Not Really AIBU but amusing twist on old favourite: Disabled/Baby Change Loos

[QueenSconetta]

I know its quite a regular topic here, and I myself have moaned complained whined discussed parents using a disabled toilets with their children.

The other day I was a supermarket in a different town and was quite amused to see all the old ladies going into the baby change room cos it was big enough to fit their trollies in! I did wonder how they got on with using the mini toilet though

One can never win this one me thinks.

LOL at restful DS. I know what you mean

Sorry pag, not clear here. Are you agreeing with me or lecturing me? I thought we were saying the say thing!

genuine question, not a fighty one, promise!

We have a neighbour who honestly and seriously BEGRUDGES disabled people disabled car parking spaces.... words fail me.

When i read this thread my heart sank ....

My dd2 has a brain tumour, she has a gastrostomy, she is very visually impaired, although from a far she may not 'look' disabled.

We use disabled loos, because she has a huge cyst, next to her tumour which fills all the time causing her to have stroke like symptons to the right side of her body, i.e. her hand and arm wont work properly. So she needs me to go in with her to wipe her bum, or undo her trousers and do the buttom back up and keep her steady so she doesnt fall over.

I am NOT ever going to justify why i am in there - how humiliating for her, isnt it enough that at 11 she still needs me to do this.

She has just started at secondary school this week and already kids are starting to say things.

It is the children of the parents on here, with these non caring or understanding attitudes, who look and stare and laugh and make comments.

It has to be, my children dont, they have grown up with it, they accept difference as normal. they may look, kids do, but they have seen so many different children, it is almost normal.

I read through this and thought - where is there compassion and tolerance and have decided unless you have been faced with this, you just dont get it.

Even if you may have worked with, are friends with or any other contact with disablilty.

Unless it has ACTUALLY affected you day today.

It is sad and worries me for my daughters future !

Accessible toilets have very specific LEGAL requirements under the DDA FOR DISABLED PEOPLE and should be readily available and accessible to disabled people.

Amazing that people without a disability think they should be readily available and accessible to them too.

Im sure if it were not a LEGAL requirement for disabled parking, people would be saying the same thing "i parked there, because it wasnt being used"

If it is not legally forbidden, then we are free to do what we want, even if it puts others at a disadvantage, or causes them discomfort or distress?

Where is the empathy for those who are not as fortunate as ourselves?

I am glad there are some normal people on this thread like Mooos-

All these I am more holy than you attitudes are very waring and those with disabilities that expect disabled toilets to stand empty while the queue snakes out of the ladies and down the corridor and women struggle with babies and toddlers in pushchairs just in case they may arrive at any minute is pathetic.

Perhaps disabled toilets should be renamed "those who cant be bothered to queue".

The toilets are designed and purpose built for DISABLED PEOPLE, because they CANNOT USE the 'normal' toilets.

I think some of you need a major attitude adjustment and to show some respect.

Yes

the one time I have used a disabled loo was at the british museum. They have a baby change/feeding room, with a sink but no loo. The ladies/gents toilets are down two flights of stairs with no where to leave anything at the top.

I was out for the first time in london with DD aged about a month in a pram and I was desperate to pee and very flustered and on my own, the disabled loo is next to the baby change room and was empty, I went in, was as quick as I could possibly be and came straight out again.

From then on I used a sling, so peed with DD on my lap essentially.

I've changed her all over the place - stick a terry towel on the floor and we're away

Starting to have a few problems with normal cubicles now - I'm heavily pg so really need to pee NOW sometimes, DD is 3 and so not to be trusted to be left outside the cubicle alone and the two of us barely fit in some cubicles we come across! we just about manage though.

Slings make life with a baby SO much easier.

Not read all the thread but I use them when I've got ds with me as even at 16 he's really vulnerable.
I also from time to time use them myself as I have IBS and when an episode of it comes on I can't wait, however often I can't leave the house when I'm ill with it.
Please remember not all disabilities/illnesses are visible.

The toilets are accessible toilets for those who would struggle in the main toilet.

They are not reserved exclusively for their use.

Other toilets are provided in addition of the accessible toilet to avoid queues and save space because if every toilet was as large as the accessible one there wouldn't be enough space to provide the number required to keep the queues down.

And I don't feel to the need to show respect to a toilet- if there's nobody there there's nobody to respect.

Peasinpod, the toilets are accessible because of the Disability Discrimination Act.

imo all disabled toilets should have a special key that can only be obtained if you are actually disabled(or have a medical condition)

it should be illegal to sell or fragrantly use these keys, and anyone using the facilities without one should be fined.

Yes, I know that but it doesn't make them exclusively for disabled people does it? It means that disabled people can use the toilet where as otherwise they wouldn't be able to.

The toilets are designed specifically to meet the needs of people with disabilities.

Not to avoid queues.

Your attitude that disabled people are pathetic for wanting these toilets to be readily available to them, shows a total lack of respect. That is exactly what these toilets were built for.

No- I didn't say say that! I said they were pathetic for expecting others to struggle with prams and pushchairs and queue in a long queue while the disabled toilet remains empty when there is nobody disabled needing it.

So what happens if a disabled person or someone with a medical condition comes in whilst the mother with a pram is using it you never know when it's needed.
There have been times when I am crippled with pain because as I said I'm not always able to wait it can also be very embarrassing for me.

peasinpod Tue 07-Sep-10 11:08:38
No- I didn't say say that! I said they were pathetic for expecting others to struggle with prams and pushchairs and queue in a long queue while the disabled toilet remains empty when there is nobody disabled needing it

what a charmer!!

Peasinapod
Show some compassion and empathy ffs.

Those struggling with buggies and toddlers are fucking lucky that that is all they have to struggle with.

Sorry for swearing but that takes the biscuit.

They will have to wait! I doubt she will be in there more than a couple of minutes and what if another disabled person was using the toilet, you would have to wait then, there could even be queue of disabled people. What would you do? Surely you can't go through life expecting a public toilet to always be vacant the minute you need it.

It's the same with lots of things. When potty training a child it is almost impossible for them to hold on for more than a minute- you try to get them to the toilet in time and use the nearest. As if you would say to them, "oh no you can't go in that one there might be a disabled person along in a minute- you will have to wait" while they wet their pants.

Peasinpod, there is no Law that says these toilets cannot be used by anyone.

But there were built specifically to meet the needs of disabled people. For the use of disabled people

If you choose to use the toilets for anything other than its intended purpose, its a moral choice, not a legal one.

Some of us obviously have higher moral standards, than others.

Peas
Why don't you volunteer to go out with a grouo of people with disabilities so that you can learn what it means to struggle with the basic tasks that we take for granted.

Getting on and off a bus, finding a toilet, nipping upstairs in Boots to get nappies, going for coffee, visiting a museum. All very easy when you do not have to plan your day like a military operation around things like accessibility.

Peasinpod,I just hope that you never ever have to suffer the humiliation of an adult messing their pants its a bit different than a toddler.
You must be lovely to know.