorts of other annoying expressions. I fed my DS purees plus finger foods, and believe me, I never 'shovelled' anything in nor pushed him and my DS never resembled a baby bird thank you very much.

And by the way, yes he's your child not the nursery's, but that doesn't mean the nursery is obliged to follow everything you do at home with your child, they have their own routine, their own way of doing things, and only up to a point can they change things to oblige parents, otherwise there wouldn't be time to do anything.

By the way, just as an aside, at most nurseries where I've worked, babies/toddlers are impressive in their self-feeding abilities & the wide range of foods they eat (soup, finger foods, fruit, veg) just because copying other children & sitting at the table to eat really helps.