Not Really AIBU but amusing twist on old favourite: Disabled/Baby Change Loos

[QueenSconetta]

I know its quite a regular topic here, and I myself have moaned complained whined discussed parents using a disabled toilets with their children.

The other day I was a supermarket in a different town and was quite amused to see all the old ladies going into the baby change room cos it was big enough to fit their trollies in! I did wonder how they got on with using the mini toilet though

One can never win this one me thinks.

If there was another disabled person using the toilet then that would be an unavoidable coincidence.

If a person is using because they cannot be bothered to queue it is avoidable.

please can we not suggest people like that spend time with disabled people, I would prefer that my dd does not have to put up with people like that thanks

Yes they are lucky they have only prams to struggle with and if there was no alternative I am sure they would carry on struggling. But struggle for no reason when an accessible toilet is available is stupid, and taking it too far. Why should people be made to feel guilty for not have a disability? Feeling lucky and having sympathy is one thing, but some people on this thread seem to want more than that.

Its even worse if my sn 16 year old ds is with me and i'm on my own with him think about it before you speak.

We have had a problem while on holiday in Wales last week with disabled toilets.

My mum used one and she was WALKING which in some peoples eyes means shes not disabled.

My mum has Multiple Sclerosis, has a blue badge and a radar key for disabled toilets.

When she came out of the toilets there was a woman with her elderly parents (the mum in a wheelchair) who absolutely laid into my mum for using them as she can walk (she does have a wheelchair and a stick.)

I was absolutely livid, my mum had a little card to carry round to justify herself which she really shouldnt have to about how sometimes with MS it is hard to control your bladder and the queue for the 'normal' toilets was huge.

The people having a go at mum wouldnt have been able to use the disabled toilets if my mum hadnt held open the door for them as they didn't have a radar key.

Wish people weren't so judgey or would people rather my mum just used her wheelchair all the time

Peasinpod, they are intended to be accessible to DISABLED PEOPLE, not pushchairs, not to avoid queues.

They were built for the purpose of disabled people, because disabled people have greater needs than a lady with a pushchair, or someone having to queue.

Accessible toilets ARE NOT INTENDED TO MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER.

Borderslass- what happens if a disabled person is already in there whilst another disabled person needs it? They still have to wait. Nobody can reserve toilets for their own private use, disabled or not.

2shoes- I don't agree that you should need a key or be fined as a lot of people need disabled toilets for medical reasons that wouldn't necessarily qualify for say a blue badge. Some disabilities are temporary i.e post operative. Others are invisible i.e IBS, colostomies, mental or emotional disorders. I used disabled toilets when I had miscarriages and I needed privacy and mopping space.

I do use a deserted disabled toilet when I am with both my children unless my DH is with us, in which case, we all use normal toilets. If anyone queued behind me, wheelchair or not, I let them go before me. I would assume they have a private medical reason that's none of my business. I am using the disabled toilet to keep an eye on both my children (not because of paedophiles) so if its free and empty, and having looked round, I don't seem to be inconveniencing anyone, I will pop in for four to five minutes.

I don't have clairvoyancy skills so I would prefer to avoid peeing in the ladies with the door open whilst talking to both my sons (9 mo cries when he can't see me)on the off chance that someone might have needed the empty disabled toilet next door in the next four minutes. I know I don't have priority and I don't behave as if I do. This does not make me intolerant or unsympathetic to others less lucky than I am.

If there were "family" toilets for people like me, I would never use a disabled toilet.

Riven- I absolutely agree that more adult disabled toilets should be available and will happily join your cause. I had no idea of what a problem it is. There but for the grace of God.

My cousin is in a wheel chair with advanced motor neurone disease and I have two friends whose children are full time wheel chair users (when they are out). All of them think it's ridiculous to make children, pregnant women etc wait if the toilet designated for 'their' use is free. All are also parents of non wheel chair using children too and say they would always let the other siblings use the disabled toilet too.

I have used them but in shops/restaurants I have been too the baby changing stuff is in there too so agree the signage could be altered. I used to be a waitress and we had an accessible toilet. In the six months I worked there (on shifts so not the complete picture) we probably had about 2 wheel chair users a week. I didn't question or make assumptions about the less obviously compromised people who chose to use the toilet but there weren't many. Sometimes an anxious parent with a desperate kid would ask if it was OK and we always said yes. Otherwise the facility was basically unused. I think there should be accessibility for all of us whatever the reason. A pushchair and potty training toddler, my mum with Alzheimers, someone embarrassed by her stress incontinence, my mate's kid with cerebral palsy, someone who'e just been struck with food poisoning. Don't understand people who make such rapid judgments. Go and read To Kill a Mockingbird and think about what you say.

