Not Really AIBU but amusing twist on old favourite: Disabled/Baby Change Loos

[QueenSconetta]

I know its quite a regular topic here, and I myself have moaned complained whined discussed parents using a disabled toilets with their children.

The other day I was a supermarket in a different town and was quite amused to see all the old ladies going into the baby change room cos it was big enough to fit their trollies in! I did wonder how they got on with using the mini toilet though

One can never win this one me thinks.

Both Claw3 - can be quite a busy hall at times and when public events are on it can get ridiculous with long queues at the single ladies loo and a great big disabled one standing empty. We tend to stick a note on the door at times like this encouraging people to make use of all 3 toilets.

Lily, why cant a dad take his young dd into the mens toilet?

Lily, Family loos are becoming more common.

Here in Stroud, the local authority has recently refurbished it's town centre ones and now has "9 individual cubicles providing 3 ladies toilets, a unisex toilet, a male toilet, a urinal room, a family room and a disabled toilet".

Our local museum also has a family loo. It can be done!

Well - dh wouldn't because he felt incredibly uncomfortable about it - he says that mens toilets are always disgustingly dirty, and that the other men would be embarrassed by a girl coming in while they're weeing in the urinals. And he didn't think it appropriate for a little girl to see lots of men weeing. And I would bet he is not alone in that - you may say 'oh fgs' but I can understand it, and it was certainly enough for him not to want to take dd out on his own between her being out of nappies, and able to go to the toilet on her own, unless he knew there was a unisex family toilet available.

It is different to taking a young boy into the ladies, where everyone is in cubicles and has privacy. And a lot of it was simply the cleanliness - I've never been in a men's toilet so don't know, but dh says they are horrible.

Greenshadow - exactly, it can be done! And it would solve all the problems listed here - buggies could go in with no problem, fathers as well as mothers could take their children in, babies could be changed, and the disabled toilet would as a result be left available for people who really need it.

What is it that you all find so difficult to understand? People using a disabled loo that is unoccupied are simply taking advantage of a service that is provided, to make using a public toilet possible for disabled people, they are not taking anything away from disabled people. It is only in hypothetical situations where disabled people stand shitting themselves outside toilets that this is a problem. Nobody on here has actually said this has happened to them- they are all imaginary scenarios. Only once, ever, have I been in a disabled toilet and come out to find someone waiting who was disabled, and that doesn't mean she was shitting her pants- all the other times there has been mums and buggies waiting. Honestly, some peoples sense of proportion and reality is severely distorted.
jodiesmum I think you put it well but you are on a losing battle here- Those that have a child with a disability are always going to try to make you feel guilty for having a NT child (I hate that term). There are some really not nice people on here that would rather a small child soil themselves to keep the facilities available for a hypothetical incontinent person. MAD!

Green - i was thinking along the line of a company having disabled toilets, but no one with a disability working there, hence it would then seem pointless not to use the toilet.

Years ago i worked for a company that had a disabled toilet, but upstairs with no lift, so didnt fully met the requirements and was rarely used.

Thanks Pag. :) (For saying you agree with me.. just got back to this thread now. ) I was not sure, because I was not entirely sure i was expressing myself well.

I got distracted by that 'other' thread. :(

Peasinpod, it HAS happened to my ds and often.

You are taking advantage of a facility which is not intended for you. Why would you want to use disabled facilities?

Would you use a disability scooter, a wheelchair or wear an incontinence pad?

I wouldn't think there was anything objectionable about using a disabled loo if there was a queue for the others, and noone else around. I would of course expect a disabled user to have priority of use over everyone else. I dont think it makes sense to not make use of an empty facility...what a waste, especially as disabled facilities are used relatively infrequently.

Having said that, I expect that if there were a common policy that such facilities were just for the 'priority' use of the disabled, it would probably soon become a free-for-all, and people would pretend they hadn't noticed someone in need, or of course, be unable to identify the person who needed to use it.

peasinpod don't want to shock you, but many people who have a child with sn, also have at least one nt child too.

Chocho, how would you know if a disabled person was waiting, if you are in the disabled toilet?

Exactly ChoCho, if it is seen as the done thing rather than the exception it will indeed be a free for all.

I don't feel guilty that I have NT children, nor have I ever been made to feel guilty by a poster with an SN child.

I have frequently felt very grateful that my children are healthy but that is different.

And ChoChou, that is the point that I have been making throughout this thread. If everyone thinks that using a disabled loo is fine, then it will never be empty.

Starlight, if you read what I'd written you'd see that I said that this was a problem dh encountered with dd due to a lack of family toilets, and his solution was NOT TO GO OUT WITH HER WITHOUT ME. At no point did I say he should have used or did use a disabled toilet. However, it is a problem that exists, and I expect some dads solve it by using the disabled. So a family facility would remove this problem from the equation.

I'm another poster with hidden disabilities that mean I can walk, but still often need the disabled loo.

Only 8% of disabled people are wheelchair users.

Oh I am sorry starlight I am such a rubbish parent- my dd wet her knickers once or twice- I never knew it was my parenting, I should have been able to read her three year old mind and know she would need the toilet in just 2 minutes and we were three away from a toilet. It's lucky where I live as there is a disabled toilet in one of the shops which also has a buggy on the door. I am glad there is never a queue outside of people who have all shit themselves like there is where some of you live.

I would open the door and they would be there I expect.

As I said, if I were in that situation I would have a look around to see if anyone was approaching, and if not, maybe nip in to use the loo, conscious to be quick.

I think it would be extremely unlikely that in that extremely short space of time someone would appear not only in need of the disabled facilities, but unable to contain themself for a minute, in the great scheme of things.

And if I came out of the loo and saw that someone had been unable to contain themselves, of course I would feel bad, but I just think that that is a wuite unlikely set of hypotheticals in comparison to the number of times people stand bursting/bleeding/having the shits outside non-disbaled loos when they feel they 'shouldn't' use empty facilities.

I am not heartless, ignorant or uncaring , I just very genuinely see it that way.

Fucking hell peasinapod I've no idea if you're a rubbish parent but you're certainly thick!
You just don't get it do you?

As ChouChou pointed out above "I expect that if there were a common policy that such facilities were just for the 'priority' use of the disabled, it would probably soon become a free-for-all, and people would pretend they hadn't noticed someone in need, or of course, be unable to identify the person who needed to use it" - exactly!

What is your problem? Having a small child is not a fucking disability!

Agree what CHOCHOSAN said.

Thank fuck for that, she started off talking rubbish but eventually saw the light too.
Well done!

With my double buggy I had no choice but to use the disabled toilets at a certain shopping mall. I couldn't get the buggy through the entrance to the normal toilets. I also prefer to keep the children in sight. I couldn't safely take them out the buggy and manage to use a toilet in a normal cubicle at the same time either.

Would this really annoy anyone- it would be obvious to a wheelchair user why I needed to use the toilets provided for them. I can't really see anyone minding. There wasn't a cue or anything.