to find it a little bit pathetic when grown women say they won't drive long distances

[emkana]

of more than 30 (!) miles because they are scared of the driving and navigating.

Is it really that hard, am I missing something here?

and I am nervous about going in a car wash

I learn to drive in my 30s because I had a baby and wanted to be able to drive in case of emergencies. I live in London where driving is very different from anyone else. I don't like driving on motorways. I am sure I am capable but when I see idiots driving so fast or cutting people up I know I'd rather my husband who has been driving since he was 17 did it. I don't care what anyone else thinks. The only person who has a right to complain is my husband and he doesn't care. And I can and do drive in London so the posters who are like 'if you won't drive on motorways then you shouldn't have a license' can just do one. To be honest. I actually know loads of people like me (men and women) who don't like motorways and we've pretty much all learned in London when we were older.

Yabvvvu, to some, driving does not come easily or naturally. I have failed 4 driving tests, and would love to learn again once ds starts school next year. But I would prefer local driving for now if I pass my test, just to get my confidence up. I also suffer from panic attacks, dyspraxia and dyslexia. You don't know how others feel, walk in their shoes, then you will find out.

Bloody hell, I would not drive with dh in the car, it would be blooming awful, back seat driver.

Very nasty thread. Over the years I've become much more competent driver and nowadays will drive about 1.5 hours but 2 hours+ would be uncomfortable for me . Usually I'd go by train over longer distances. It is down to confidence but I don't think it's pathetic any more than I think other people not being good at something I am good at (e.g. Cooking) is pathetic.

I agree that there's usually one partner more willing to drive than the other and it's usually a man and that lack of experience feeds lack of confidence.

I've had 3 panic attacks on motorways (10 years ago). According to some on this thread that means I shouldn't drive on the motorway ever! What I actually did was leave at the next services until I'd calmed down. I've soldiered on and now am more comfortable with m-way driving. My mum wouldn't drive on motorways and I didn't want to end up like her.

I don't have much reason to drive further than 1.5hours so it's never been an issue. I have a friend 2.5hours away and I've never yet managed to drive to her but I will one of these days. She always gets the train to me too but she's not a bad driver at all.

The assumptions and judgements of some on this thread are just awful.

I learnt to drive as soon as I could and absolutely LOVED it. However was always slightly anxious on.motorways but not enough to avoid them.

I've driven many thousands of miles all over the world and in all kinds of vehicles.

However after several hairy moments on motorways, I very gradually developed a severe phobia of them. It just crept up.

I frequently berate myself for having been such a confident and competent driver to now feeling extremely limited in where I can go. I've had therapy and even medication but the anxiety remains.

Does this really make me pathetic?!

Oh just noticed. This is a zombie thread
Still interesting though!

I live in London and don't need to drive which is just as well because I hate it and am intimidated by it, as is DH or DP as I must call him for the benefit of those who think I don't understand language

I get fear of 90mph crashes but not fear of spiders. Everyone is different and the thread is a bit aggressive (obviously the quality I am missing in my driving).

We all have strengths and weaknesses in life and need to bear this in mind when being critical of what others can and cannot do well. At least the people who will consciously avoid driving under certain conditions have self awareness. How about people who are very confident drivers but are actually a danger for others (and themselves)? I am shocked at how harsh some of the responses have been and I am sure such responses do nothing to help those who are already feeling a bit inferior.

Do you know what I have found empowering? No-not driving on motorways but not giving a shit if some people think not driving long distances makes me pathetic.
I have found a great sense of freedom from deciding I'm not going to put myself through it any more.
Its great to travel by train with a cup of coffee and a book.

I dont drive well on motorways. Will drive out of London and to the New Forest etc if I have to, but I dont like it.

I am happy to drive in the dark, I am happy with narrow streets and bendy roads jam-packed with parked cars, I am happy with bendy and narrow bumpy mountain roads. I am happy to drive on icy conditions, in snow, sleet, with-out conditions with storms shaking the car.

Silly me, I never thought it was because I am FEMALE that I dont feel confident with motorways!

Oh, and I have no problems switching between driving on the right and on the left a couple of times per year, when going between England and the far blimming North of Norway.

My dh does the long driving and me the short. It works for us.

Heck, I had no problems driving a friggin ramshackle old coach build campervan through Sweden, nor manouvering the same monstrosity through the city streets in my home town.

But me lacking confidence on motorways is because I am a Woman?

How bloody ridiculous, stereotypical and judgmental!

I'm a highly educated woman but I hate driving. I'm quite happy to take the bus etc. so bloody what! Every one has things they don't like, and for me it is driving. I've done really well though and do drive regularly although not more than 25 min trips.

I will happily confess to not enjoying driving any more. I spent years commuting 50 miles or so in ancient cars that were pretty unreliable on roads in the middle of nowhere. It was stressful and I am very glad not to have to do it anymore. I can do it and do so from time to time but I'd rather not.

I hate driving on motorways in the UK. So busy, and everyone crammed in the middle and outside lanes with the inside lane empty.

I don't drive, I don't put the rubbish out and I don't do DIY. Because if I did, that would mean I did pretty much everything.

Only read the start of this thread. Couldn't bear to read any more 'silly women', 'it's pathetic women like this' types of comments. Who needs men to bring us down?

So what? Some women don't like driving. Some men don't like it either. I know a couple of men who gave up learning because they couldn't get the hang of it. I'd rather not be confident driving long distances than sitting spitting venom in an internet forum about a woman I know who isn't confident driving.

I guess the whole point of this thread is not so much that there is something that some women find quite difficult and don't really enjoy doing (long distance/motorway driving), but that same women find it OK t sit back and say "Men are better at this and so I let my husband do all the long journeys".
Obviously excepting people who have a real phobia or have been involved in nasty situations on the roads, does this attitude not seem rather old fashioned?
I have had to drive abroad a lot, and would have found it much easier to let my husband do all the driving in Italy, for example (nightmare), but for my own self respect wanted to prove that I could do it.

YANBU. This is where feminism comes crashing down: men would just get on with it.

I don't drive at all! shoot me now Found it absolutely terrifying and was literally physically sick after first few lessons. Years later was diagnosed with a heart condition which would force me to give up my license if I had one. It hasn't affected me at all though.People are different thank god In most of my mates in couples the male does the long distance driving but I have no idea why as I've never asked

Not sure that all men do 'just get on with it.' My father was a nervous driver who increasingly avoided unfamiliar routes, night driving, motorways.

His job meant he could take the train to workand that's what he did. He avoided chauffeuring children, and holidays were taken in relatively nearby locations.

My mother didn't drive.

I have only read the first page but can't help feeling that many people have phobias for pretty good reasons. Two years before I was born, my family was involved in a horrific motorway accident which left my parents in hospital for a year, two of their children injured and the youngest dead. I am the replacement for the third child and my mother had great difficulty when it came to me learning to drive. It wasn't possible for her to be rational about it, and her fears transferred themselves on to me - I drove late, learned overseas out of necessity when pregnant, and have always avoided motorways in this country when I can. Of course I'll drive if I need to, but when work has taken me on the M25, the first thing I do at the other end is to text my mother.

Sorry if this makes either of us "pathetic".

The irony of this is that motorways have a much lower accident rate and a lower rate of death per accident than other types of road in this country, so it makes utterly no sense to be more worried about driving on them. It's a shame that more women than men seem to opt of significant driving and see it as someone else's job. It is limiting apart from anything else. But I also get that it has to be a negotiation in each relationship. I don't think dh would be happy being relied on to do every long journey and I certainly wouldn't like the idea of not driving long distances to see friends unless he took me.

My dp drives but hates it and avoids when possible.