Not Really AIBU but amusing twist on old favourite: Disabled/Baby Change Loos

[QueenSconetta]

I know its quite a regular topic here, and I myself have moaned complained whined discussed parents using a disabled toilets with their children.

The other day I was a supermarket in a different town and was quite amused to see all the old ladies going into the baby change room cos it was big enough to fit their trollies in! I did wonder how they got on with using the mini toilet though

One can never win this one me thinks.

Was actually referring to chochosan s last post

Have to say I agree with peas here... People are getting very precious about potential situations. I have used the disabled loo, I am quick, of course if there was someone in a wheelchair they would have priority. I have never come out to find a disabled person waiting to use the toilet EVER but I posted a couple of weeks ago about someone using a disabled sticker and parking in a disabled spot who was clearly not disabled. She was a carer or something similar. She was in front of me with her friend in a queue at a coffee shop, some MN's jumped on me, said she was proably gettting a sandwich or something similar for a disabled person at home - on no she wasnt, she sat down with her friend for a good old chat. Surely the car should be used when either the disabled person is in it otherwise anyone else could always say 'they were running errards, getting a sandwich etc'. No wonder there is so much abuse of the system and spoils it for others...

'If your NT child soils themselves it is because you are a rubbish parent and didn't plan properly.'

What a stupid and nasty thing to say, Starlight.

Supercherry
Of course there wasn't a queue. Because most people are decent enough to use the normal toilets, reserving the disabled ones for those who need them.

This is the point. If everyone uses the disabled loos then the risk that a disabled person getting caught out or a parent not being able to control their child with SN - that risk rises.

Not that I am saying that I would judge someone who physically could not get a double buggy into the ladies - I would not expect you to leave your babies in the hall of the shopping centre.

I think she'd ben driven to it by the morons on this thread.

Your DH wouldn't take your DD out without you because he didn't want to take her in the toilet???????

I have a 4 year old DD. She is more than capable of leaving the table in a cafe/restaurant, finding the toilet, identifying the ladies, going in, using it, flushing, hand washing and returning to table by herself, and has been able to do so for well over a year.

Before that my DP/FIL/BIL/brother/male friends etc have had ZERO issues taking her into the mens. They often do/did that when I am shock right there and available to take her in the ladies. There has just never been an issue. I am astonished that you would think there is one.

If you have a buggy you can't take in the toilets, either don't take a buggy, loeave it outside, or get a smaller one. What would you do without the disabled facility? You are choosing to take a buggy.

Normality - that's very impressive, for your dd to have been completely independent with going to the toilet in cafes etc from the age of 3. Doesn't she ever have problems reaching the doorhandle/washbasin/toilet paper/taps?

How do you get around not using a double buggy with 2 under 2. I can't just buy another slimmer double buggy, I'm not made of money unfortunately.

Next time I'll just wee myself shall I?

Madness

Sorry about my poor grammar and spelling today- I am frazzled.

Rocky12 - Claw's ds has actually soiled himself because he couldn't get into the disabled loo in time - presumeably because non-disabled people were using it.

For the record, if the changing facilities have been put in the disabled loo, then it parents needing to change their dc should use them - but it is poor provision on the part of the shop/shopping centre/wherever.

Equally, it is poor design if you cannot get your buggy into the ordinary loos, SuperCherry, and having had two under two myself I do see the difficulties.

'Your DH wouldn't take your DD out without you because he didn't want to take her in the toilet???????

I have four boys; had I taken that attitude to gender and toilet issues we'd have had a very limited past deacde indeed!

Unusual.

Super - On this thread all reasons given for using the disabled toilet, have been the "why shouldnt i" variety, not "it was impossible for me to use the other toilets".

If it was impossible for you to use the other toilets, no one would want to see you wet yourself. Perhaps you should complain about the lack of facilities available to you, as disabled people have done for years to get the use of toilets which were possible for them to use.

Jodiesmummy, peasinapod to name a few, your attitude is truly AWFUL.

You should read back your posts.

Where is your empathy and understanding ???

Claw3- I think most people would be OK in my situation. I did have a bit of a mutter to one of the cleaners about not being able to get through the normal toilet doors with my buggy.

My buggy was supposed to be the width of a standard door and the same width as a wheelchair. It made me realise all the places people in wheelchairs couldn't get either.

Lots of shops are really difficult to get around without dragging loads of clothes along with me or them draping all over the boys' heads.

'Not that I am saying that I would judge someone who physically could not get a double buggy into the ladies - I would not expect you to leave your babies in the hall of the shopping centre.' Absolutely: just becuase I have a couple fo SN kids does not mean I have no empathy.

And if I see you elave a disabled loo I will assume you have an invisible SN.

The whole rights and responsibilities ethos then would suggest that you (a random you, meaning other) choose to use the disabled loo only when absolutely necessary.

As indeed many of us Sn famillies probably do; I happily took ds3 into a non disabled toilet earlier as it was quiet, why wouldn't I? Easy to elave his door open then.

And if you would wet withouta ccess to a loo then use the disabled opne; that comes under SN in my personal opinion. As does severe morning sickness, SPD,...... it's not like DLA, you don't need 37 assessments and a 32 month minimum tour of duty to get the right!

And if we all use them only when absolutely necessary then it will be OK won't it?

Super- when I had 2 under 2 (and indeed 3 under 4) I did use a double buggy at times but also on others sling and single.

That stage passes quickly though; they grow up too fast.

Oh and WRT to actually sopiling themselves- that alsmot happened with ds1 at the glasto Extravaganza a few years back: massive queue and back then eh ahd urge incontinence. DH triesd to ehad to Disabled, a security guard blocked his way. 'This is disabled only, Sir'

'He has ASD'

'That's nice Sir '

Now, Dh pushed past just in time (DS1 was 8- could you imagine for the poor lad? Would have been hours before we could have got him properly cleaned up) but he only dared as we knew the Head of Security.

Makes you wonder how many idiot jobsworths think they can assess need through a glimpse.

StayingDavid, I have no idea whether the person in the toilet was disabled or not. Certainly not a visual disability that i could see (frequently school girls, doing hair and make up). As i said myself to look at ds, you wouldnt know that he had a disability, so disabilities can be hidden. So i wouldnt like to assume they didnt have a disability.

But the point being, if they were not disabled and were using the toilet, it could have been avoided.

Even more frequently ds hasnt been able to hold it and i need to get into the disabled toilet to strip him off, clean him up and change his clothes and the toilets have been in use. I have had to struggle in the ladies cubicles, with ds almost 7 years old standing up, holding onto the walls, with wet wipes and no water available in the cubicle.

I have had to stop shopping at my local supermarket, which is next to a school.

loving SMA's posts on this thread
I want the government to appoint her Special Advisor On Disabled Toilets And Social Responsibility (at a huge salary, of course.)

Thanks Sanctimoanyarse. My bladder isn't what it used to be- I need to do more Kiegels (or whatever they are called).

I have used a sling and single but found that really difficult. My single buggy has a mind of it's own and is really difficult to push. I found it would really ache my back when pushing it with baby in sling so would use double for shopping.

To be honest I've given up shopping for fun full stop now (my toddler is not a shopping fan) so I won't be taking up the disabled loos anymore.

I don't think able bodied people should use disable loos unless absolutley unavoidable.

(I was looking at an MA in social diversity but going straight for work training instead LOL, am a PC Peachy atm )

Sorry Starlight, I'm clearly not as inventive as you when put on the spot needing a wee when my buggy wouldn't fit throgh the door to the normal loos. I wouldn't leave my babies with strangers.

I used one of three empty disabled loos- no harm done. :)