in noticing that other IPOAT Johnny husband incarnations are better than mine?

[Hullygully]

Huh.

Jellied weasel has much to offer, depending on your need, or long felt want.
Suitable husband.. trembles at the thought. Will this be ...an arrangement?

It's all becoming a bit polytheistic around here. What be the punishment for worshiping false idols, faithful Culler? Only today I had to see off some sinners at the gate, after they tried to distribute leaflets for their heathen church. I threw some maize husks at them, and they soon left; then I flagellated myself for my violent actions.

The linguini will be trampled beneath the feet of the righteous.

Was this the picture, James?

No, but that's even better. Nelly Olsen-alike

Or this?

Think this one is of me lighting up amidst all you worthy maidens.

Wait - who are the unhappy wenches flashing their ankles and knees behind me? Has anyone informed Brother Ephremezikalike?

What fresh hell is this?

I shall send for The Master Flagellator. Things have gone too far.

Tomorrow there will be a mass naked flogging, if he can urge his donkey on, the poor beast is old now and droops.

All are required to be present for the purging except Sister Lenin, who I feel looks a little too eagerly on mortification. She will handpick the fleas from the donkey's hindquarters and prepare lunch.

Ah, Sister Grape! Visiting on a cultural exchange from Europe you say? Come, let me introduce you to the family.

Fleas are full of protein, Sister Riven, turn up thy nose not at the Lord's offerings. I shall order some flea milk for you too to pour upon your husks.

I do not think the Culler will approve of Flea

Am I allowed to wear my Mantilla?

So that's where Jaffa went! Set forth the dogs and bring him home to righteousness.

No Sister Mini, a nice plain headscarf or bonnet is more becoming and suited to our ilk.

what about my castanets then

Passes bleach and flagellation equipment to Riven. Hoping that no one will notice mantilla hidden under plain headscarf, hides castenets between knees. Humming nonchallently, or is that also not allowed. I do hope that no one is deriving pleasure from all this flagellation.

Back as myself.

Just in time, Sister, just in time.

There be dark days hoving on to the horizon, the innards foretell a plague of lizards ere the ides.

We must all prepare.

Like that'll work.

Get thee to the barn and count the straw.