to think this woman is either badly organised or bone idle?

[Rosieeo]

My eldest went back to school yesterday, to reception class. She attended the nursery last year. A woman whose eldest child is in the year above my DC was complaining to us at the gates.

Last year this woman, who has three DC, was consistently late for school. At the earliest running up as the bell went (fair enough) but more often than not 10-15 minutes late. In the end the school gave her a bollocking (they're very hot on timekeeping), wrote to her, had meetings, but it never made a lot of difference.

Yesterday (first day) they were just over 5 minutes late and she said that the teacher had already pulled her up on her timekeeping. She felt that the teacher was out of order and that no one appreciated how difficult it was to get to school for 8.50am with three DC. Her younger ones are about 3 and 1.

I don't have a lot of sympathy, I'm afraid. I know it can be difficult and frustrating getting out of the house in the morning, I honestly do! Plus, I only have two kids. But at the risk of sounding like Miss Smug, I have NO problems getting to school for 8.50am (we're normally up at 6.30/7am) and when I have to be at work we're out the door at 7.45am. That's hard work, but still! This woman lives a ten minute walk from school and doesn't work. I'm not trying to start a SAHM/WOHM debate, just saying that she doesn't then have to get somewhere else.

I didn't say anything, because I don't really know her that well, but AIBU to think that she's either badly organised or bone idle and totally unfair to her son who gets into bother almost every day because of such bad timekeeping?

I always see the same mother and her two kids walking to school when I am walking back. We have a 10 minute window to arrive at school and when ds1 started I had a 2 year old and a new born. Somehow in 5 years we have never been late. What I have always done is plan to be there for 8.45, knowing I still have another 10 minutes. I think some parents plan to get there for the later time but that leaves no time for hold ups.

I don't think it is your place to say anything and if you did I expect you would get a mouthful back.

Maybe you could offer to swap kids for a week and show her how it can be so very easily done when you are not bone idle.

A friend of mine was like this. She lived 5 mins from the school but every day her child missed the first 15 minutes.
She could not be convinced that this mattered at all.
One day she asked me to take him to school and at a few minutes to 9 I switched off the cartoons and pulled his school sweatshirt over his head.
Ys, she was disorganised, but the Disney channel didn't help get him out of the house.
It was the first I knew that other children watch TV before school!

Well it is difficult, but not impossible. A lot of people do it.

My sister has three dc all under 5 and is pregnant and has bad morning sickness. Her dd and ds have never been late for school or nursery.

I have two dc, a dog to walk, a cat to feed and DH who is a plonker and not capable of getting himself ready on a morning without screaming "Shiny get me a towel/cup of tea/find my slippers/where's my shirt/have I any clean socks?" and we manage to get there on time about 95% of the time. The 5% of the time that we are late is my fault for sleeping in/not being organised enough.

So imo YANBU or smug.

well yes,she's one or the other...but theres someone like this in every school.

You're right sorrento, I didn't think I should say anything either, even though she was ranting about the unfairness of it. I don't really know her and I think I'd definitely get verbal bashing!

Why is it unfair ?

You could go late if you want to.

Bone idle is probably a bit strong, but she definitely sounds disorganised. I wouldn't say anything to her though, sounds like the school are on top of it anyway.

I'm sure there is dragonfly! I'm new to this primary malarky.

MrsDoofenshmirt I'd rather not, but I'm sure I could, It's not rocket science.

I do feel sorry for her, because she does care and got upset about it today. Feels persecuted by the teachers, which I don't get.

YANBU.

One of the most important lessons of school is learning to be punctual, organised, considerate of others and responsible. Being consistently late undermines that. I have 3 DC and not only have they always been on time apart from 2 occassions, I have got myself to work afterwards.

They don't always have all their right kit mind you ...but they are on time!

I think she meant it is unfair to the child who is missing out on valuable lesson time and not having a settled start to the day. Also the other children in the class who would be interrupted when this boy comes in late.

FFs there's really no excuse for being late every day. Fair enough if she got it wrong once but then she should adjust her timings. So we always ensure we are ready to leave by 8am, even though we don't leave until 8.20 allowing 20 minutes for error, forgetting bagsm shoes etc. I have had newborns and toddlers and still managed to be early for school nearly every day!!

Too much time on your hands?

This post says a lot more about you than it does the other Mother.

MrsDoofenshmirt, I don't think it's unfair, she thinks that the teachers are unfair for asking her to be on time. Why would I want to go late? :)

It isn't easy - she' right, but some people manage to get it together on all but the occasional disastrous morning, whereas for others, every morning is a crap morning, and there always seems to be some reason or some drama. It's always the same people, isn't it?

Some people are just rubbish in the mornings. Wheras other people (like my friend) are rubbish in the mornings, and disorganised for the whole of the rest of the day, at everything, all of the time. Her youngest has just started secondary school, she doesn't work, and she still can't organise her life or be on time for toffee. I don't know whether to laugh or cry at her really!

It is crappy to be that child because they're embarrassed and have to apologise to the teacher and the class.....and they will be that child who is late.

every day is crazy

at my worst time last year I was late sometimes but not every day and never 10 or 15 mins

more like just as the bell went

It is a matter of getting out of bed with an alarm clock and having a strict routine.
That is all. Occassional lateness due to a bus being cancelled or bad weather or illness is understandable but not consistent lateness.

I know it isn't any of my business, she was talking to me about it. I didn't say anything!

tarty, what does this post say about me? That I value good timekeeping and am not impressed with excuses?

And to those who say it's none of someone's business this is MN where everything, pretty much, is fair game to comment on.

That woman should ensure whatever is going on in the morning that she gets up half an hour earlier and gets shit done.

Well its her lesson to learn. If she gets upset and her kids get upset then she will sort it. It really isn't anything to do with you. I doubt it will effect your childs education a great deal.

I have 3 and always make it on time.

It's simple time management not rocket science

Lateness displays bad manners

YANBU

I know it sounds a bit smug, but if you have to be somewhere, that's the end of it really. As another poster said, what kind of message is this woman passing on to her kids? The poor boy starts every day on a negative :(