Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

to be fed up that the nursery are obviously spoon feeding

119 replies

Rachiesparrow · 10/09/2010 18:39

...when I specifically asked them not to?

I'm doing baby led weaning, and it's going really well. I asked the nursery if they would also do this, and explained the principles. They agreed and said that whatever I wanted, they would do.

However, I've noticed that when I offer Martha a spoon full of stuff, rather than take it from me and feed herself, she'll open her mouth like a little baby bird and wait for me to shovel it in.

I know I should pick my battles, and it's not a massive deal - babies are adaptable things after all.

She's happy there, and I'm sure that baby led weaning isn't for everyone. They probably feel more comfortable with spoon feeding a 9 month old. I'm still pissed off though.

Should I call them on it or just let it lie?

OP posts:

puddlepuss · 11/09/2010 08:03

marenmj · 11/09/2010 08:12

mumeeee, I did BLW but didn't ask the nursery to follow it because I realise it took DD ~1 hour most days to finish a proper meal. Nursery just doesn't have the time/staff to sit around and wait while she takes her sweet time develomentally exploring her food

She is 20 months now and not only a voracious eater, but quite handy with cutlery. Doesn't seem to have done her any lasting harm. We found the best thing we did was buy a set of metal cutlery for her from the toy section of ikea. It's meant to be part of the play kitchen, but works brilliantly for toddler cutlery and she is ridiculously proud to use "grown up" cutlery.

Just think, your LO is learning that different places have different rules and ways of doing things and with any luck she won't break down at a playdate because her toast was not cut properly (have seen this happen)

blueshoes · 11/09/2010 08:52

Agree with Maria.

BLW is not the end all and be all. It is hardly even novel - just a feeding method that busy mothers of more than one child use, by a child-'guru'-invented name.

Use a nanny if you want to be prescriptive about BLW. Nurseries oblige if they can but they are busy places.

Children learn faster and eat much better at nurseries because of the socialisation factor Maria describe (if speed of development is what floats your boat), far better than BLW.

bruffin · 11/09/2010 09:28

well said lovely, BLW is just a fashion statement dressed up by psuedo science.
What on earth is eith sane or sensible about a baby eating yoghurt with his fingers.

Weaning never really used to be a problem, butno it is a huge thing to be scared of. BLW is behind most of the scaremongering on the weaning boards.

It is interesting none of the recent reviews or position statements by the NHS, EFSA,AAP,ESPHGAN and BDA even make a mention of BLW and are now going to "old fashioned" signs of readiness such as "showing interest in food"

thesecondcoming · 11/09/2010 10:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hairytriangle · 11/09/2010 10:26

yanbu!!!!

bruffin · 11/09/2010 10:39

Asorry that should have said
Well said maria not lovely

BrightLightBrightLight · 11/09/2010 11:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lovely74 · 11/09/2010 11:08

Oh again so unfair! I know BLW isn't some new amazing concept, I said that!. With my DS now (nearly 1 yr) it would take as long to spoon feed him as it would to give him the food and let him spoon it in himself. He's messy, but then so are spoon fed babies.
As far as the nursery goes, I'm fully expecting him to learn new skills watching the other children eat (like the knowledge that plates are for getting food off, not putting on your head...).
You may all think that BLW is complete bumph, and I know it won't be the end of the world if the nursery spoons a bit in, but I'd want to know why they'd feel the need to when he can do it himself. Also if your spoonfeeding the food tends to be mushier. Fine if it's supposed to be, like yoghurt (DS has never used his hands to eat yoghurt either...). But i;ll find if frustrating if they mash stuff unecesserily, like one poster has mentioned. Apart from a few obvious exceptions, at that age they can eat food as lumpy ie normal in consistency as us so why not encourage that????
I don't think I'm some amazing trailblazer for not having spoonfed my child, but I am happy with the results so would like my nursery to help continue with successful weaning, that's all. Unreasonable?

Northernlurker · 11/09/2010 11:13

I don't think anyone has said it's bumph? It's a prfectly good technique butv it's not the only way and it's not a method that must be stuck to slavishly. Also it does take longer for most children to feed themselves than it does for them to eat with assistance. If you're using group childcare you have to accept that lunchtime cannot be endlessly extended though the nursery shouold do their best.

blueshoes · 11/09/2010 12:11

lovely, so if the nursery had to tidy up earlier than it takes for your dc to BLW his/her way through the meal, would you complain that your dc came home hungry?

Why should other children have to wait for your child to finish when they can be getting on with fun activities.

