to find it a little bit pathetic when grown women say they won't drive long distances

[emkana]

of more than 30 (!) miles because they are scared of the driving and navigating.

Is it really that hard, am I missing something here?

Sandstorm - I go to the station or airport in the evening to pick dh up, and he drives home. He prefers driving to being driven, and truly enjoys driving, and I would rather be his passenger than drive him, and find it more of a chore than a pleasure.

He sometimes drives himself to the station or airport, and home again, but there is very limited parking at the station, so it's easier for him to get the bus or a taxi there, and either get a taxi back or be picked up - and the airport parking is ferociously expensive, so again, taxi or drop-off, and taxi or pick-up makes more sense.

But I can and have driven long distances and/or places I've never been - once, in a strange hire car, into the centre of Newcastle, after a car crash, so I don't think I am too much of a disappointment to women as a whole.

Who cares if it is a zombie thread!

I drive because I need to, but I mainly do local driving. I have driven long distances occasionally when really necessary, but I am not keen. I prefer to go by train if possible. Far more civilised IMHO.

DH likes driving far more than I do. He tends to be the default driver over longer distances, although I will offer relief if needed.

If that makes me a disgrace to the female of the species the so be it. I couldn't care less.

Argh - I didn't realise this was a zombie.

I too have had a handful of panic attacks when driving on motorways. In my case, these incidents have had nothing at all to do with a rational fear of motorways, instead they have been completely unanticipated manifestations of general anxiety after particularly stressful periods of time. The first time it happened, I just thought my blood sugar levels were low. I later realised that it was a panic attack, and that it was an expression of a general feeling of lack of control at work etc at that point; in my case a useful signal to not take on more than I could handle. The problem is that once this has happened once, you subconsciously anticipate it happening again, which increases the risk of it happening again. And, with this experience, the wish to avoid a highly likely new panic attack suddenly becomes a rational reason to avoid driving on motorways. Inconvenient yes; pathetic, no.

Notyummy-being afraid of driving does not mean that you regard it as someone else's job and expect to be chauffeured. You just need to find another way of getting around and find the extra time and money if necessary.
It would be wrong to expect anyone else to act as your chauffeur unless they were going anyway and really didn't mind.
In that case I am sure a non driver could find a way of redressing the balance.

I used to be a v confident driver, then I had a bad accident on the motorway. Not my fault and no one was badly hurt.
It frightened the life out of me though. The speed things happen - the impact was at 30mph and yet 2 cars written off.

I did develop a phobia, several,years later I am much better, although a very much more cautious driver.

The motorways scare me as people drive like maniacs a lot of the time, they don't seem to realise how quickly things can change. I don't blame people for not going on motorways, we don't berate those who are scared of flying do we? It's the same phobia - not being in control of what's going to happen at great speed.

Yes yabu to some extent I am a grown woman but have been driving only 3 years so haven't yet driven on the motorway as it makes me nervous. But if they have been driving a long time then no yanbu

I used to drive regularly long distances but with a friend who died unexpectedly. Then due to the covid pandemic I didn't get out much. Now I get anxious.

ZOMBIE ALERT - 12 year old thread!!

My DM legally can drive but hasn't in decades. She was never very confident (we weren't allowed music ok when she was driving as she needed to hear the engine to know when to change gear) and got into a minor accident that really put her off. I do wonder though if part of that was DF being default driver on family outings, maybe if she practiced more she would have more confidence.
I don't mind driving, and motorway driving in particular is easy for me yet dull. I think those who are afraid of it dont realise how easy it is compared to other roads. I guess consequences of mistakes are higher but behaviour is much more predictable. City driving is harder and what I'm more likely to try to avoid because drivers do stupid things more in busy city centres. DH isn't the default driver for us, although I drive more often so I've been encouraging him to do it more on joint trips so he doesn't get rusty (I drive daily he doesn't)

Only read the first page and ducking out because I don’t want to hear such horrible things. Have some empathy ffs, not everyone finds everything as easy as others. Sorry to all those who struggle and hope you are able to keep on trying, it’s hard and not helped by such mean comments.

This post is from 2010**

Lol realised right after posting. Even more glad I didn’t read more than one page 😂

Motorway driving isn't 'easier'. Handling a car at a high speed takes skill, and merging from slip roads can be absolutely terrifying, as can all the arseholes tailgating etc. I haven't driven on a motorway since I passed my test.

All the MN driving police would be the first to say 'stay off the roads if you can't drive!' if they saw hesitant or unconfident driving. So yip, I will thanks. Safer for everyone.

I live in a rural area with narrow winding lanes. I can categorically say that motorway driving is easier.

So what?

I think it's pathetic when anyone won't drive. Regardless of gender. Obvs trauma or bad experiences aside, just putting a blanket 'I won't drive long distances/on the motorway/abroad' down is weird.

I'm one of these pathetic women😂Hate driving a car. I'll use it if I have to but avoid a long journey.
Weirdly I ride a motorcycle and will happily ride a hundred miles, have a cup of tea and cake and ride home for no reason.

I was one of these women: I had a dad and a an ex who made me feel like a shit driver.

Only stopped when I met I had my DD and HAD to drive to her hospital appointments which made me face some fears: motorway driving, multi story car park and rush hour traffic!

When I was a new driver DH made me step out of my comfort zone and drive a lot. I am so glad that he did. He can cope with easy journeys where he knows the way, but anything involving city or complicated driving or following a satnav and he just goes to pieces (stroke related)