Not Really AIBU but amusing twist on old favourite: Disabled/Baby Change Loos

[QueenSconetta]

I know its quite a regular topic here, and I myself have moaned complained whined discussed parents using a disabled toilets with their children.

The other day I was a supermarket in a different town and was quite amused to see all the old ladies going into the baby change room cos it was big enough to fit their trollies in! I did wonder how they got on with using the mini toilet though

One can never win this one me thinks.

Well Riven I am more than happy to be a sissie then; incidentally does 33 years ago count as BDL (before disabled loos) because I just checked with my Mum and she didn't leave me outside the cubicle when she went to the toilet either.
Seriously, that is an entirely different matter and each to their own, but my DS will not be left outside the cubicle while I go to the toilet ever, thank goodness I have excellent bladder and bowel control!

why would it be wrong for using the disabled loo and taking your dd in there with you? i think you are cutting your nose off to spite you face tbh

Vinegar

I have to agree with what another poster said about queues at disabled toilets. Up until recently if we arrived at the disabled loo and it was being used then I would have to go somewhere else - usually home. Ds2 could not cope with waiting.

At the very least I would have had to distract him by walking him around a bit and hoping that someone else hadn't 'popped in' there assuming that if there was no queue then no one needed it.

It was poor old DD I felt sorry for. If we had to go home then it was she who would be disappointed.

i dont think anyone in there right mind who say that you in particular were BU for taking your dd into the disabled loo with you, even if she wasnt using it

"Just because you can choose any toilet doesn't mean you wouldn't take the opportunity to go in the empty disabled toilet."

I think that;s what people are requesting though. If the disabled toilet is the only option for whatever it is someone is doing then of course they will use it. If there is another option then maybe - with an understanding of the problems an occupied disabled toilet might cause others- then they will choose the other toilets.

and Vinny - it wasn't you I was posting to earlier.
Glad you could tell

Disabled people do sometimes take adavntage of their situation (not that I blame them) and they sometimes have an attitude that the world and his wife owes them a favour because they are disabled."

Really? Your evidence for this is??? Or is it just prejudice?

I don't have concrete evidence, just alot of experience. I have alot of friends that are disabled because of two charities that I've worked with.

One guy I knew was a injured in Northern Ireland and paralysed from the waste down. He is a great guy and I like him alot, but I have seen the way he gets staff running around after him in shops, airports restaurants, hotels and they of course cater to his every whim because he is disabled. Getting them to do things he is more than capable of doing for himself. He admits that he sometimes does it for fun just to see how much he can get away with. He has played the poor cripple plenty of times to get himself extra baggage allowance on airplanes that he does not need for any medical reason.

I know another guy (also a wheelchair user) that goes to his local shopping centre that offers mobility scooters, and a person to help you go round and do your shopping. If there is a nice pretty lady there then he will accept the offer of a shopping companion, if he has to go with another man he just gets on and does his shopping himself with out any help from anyone, because he can.

I could probably think of more. I also object to the assumption that I might be predudice against disabled people. I have given up countless weekends and weeks at a time, at my own expense, to give disabled people amazing experiences that they would simply never have if our small charity didn't exist. Through this I have many close friends that are disabled, and I love what I do. It is a true honour and privilege to work withh some of these people. I know all about the challanges that disabled people face and the discrimination that goes on, but I also know that not all disabled people are poor vunlerable souls that deserve (or want) to have the sympathy of the world poured upon them.

I agree, my dd is not a "poor vulnerable soul" sadly she can't play the "poor cripple" as she is so disabled she isn't able too.

That's hardly assuming the world and his wife owes them a living. I've done my best to get extra baggage on planes before because excess baggage costs so blardy much. That's hardly unusual behaviour. I know loads of people who try to get into business or first class every flight. That's just a game.

dd would need to take extra baggage as I assume a lot of disabled people(probably including the man you are talking about) I would also try to get it for free.

No ds1 can't play the disabled card either as he may not know he is disabled.

We're about to have an 'experience' courtesy of a charity - although we're paying and our slot will be half an hour. Always say thank you to the organizers and give good feedback but i'm afraid I don't think of the volunteers as sacrificing themselves and those that are paid - well it's their job. Everyone I know works extra unpaid hours in whatever sector they're in (including me). I've volunteered for disability charities - do it because I want to.

I should have said this was at an airport, she went in to the disable toilet because she did not want to leave her case outside and there was a massive queue for the normal toilets.
She was not in any way disabled as her friend was telling her off for going in to toilet (don't know why she did not leave case with friend and queue with everyone else.

There were two very heathly schoolgirls in the disabled loo in M&S the other week getting changed, some people are just stupid, although over all I park and pee where I want to and think life is too short to get worked up about it all

This is why I have a Radar Key.

But for what its worth, people don't you know what it is like to have a disablitiy that makes a simple bodily function difficult.

You know if your classed as disabled or not, if your not you shouldn't use the disabled toilets.

Oh and due to kidney problems when I need to pee I use the nearest empty toilet, But when there are 10 toilets and one that has wheelchair access I think someone in a wheelchair should be able to use it

still trying to sort out mums radar key

Riven - I am so pleased that you have mentioned changing places. I have written to my MP and various local shopping centres about making more adult changing facilities available. I work with adults who have various different disabilities and I often like to go for days out with them. The issue is that if you set off in the morning, with the plan of being out all day, you either have to have someone sit in the same pad all day (NOT ACCEPTABLE) or try to find appropriate facilities with hoists. I don't think that people should have to go to hospitals/nursing homes etc. They are not ill they just need appropriate provisions!

Another great annoyance, as mentioned by arses is when a key is required for the disabled toilet to be collected from some inconvenient place. When I am supporting males to use the toilet, although we could just about manage in a normal sized toilet cubicle would not be possible as I can't really go into the mens' and men can't go into the womens. I have however gone into the womens' with a man as the disabled has been locked, the gentleman found walking long distances difficult, and the key was a fair walk away.

Ahhhh!!!!!!

Sorry - these things drive me mad.

I always let parents with young children go in front of me in the toilet queues and would probably recognise that your son was in need of skipping the queue saintly, but there are lots of people who have not come across many people with autism who may well just think that he was badly behaved. These same people may be more accommodating if you just ask them. I know it's difficult, especially when you are attempting to keep someone with autism distracted or have to restrain them (I have had to use both of these techniques), but just a quick, loud sentence that you really could do with skipping the queue usually works. Some people will always be twats, but in my experience, most just need to be asked.

Although it can be a little irritating if people who do not have a good reason to are occupying the accessible toilet, I think that the lack of appropriate facilities is a much more pressing issue and we should probably focus our energy more on campaigning for these that arguing about who should use them. Please all write to any place where you have had difficulties.

So the problem is buggies. Take buggies out of the equation and anyone with small kids can go into whatever cubicle. And anyone with a wheelchair can get on the bus.

So don't use buggies. Seems an easy solution to me.

I suspect at least part of the reason that changing facilities for adults are so few and far between relates to the issues with providing a hoist. A hoist needs to be safely or it's a menace and it needs to be maintained and somebody needs to pay for that. Some organisations obviously manage this so it can be done though.

our ceiling hoist are serviced yearly.

I suspect that it wouldn't be worthwhile most shops providing this for the small amount of custom it would generate. After all shops don't provide toilets from the goodness of their hearts, they do it because it brings customers into the shops. It would have to be a council serviced public toilet.