Not Really AIBU but amusing twist on old favourite: Disabled/Baby Change Loos

[QueenSconetta]

I know its quite a regular topic here, and I myself have moaned complained whined discussed parents using a disabled toilets with their children.

The other day I was a supermarket in a different town and was quite amused to see all the old ladies going into the baby change room cos it was big enough to fit their trollies in! I did wonder how they got on with using the mini toilet though

One can never win this one me thinks.

I use the disabled loos.

And its noone business why.

My step-dad is disabled and does not have an issued generally with kids/babies/parents using the disbaled loo. BUT he has found that as babies take a while to change he can be left waiting outside the only disabled loo for a while, and the fact he is disabled means he can't really 'hang on' like most of us.

That said he can be in the loo for a while as it takes while for him to get from the loo to the wheelchair and back again.

So in theory as there are not many disabled people he should not have to wait and get to the loo as and when he needs, but also fully appreciates that prams can't fit in normal loos. But it does piss him off if it is just walking kids and parents using the loo.

The whole world needs to be a sensible and caring as John Lewis loos, parent and child loos, disabled loos and baby change, but alas the world is not like that, so consideration is all that's needed.

People can be gobby and thick, my Mum drives my step dad who is disabled to the hospital for weekly treatment and they park in a disabled space.

She has got out of the car several times and before she has reached the back of the car to get out the wheelchair she has been yelled at as she is quite clearly not disabled.

BUT they need to parj in the space so my mum get get the car door open fully to get the wheelchair next to the car so my step dad can transfer across. Impossible to do in a normal space.

So dipshits out there, listen!

lilyBolero that is what we have in our shopping centres - one just down the road from us - two large toilet areas with just that

family changing/toilet room - lovely areas for feeding babies, a number of change mats, facilities to warm milk, unisex family toilet.

Then disabled toilet

then regular ladies which also includes a larger toilet which is labelled as stroller friendly and one which is larger and has rails for someone who may have a small walker and need room for walker and rails for stability (ambulant toilet).

THen the gents - never having been in the gents can't comment if there is a stroller friendly toilet and an ambulant one though.

Both toilet areas have these facilities.

Riven If you and DD needed the loo at the same time though, surely you wouldn't take her to the disabled loo and then you go to the ladies loo? Wouldn't you just go with her in the disabled loo?

What do you think about people using them with bladder, bowel, gynae problems that mean they can't queue or need to use the sink to wash up?

Or say an autistic person using them because they are unable to queue or don't like the noisy of hand driers or crowded places?

Some of you posters on here seem pretty obsessive about following "rules" and I think some of you need to get a life.

If a toilet is vacant but says "disabled" ffs use it and don't be like all the other sheep and queue up for a busy one. I had no idea women could get themselves worked up about this.

Do you really think an establishment puts a "disabled" toilet there waiting for maybe one (or none disabled people per day) customer??

They are there because it's a legal requirement to provide facilities for non able bodies persons - and quite rightly too.

I think I saw some of you when I was skiing in France last year....about 10 of you were queuing outside a "ladies" loo and next door was an empty "men's" toilet. Only myself and the French women used the men's one.

Tallwivglasses
Some of the non SN-board MNetters do understand and support your concerns. I am sure for those who post there are other lurkers out there nodding their heads in agreement.

Tbh, it is not something I would have given much thought to before I started MNetting, now thanks to the work of Riven, 2Shoes and others I have a better understanding of how hard you guys fight to get the appropriate treatment, practical help and respect that your DC are due.

So even if it is disheartening sometimes, I hope you will all go on posting and educating us, and though us our children.

Yes I am obsessive about following rules - my own moral rules. And I have a life - a life where I don't swan around thinking "me me me me" but actually give some thought to those around me. I think a lot of people have forgotten that for society to work in a remotely pleasant way, people need to actively look out for others, not just wait until someone with a need is plonked in front of them and then react, grudgingly or graciously according to their personality and views. It's like when travelling on a busy train. If I am sitting in a seat near the door and people are coming and going near me, I periodically glance up to see if anyone really needs the seat (pregnant, elderly, disabled). Some people on this thread would probably think this is exaggerated or that I am some kind of martyr but I think it is a pretty normal way to behave, having been pregnant and commuting, and having been on crutches and commuting. I have seen other people obviously doing the same thing as well.
If everyone had a bit of thought for those around them, this argument wouldn't come up so often as people would assume that someone using the disabled loos was doing so in an eemergency, rather than assuming it was just another "the world revolves around me" person.
Tallwivglasses - I agree with you totally. Having spent periods of my childhood in a wheelchair (12 operations to correct a badly deformed club foot) and having vivid memories of my mum and gran struggling to get me in and out of a car or into toilet cubicles or onto the bus, I have an inkling of what it must be like for every day to be just that little bit more difficult than it has to be. I also remember a particularly horrific period when my grandfather was crushed between his ship and the pilot boat at his merchant navy retirement ceremony and was in a wheelchair for 4 years - this coincided with some of my more serious operations, so my grandmother and mother were trying to manage two disabled family members. At one point we were both on walking frames.
If they had been trying to get one of us to the toilet and it had been occupied, it could easily have been one of those tiny little last straws that made them both sit down and cry.

