to not want bumsex during my lunch hour at work?

[showery]

ok, i am sorry, this isn't about bumsex at all, i just said that to make you all look.

dp and i are having a bit of an argument and i want to know who is right. have namechanged because dp thinks you will take my side otherwise

person A takes the child to school
person B takes the one to nursery

we both need to leave the house at 8.30ish

we both get up at around the same time.

person A gets up, makes their breakfast and sometimes makes breakfast for one or more of the children.
person B gets up makes their breakfast and breakfast for the children if person A hasn't done so (they usually haven't)

person A then goes upstairs and spends around 45 minutes in the bathroom. we have a downstairs toilet which person A refuses to use.
nobody else can use the bathroom to brush teeth/get showered while person A is using it

Person B gets all the children dressed, lunchbox made and self dressed.

this morning person B remarked that if it was a nursery day they wouldn't have enough time to have a shower as person A has spent too long in the bathroom.

Person A asks Person B if they think it's realistic to expect to be able to shower before they go out

what would your response be?

inertia, your post is exactly how i would love it to be. i would love for us all to eat breakfast together.

i was thinking exactly that this morning whilst various children ran in and out in states of undress while i tried to get them to have breakfast
usually i am feeding the baby in bed when the older 2 come and jump on us. this is why he sometimes gets up a bit earlier, or sometimes if the baby has been up a lot in the night he'll take him downstairs and i'll get a few more minutes in bed

i think both of us are guilty of being a bit "laid-back" in the mornings though. neither of us are morning people and we basically just muddle through trying to get it all sorted.

maybe we need a reward chart each

Who in Gods name wants to shower in a bathroom where a man has just spent half an hour shitting?!

Use the downstairs loo, 'A'. And if it takes that long, you need to be looking up MN's extensive constipation advice. (You can bookmark the 'Piles' threads for future reference )

Very funny thread. I'm going to go against the grain and say, if you're only dropping off at nursery and then coming home it's Not Unreasonable to have your shower later.

Against stereotypes completly - men take waaaaay longer than women in the bathroom in the morning though.

Person A -- I just read your post. In my experience, if you don't get your shower while DH is still home, you might not get one all day. DW needs to shower before she leaves. Don't you? C'mon.

Person A, please stop reading this is for Person B only. Person B, we have a similar issue in our household. My DH takes the computer into the loo to watch movies. I am hurt by this but that's how it is. He has always been this way. Today a new idea dawned on me. I went to Rymans and bought a yellow card and a red card (you know the colored stationary you can buy individually). Next time DH drops anchor, I'm timing him. After half an hour, the yellow card goes under the door. After an hour, the red card.

I don't know what I think I'll accomplish by this, but at least it'll be funny. I get tired of yelling at him through the door, so this is a new approach.

what on earth would anybody be doing in the bathroom for 45 minutes?????? All I can think is that Person A is catching 40 winks in the bathtub.

40 what, sorry?

I have a new routine for you Alphabet family.

*Departure time minus 60 minutes - A makes B Lovely Cup of Coffee

• Minus 55 minutes - B feeds baby and drinks Lovely Cup of Coffee, A takes C and D downstairs and gets breakfast ready *Minus 40 minutes - A, B, C, D and E all eating breakfast Minus 30 minutes - A makes lunches, B has shower Minus 20 minutes - A goes to toilet downstairs, B dresses C, D and E *Minus 10 minutes - A has shower, B makes sure the C and D have everything in order for school and nursery.

If this doesn't work, the regime may start 10-20 minutes earlier for A and B. E might have something to say about that, however.

sorry, bold went a bit funny there, you might want to sort that out before you print it off and laminate it several times to hang up in bedroom, bathroom, downstairs loo and kitchen. :o

I would like to know why your DH won't use the downstairs loo. What is that all about?

person A needs to get a shift on and not hog the bathrooms as he is rather selfsih - 10 minutes tops in this house and if you want to take longer then you must shower or bath the night before and only use bathroom for teeth

Now we live three girl, two adult (one only just and still a teen) we don't use the bathroom for more than 45 minutes between all of us in the mornings.

We get up at different times to also not argue and the person who uses the bathroom longest has to go in last...works a treat

fgs tell us his objection to the downstairs loo!

If the details weren't slightly different I would think that person A was my brother.

20 minutes = in shower, water running
30 minutes shaving!?
who knows how long on the loo, I would rather not know.

Thankfully when I lived in the same house as him we worked completely different shifts otherwise I would have killed him [him]

Person a I am sorry to say I think you are very self-indulgent. Sort your bum out, seriously, or get downstairs.

ok, it is me, i can't be bothered to name-change back again!

his objection to the downstairs loo is that it is cold, dark and smelly.

i disagree with each of these! it isn't, IMO, any colder than any other part of the house. esp not this time of year. it doesn't have a radiator in it, but it does have the airing cupboasrd, and there is a radiator in the hallway opposite the bathroom door

he says it's dark because it's painted pink. i think this must be a man thing. it has a light. the light works. everyone else can see what they're doing

he says it smells because the nappy bucket is in there.
strangely he never had a problem in our previous house where the nappy bucket was in the main toilet.
I can't smell the nappy bucket myself, but maybe he has a better sense of smell?

anyway., he now says that he doesn't "dislike" it, he just prefers the upstairs one and that given the choice that's the one he'll use.
i said it's selfish if he knows other people need to use the bathroom.

Person b should get a portaloo in the back garden then turn it around so door is against the wall when person a is having his ridiculous monumental crap and then crack on with the school and nursery run. Stopping for a paper and bacon butty on the way home. Simples.

put the nappy bucket next to the main loo. Oh and remove the loo roll (although you and the dcs will have to remember to take a supply in for personal use)

Also paint main bathroom pink and leave window wide open/heater off etc.

Send him to Paul's in the morning.

Put nappy bucket in upstairs bathroom!

just make him use the bathroom last

One piece, great minds!

definitely think him using bathroom last is the way to go

we've actually just sat and written a rough routine for mornings which we will trial this week! hopefully will work out ok, and it means we all sit and eat breakfast together

Ah, tremendous thread. DH takes a long time in bathroom/shower, mostly staring into space, afaik, but am v beholden to him atm, so am not going to criticise.