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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want bumsex during my lunch hour at work?

133 replies

showery · 07/09/2010 19:58

ok, i am sorry, this isn't about bumsex at all, i just said that to make you all look.

dp and i are having a bit of an argument and i want to know who is right. have namechanged because dp thinks you will take my side otherwise

person A takes the child to school
person B takes the one to nursery

we both need to leave the house at 8.30ish

we both get up at around the same time.

person A gets up, makes their breakfast and sometimes makes breakfast for one or more of the children.
person B gets up makes their breakfast and breakfast for the children if person A hasn't done so (they usually haven't)

person A then goes upstairs and spends around 45 minutes in the bathroom. we have a downstairs toilet which person A refuses to use.
nobody else can use the bathroom to brush teeth/get showered while person A is using it

Person B gets all the children dressed, lunchbox made and self dressed.

this morning person B remarked that if it was a nursery day they wouldn't have enough time to have a shower as person A has spent too long in the bathroom.

Person A asks Person B if they think it's realistic to expect to be able to shower before they go out

what would your response be?

OP posts:
Odysseus · 07/09/2010 20:00

I think I'd be shooting person A?

Original poster
showery · 07/09/2010 20:01

person A sometimes gets up 15-30 minutes before person B

OP posts:
AnnieLobeseder · 07/09/2010 20:02

Who needs 45 minutes to shower in the morning?

If person B needs to spend so long in the shower, I would suggest that they either get up earlier, or shower before breakfast. It's not fair to make everyone late and stressy.

It's also not very reasonable to spend 45 minutes in the bathroom and then question anyone else's expectations of bathroom use.

dittany · 07/09/2010 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
showery · 07/09/2010 20:02

but person B is still always up with plenty of time to dress children, make lunchbox and have a shower (if person A wasn't in the bathroom)

sorry to keep adding things

OP posts:
VirginOnTheRidiculous · 07/09/2010 20:03

What are persons a and b wearing?

And what are their political leanings.

This sort of thing is important to me.

princesspuds · 07/09/2010 20:03

Person A is a bit selfish especially with regards to DC, why feed yourself and sod your DC ??Shock

JorrisBohnson · 07/09/2010 20:04

Your DP/DH Person B should have his bath/shower at night-time and use the downstairs loo if others need to brush teeth/wash faces etc. It's all about communal living and thinking about what works for you as a group not as individuals when it comes to getting up and out on time.

Mowgli1970 · 07/09/2010 20:04

Take flannels and toothbrushes to downstairs bathroom? 45 minutes is a ludicrous amount of time to spend in the bathroom when it's the only one.

BitOfFun · 07/09/2010 20:04

Bathroom-hogger is wrong. Next.

AnnieLobeseder · 07/09/2010 20:04

Sorry, that should be, "if person A needs to spend so long in the shower". Got my people muddled up.

diddl · 07/09/2010 20:04

Why can´t anyone else go in the bathroom when your husband person A is in there?

What is he doing for all that time?

bumpybecky · 07/09/2010 20:05

I'd say yes it is realistic to be showering before going out.

If person A wants to be spending 45 mins in the bathroom in the morning they need to be getting up considerably earlier so as not to cause a problem for everyone else.

We are a family of 6 and regularly manage to have 3 of us showered in the morning in the hour between getting up and leaving. We have one bathroom plus downstairs loo. In that time we've also all had breakfast, done teeth, got dressed and done 4 lunches. It requires co-operation!

colditz · 07/09/2010 20:05

It is realistic to expect to shower if you are going out.

We all know that person A is your husband, BTW

LadyBlaBlah · 07/09/2010 20:06

Person A needs to have a wank another time

JorrisBohnson · 07/09/2010 20:06

I'm confused, who has the shower, A or B? Who asked the question about taking a shower in the morning being unrealistic?

sorrento56 · 07/09/2010 20:06

I think he is person A, you are person B and A is BU. 45 minutes for a shower? Ridiculous.

NormaStanleyFletcher · 07/09/2010 20:07

Good thread title btw Grin

dittany · 07/09/2010 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ethelina · 07/09/2010 20:09

Person B should get herself in the bathroom before person A has a chance to hog it for himself. Person B should then only unlock the door for DCs to go in/out.

specialmagiclady · 07/09/2010 20:10

I vote for toothbrushes and flannels in the downstairs loo (we have 3 toothbrushes each in our house - one in each bathroom and one in a sponge bag for going away as I always forget them).

I am completely lost as to who is A and B but couldn't you just make it a convention that you both wash before breakfast? Wouldn't that help?

LadyBlaBlah · 07/09/2010 20:10

Having a crap???

No way. This is wank time.

spilttheteaagain · 07/09/2010 20:11

Presumably person A is spending 45 mins having a shit on the toilet, hence the annoyance that they won't use the downstairs loo?

V.unfair to hog the shower room when you aren't even using it for that purpose and are in fact, most likely to be making it unusable due to bad smells!

Have I read between the lines correctly??

JosieZ · 07/09/2010 20:12

Person B should spend aaaages in the bathroom at bedtime so that by the time B gets to bed A is asleep and misses opportunity for sex.

Person B can then negotiate shortening bedtime ablutions to suit both parties.

dittany · 07/09/2010 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.