This is group care. BLW is fine, but not to the exclusion of everything else. YABU if you think you can dictate in a group care situation.

lovely74 · 11/09/2010 13:30

No I wouldn't expect this at all, I really wouldn't. I'm lucky that my DS is going to nursery when he's over 1 so he's pretty proficient at feeding and I'd just like it to continue this way. And if there's an issue, then they would need to discuss it with me. And as I said I don't want them to do unecessary stuff like puree his Shepherds Pie...

bridewolf · 11/09/2010 13:58

a nursery has lots of children to feed at once, and when they are over one year old they do feed themselves for the most part, with a little bit of help, shared around.

i have to say, that i have noticed as i work in a school , as a dinner lady that the latest starters over the years are less and less confidant with forks...spoons yes, and more often use their fingers...
so i do wonder if people are finding this blw means just finger food?

annec555 · 11/09/2010 13:58

I do find some of the names for parenting practices a bit silly but baby led weaning as a concept is hardly some new fad or silly modern idea. Purees are actually a relatively new thing - they became popular when formula first became popular. The early formulas were pretty poor quality and babies weren't getting the nutrition that they needed so there was a need to wean before a baby would naturally be developmentally ready to begin to take solid food - purees were therefore introduced.

BLW therefore really ought to be simply called "weaning" but I would imagine that there would be an outcry if people who wean with purees were pushed off the mainstream pedestal and forced to qualify what they are doing as "spoon weaning" or "puree weaning".

5DollarShake · 11/09/2010 14:08

Lovely74 - the point is that you said you'd want to know why they'd feel the need to feed your child instead of letting him feed himself, and the answer is - the amount of time it takes, as blueshoes says. That's it. No great mystery - it just takes up too much time.

Northernlurker - the thing about BLWers is that they do feel the need to follow it slavishly.

The minute you put a spoon in your child's mouth, you can no longer say you BLW. It's very much all or nothing!!

Claw3 · 11/09/2010 14:29

Baby led weaning, ffs. Surely if you have to load the spoon and place it in the baby's hand, its not baby led weaning, its parent led.

I knew when mine were ready to feed themselves, they would grab at the spoon and try to do it themselves.

lovely74 · 11/09/2010 14:40

So if DS was taking twice as long as the other kids to eat his food then they could talk to me about it and explain it's not practical. But he doesn't. It takes no longer to hand him a spoon with food on it as it does to spoon it straight in! It takes longer in the early days but once they get practiced at it then they speed up, as with anything.
5Dollar I don't feel the need to follow it slavishly as you put it, I just don't see the need to do it any differently to how we started. And as I keep saying, if the nursery did then I'd expect them to tell me and tell me why, resonable I think?!
Ive really enjoyed weaning the we have (lets call it "non-puree weaning " as DS has been eating proper food (by this I mean normal tastes and textures) from the start and he enjoys them. Doesn't mean it's right for everyone, and if he hadn't been such an enthusiastic eater maybe i would have done a combination of finger foods and spoonfeeding but I didn't need to.

lovely74 · 11/09/2010 14:43

Claw3 if I hand DS a spoonful of porridge, stew etc and he doesn't want it, he chucks it on the floor. Clear enough. Of course its parent led, how else would the food get in front of him?! But he decides what goes in and what doesn't. A child is able to put a spoonful of food in his mouth before he is able to spoon the food out of the bowl first then out it in his mouth. That's development. Should I discourage this???

Claw3 · 11/09/2010 14:49

Lovely, whats the rush?

He would do what you are doing now for him, for himself naturally when he is ready.

blueshoes · 11/09/2010 14:53

I have never been able to make my dcs eat food, spoonfed or forcefed or whatever you want to call it, if they did not want it. Are my one year olds unique in actually having preferences? They can turn their head away.

I don't understand what the big deal is, lovely. Carer holding spoon or baby holding spoon. Splitting hairs really. What is going to happen if your baby was spoonfed and turned his head away.

diddl · 11/09/2010 15:07

But babies have always decided what goes in!!

lovely74 · 11/09/2010 15:11

As I keep saying, I don't have a problem with spoonfeeding, I just chose not to do it myself, see the difference?!
And Claw, if he's not developmentally ready to put a spoon in his mouth, then he wouldn't, but he is, so he does. Spoonfed, finger fed, whatever, it's down to parent choice at the end of the day, and if the nursery can accommodate those choices, then great. If they can't, then they need to discuss it with the parents. Seems reasonable to me?

Claw3 · 11/09/2010 15:17

Lovely, yes sorry you are quite right, you wasnt asking us to comment about your choices. I dont quite get this BLW thing, but that's irrelevant.

If you have asked the nursery to continue what you are doing at home and they have agreed to do it, then you are not being unreasonable to expect them to do so.

Im not sure how you would know whether they have or have not been doing so?

diddl · 11/09/2010 15:29

It is odd that they have said they would & then haven´t.

Maybe it´s been more time consuming than they thought.

I think it would be worth asking what they are doing.

But depending on how many days she is at nursery she´s likely having many more meals with you.

semicolon · 12/09/2010 07:08

BLW therefore really ought to be simply called '"weaning" but I would imagine that there would be an outcry if people who wean with purees were pushed off the mainstream pedestal and forced to qualify what they are doing as "spoon weaning" or "puree weaning".'

It's this sort of attitude that irritates me. It's all just weaning. There is no hierarchy, it isn't political, it's just about getting a baby to eat solid food. How you do it isn't important- finger food or purees, or both - the outcome is the same.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5