to be fed up that the nursery are obviously spoon feeding

[Rachiesparrow]

...when I specifically asked them not to?

I'm doing baby led weaning, and it's going really well. I asked the nursery if they would also do this, and explained the principles. They agreed and said that whatever I wanted, they would do.

However, I've noticed that when I offer Martha a spoon full of stuff, rather than take it from me and feed herself, she'll open her mouth like a little baby bird and wait for me to shovel it in.

I know I should pick my battles, and it's not a massive deal - babies are adaptable things after all.

She's happy there, and I'm sure that baby led weaning isn't for everyone. They probably feel more comfortable with spoon feeding a 9 month old. I'm still pissed off though.

Should I call them on it or just let it lie?

tarty - I'm not wrapped up in it. I'm more pissed off that they nursery said they would do it and then haven't.

And surely I can choose how I wean my own child, without it being an obsession?

Oh I agree tarty. It's just teaching them to eat solid food. That's all. Nothing to do with independence, feistiness or IQ.

Honestly, I think you have far too much time on your hands. If you choose nursery care then compromises have to be made.

My daughter started nursery at 9 months and stubbornly refused to eat off a spoon. As a result she lost a lot of weight. We have had our GP and health visitor breathing down our necks.

When my daughter's weight dropped from the 50th to 0.4th percentile THEN it was time to have a word with the nursery about letting her eat proper food with her fingers.

Provided food and minerals get into your child's body it really doesn't matter whether your child is spoonfed or self feeds.

Unless a child has major disablity no school child eats purees.

I didn't say it had anything to do with IQ. I do think it has alot to do with independence though. And like I said - MY CHOICE.

reallytired - I realise this. I'm just fed up that they said they would do it and they haven't.

Anyway, thank you for the responses.

To recap - yes, I was probably a bit unreasonable to be annoyed, and I probably won't call them on it.

I do, however, reserve the right to bring up my child how I choose, and I can't see why people think that blw is a mark of obsessiveness, or a comment on other people's choices.

I am off now. The vodka and tonic is calling me from the drinks cabinet, and I can never resist.

Of course you can bring up your child how you like.

But I think when others are involved in childcare then compromises must be made.

But perhaps ask if they could do it as much as possible.

Oh lord, chill out woman.

I think that if the OPs baby can eat with her hands and off a loaded spoon, the nursery should allow her too.

OP is it everything, or just a few particularly runny things like runny yoghurt? Do they give finger foods or do they mash it all up making it difficult for her. Can't you just talk to them - they are obliged to do as you ask, surely - you are paying them. If they agreed to it and it isn't some kind of pre-written policy, I think they should honour your agreement.

TBH depite my about BLW (purely as I had never heard of it) I'm surprised that DD isn't offered any banana, raisens, toast etc at all during day as most nurseries do do this.

Although I think YAB slightly U I do think you could just brooch with the nursery what shes eating etc. It is possible she has seen other babies being spoon fed and fancies a go!! I know that makes her sound like a genius but babies do learn by imitation so anything possible.

Don't know anything about BLW as I didn't choose it, however YABVU indeed not to pass the vodka round .
It's Friday chill and enjoy your weekend.

mumbar - they do offer things like raisins and fruit pieces. I'd just quite like it if they things they did spoon feed could be given to her to manage on her own. They did agree to it after all. And I'm certain that she is a complete genius. The world has not seen the like.

RubyB, I think they mash up the main meals - e.g. if they have tuna bake or shepherd's pie. I'm ok with that, really, but wish they would let her feed herself.

It's the fact that they said they would do something, and clearly are not doing it that bothers me, rather than any worries about my child's development.

proudnglad - I am quite chilled. The vodka is helping.

babbi - have some! It is lovely. Lovely and cold.

I can't quite see how this proves that they are spoon feeding her. It's a fairly natural response for a baby to open its mouth when presented with a spoon of food, especially if she's sitting with other children doing the same. It doesn't necessarily mean that they are putting the spoon into her mouth. More likely, they are loading the spoon for her and she's copying those around her as 9 month olds do.

Good idea about the vodka though, it is Friday after all.....

I agree if they said they'd do something they should especially if you chose said nusery on that promise. You pay enough!!

puddlepuss - thats exactly what I thought.

You really have no evidence that they aren't doing BLW, to be fair. She may just be doing it for you, because you are Mummy and children behave differently for Mummy than they do for nursery. It's quite possible she's eating everything with her fingers and not letting them near her with a spoon! I would clarify before getting annoyed with them.

You don't know what the nursery are doing. Your child is opening her mouth when she sees food - that's what young mammals do

How about you talk to the nursery and find out what they're actually doing? You do need to accept though, as others have said, that childcare involves some compromises and that baby led weaning is neither obligatory nor better than any other method. All weaning involves exposing a child to food they feed themselves. I think BLW encourages mums to be a bit braver with that and to feed their babies more of 'family' food than previously but it is not a holy grail to be revered above all other methods.

As for a spoon affecting her development - real wtf moment from me there I'm afraid.

I don't think you can actually know for sure that the nursery are doing it She has learnt that when she / you bring a loaded spoon to her mouth, she should open it to get the food in.

You're making a fuss about nothing tbh.

YABU, let it go, what does it matter: it's only learning to eat solids for god's sake, it really really doesn't mean your child will be any more or less independent / feisty because of opening mouth or spoonfeeding herself, sorry but I think you're reading way too much into this.

... and glad to see you're chilled & happy with the vodka

I think what irritated me a bit in your post was your expressions 'open mouth like a baby bird' 'did the baby bird thing' and 'shovel food in'. You say you don't make comments about the way other people feed their babies, but really. And I say that as someone whose DS wouldn't accept spoons after 8 months anyway so finger foods (I stubbornly will NOT call it BLW!!) was the way to go for us out of necessity.

Thesecondcoming: quite. Of course the child- necessarily- is 'led' by good & bad ways by the parents. That is an inevitable part of life. Better to accept it & move on, spoons or no spoons, rather than obsess about baby led this or that.

Rant over.

"call them on it. it will effect her development, in that soon enough she will expect to be spoon fed by you at home."

What a silly thing to say. Bonkers. My son wasn't baby led weened at all and he is still (aged two) the best eater of any child I have bumped in to (not by anything I have done - just his love of food and un fussy-ness) BLW isn't something that even works for some children. Why generalise your child? Bonkers.

She is leading you! She wants you to do the spooning as she has seen her friends be fed and can't be arsed to do all the work anymore

thesecondcoming I bow down before you.