I just do not understand the OP at all on this one. I use the disabled loos right now because that is usually the one that can;

1. Fit the buggy
2. Has the baby change thing in it.

No doubt the thread has moved on though.

Anyabana
Yes, the thread has moved on and of course if the disabled loo doubles as a baby changing then it is fine to use it. I don't think it is ideal planning though.

I still don't get why people make a fuss about leaving their dc for the one minute that it takes to have a quick pee.

I only ever use it if the baby needs to be changed.... because sometimes you CANNOT simply go home to do it.... especially for me where i have to travel quite a way to get to the shops as we live in a really remote area. I think that if the only baby change place is also the only disabled place, then that is a major problem on the part of planning/shops/councils whatever, but do understand that space is always at a premium on this little island.

Mind you... I have also been known to use the men's loos... albeit in Vienna where I thought that 'herren' meant 'for her'.

It is ridiculous to suggest that there is only one disabled toilet in a town. Maybe where you live- but off the top of my head I can think of quite a few in our town. M&S have one which is even labeled with a dual sign for parents and buggies. There is also one in

Sainsburys
By the bus station
In Costa coffee
In cafe Nero
Tesco
Macdonalds

In fact some shops which only provide one toilet make it an accessible toilet- intended for all to use.

Lol at using the Gents in Vienna. Did anyone see you?

Yes they certainly did, MmeLindt. In fact, I did it over a period of a few days, and was really most astonished at all the wierdy men who kept coming into the loos.

Can you tell i do not speak German?

And frequently in M&S when they are cleaning the toilets they are closed for 20minutes with a sign saying so.

Should I not use the disabled toilet standing empty when my small dd declares "mummy I need a wee now?"

Well I am afraid I go in the disabled toilet and do not feel bad about it.

I think that if the baby change is in the disabled loo, then it rather implies that it is dual purpose.

Saying this, CLEARLY anyone should give way to a disabled user as and when required.

I had no idea people got so upset about these things, tbh. MN is an education, and has certainly made me think.

Thank heaven for Mooos.
I can't imagine anyone would not give way to a person who had a specific need to use a 'accessible toilet' but mostly they're not in constant use and are not exclusive in the same way as a disabled carpark space is: legally, you have to provide evidence on your car etc that you are qualified to use that space. Not so with a toilet-user, thank heaven.

If anyone needs the loo and that is the one available and no other and there is no indication of anyone waiting, then it can be used by anyone, I would suggest.

Fizzywine

It actually isn'tthat difficult.
If people just use common sense and operate on the basis that if they can wait it isn't a tradedy but if they have a pressing need then most people would regard that as reasonable and not have a problem.
The trouble is that some want to get all indignant and assert that they can use a diasbled loo if they want to and any disabled people getting uptight about that are just being uppity.

To be honest I always think that if you are happy, content with your lot and a nice person then you have a desire to let the world work as well as it can for everyone - especially those who may struggle a bit more than you.If I am in a queue and an elderly person comes in, or a mum with a fidgity toddler then I let them go first. Life is good, I am pretty lucky - why wouldn't I?

To want to assert your rights over the best interests of people whose lives may be more difficult generally than yours , speaks to me of quite a sad bitter type.
DS1 always says if people must seek to find someone upon whom they can look down, how scummy must you feel inside to want that person, over whom you can feel superior, to have a disability

Your DS1 sounds like a fine young man Pagwatch. Remind me how old he is again? My DD is ten

he is 17 now. And veers between great and really really bloody annoying.

10 is a nice age. DD is just 8 and I enjoy the general jibber about ..stuff..

Gosh - she is a sweetie, your DD!

That isn't a bad age gap. My DD is good company too but I do find DS (ASD) very um, restful in comparison!

Thanks just looked at yours too, I hadn't seen the newer pictures of DD. She's really growing up!