I KNOW! But it is a nice bi-product and others should be able to take advantage of it too. As I said said earlier it is silly to struggle just for sake sake of taking the the moral high ground (although I would feel fantastic about myself and be able to judge others endlessly thereafter with my saintly attitude) when there is nobody needing the toilet.

Sorry-x posted. Was aimed at Claw

Somtimes...if you have more than one young child with you and you cant ALL fit into one small cubicle it is easier to herd eveyone into these larger toilets....

And even now that my kids are older and the if other toilets are busy...rather than take up 3 cubicles I would sooner use the other facility as long as there wasnt someone queing (obviously)

Hope Ive explained that properly

My goodness I've just come back to look at this thread and I'm truly amazed.

I had no idea this was a "hot potato" at all and as I said below I use disabled toilets.

I've used them for years when the occasion arises...long queues in main loo mainly but I can think of some other reasons also. I would also say that almost 100% of the time I've used them when I've come out there's been nobody waiting to get in. Infact only on occasion EVER has there been one obviously disabled person waiting to get in.

IF I had been queuing to get in to the disabled toilet and somebody disabled had come along OR if somebody had said they needed to get in before me then of course I would have waved them in. Same as if I was in the regular loo (in a queue) and somebody needed to get in before me.

People need to start thinking about other people rather than just doing what they think is expected of them. Disabled toilets are made so that disabled persons are able to use them but there seems to be a lot of people on this forum who are completely blinkered (and probably just jealous that they wait in a long queue while smarter people just nip into the disabled toilet)

But its not a nice bi-product if disabled people are having to wait, while non-disabled people use the toilet.

The 'oh im only using it for a few minutes' excuse, is no excuse, you dont need to use it.

I wouldnt call people who do not unnecessarily use a disabled toilet 'saintly', just that they are showing some respect and understanding towards another human being.

God lord!! is this still going on?

Stoppingattwo - its not just the "other" facility though, ITS A DISABLED LOO!!!

Maybe they need to work at making the ordinary loos at least reasonably accessible, even if they don't have all the facilities/size that a disabled one would have.

I try to avoid disabled loos even though there have been times that I have had real problems getting to a toilet in time (with IBS), because of such negative reaactions I've had from people when coming out when I have no visible disabilities.

At the moment, it's not a problem (it comes and goes). But, I was still told to use the disabled loos in the coffee shop, and it's happened on a few occasions. The loos in places like Starbucks are often up or down really tight, narrow staircases. I've had luggage with me, and simply would not have been able to get it up or down the stairs, nor in the cubicles. I asked if I could leave it somewhere, or asked if someone else would keep an eye on it for me, and have always been told 'no' - no unattended luggage allowed, full stop. I was told that I had to use the disabled loo and take my luggage with me, if I wanted to use the loo at all.

I didn't need the extra space or facilities of the disabled loo, and I certainly didn't mind queueing; I'm even happy to have dragged the luggage along with me and up and down a sensible number of stairs; all I needed was a loo without tons of very narrow stairs, and of a size that I could have opened the door with luggage - it was one of those double doors, where there was just no way that I'd have fit.

But the staff didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with telling me to use the disabled loo, and I don't know what I could have said to convince them that unattended luggage would have been better.

Moos - People do need to start thinking about other people, people whose needs are greater than theirs.

just out of interest, do the parents on here who can't use a "normal" toilet as they might have to take their eyes of their kiddies for a moment,
what do you do the rest of the time, how do you try on clothes, , get petrol, you know anything that you might have to take your eyes of them for a minute or too

Oh FFS if there is no queue what is the problem! Too many people are precious about disabled facilities - disabled people are NOT exempt from queueing and they do not have a golden ticket to premium facilities!

The problem is these facilities should be readily available and accessible to disabled people.

readily = without delay; quickly, without difficulty; easily.

Being a fucking idiot does not qualify as a disability.

Amazed at the sense of entitlement of some people, to something they are NOT entitled to.

I think the sense of entitlement comes with a blue badge.

A sense of entitlement to something that you are entitled to Fucking disgrace eh!

Yeah, fine you are entitled to it...but would you really have a HUGE strop if a harassed mum with multiple tots nipped in the disabled loo? Come on, people are we that uptight? Its a childish childish thread and this sort of attitude does nothing for the cause of people with disabilities. Who I have every sympathy for. But you can be disabled, entitled and still a twat who is up their own spacious U-Bend.

Jodiesmummy Did anyone say that disabled people are exempt from queueing? nope i dont believe they did!! what the did say it that a disabled person should not have to wait for incompetent parents who dont know how to organise a toilet trip with a child!!

If you are not disabled or the carer of a disabled person, you do not use a disabled toilet! tis not rocket science!!

Oh and premium facilites?? pmsl!! are it your for real?............ it just a toilet!!!!