to find it a little bit pathetic when grown women say they won't drive long distances

[emkana]

of more than 30 (!) miles because they are scared of the driving and navigating.

Is it really that hard, am I missing something here?

when i was trying to get over my phobia then driving was utterly utterly exhausting - i have to stop after an hour or two even now and prise my white-knuckled fingers from the steering wheel and unclench my jaw and just generally get my heartrate back under control.

i don't actually mind doing it alone - i pull into laybys every so often if i feel too tense - but i'm mortified to do it with other people in the car because of just exactly the lack of understanding exhibited on this thread.

YANBU, reduce women to little women and second rate citizens. To those who do have panioc attacks when driving, then honestly is it time for you to stop driving altogether - a car is a lethal weapon, and not something to be wrestling with whilst in the midst of a panic attack.

I find it idiotic, yes. Licences should be removed if you aren't a capable driver.

If you get lost - get this! Ask for directions! Get a Satnav! Go to Mapquest and print the route out! You aren't on foot, you have a phone!

Newsflash! If you haven't got as much experience driving as your husband, how do you think HE became experienced??

I had to start driving 1 1/2 hours to work twice a week as soon as I passed my test, although I remember being exhausted because I was so nervous I concentrated as hard as an F1 driver.

I've now been driving 23 years, and don't have the best navigational skills - I get lost al the time but I'd never let it stop me traveling anywhere.

But I can't feel too superior as I've only once attempted to drive abroad and couldn't get used to the controls being on the wrong side. DH was so stressed he insisted on driving despite having forgotten his licence and not being fully insured!

Actually, I now feel a bit pathetic for giving in to his stress-head moaning - would just perservere nowadays and tell him to shut up.

I was going to post on another area about my panic attacks while driving as I am now even getting attacks when i go locally but the reaction on this thread has made me think twice :(.
Thought people would understand on here but apparently I am a 'silly woman'

Fluffles
(and everyone else who has a driving phobia) i don't think you are pathetic, I think that you need help to get over your phobia.

Those women I know who won't drive on motorways don't because they are not used to it. Most times that is due to their husbands not allowing or not encouraging them to drive. Or critiquing their wives driving so that they get too nervous.

I don't like driving on dual carriageways or motorways with the dcs in the back, I just feel too responsible and liable to a panic attack. As framey said panic in a car is no fun at all.
Usually fine to do it alone though, and have long commute to work. Just only like being responsible for myself.
I think you're being mean some of you here as I really force myself into the car to get over the fear and because I don't want to be limited. But I don't enjoy it and I wouldn't pretend to just to prove a point.

op would you extend your disapproval to women who are incapable of basic car maintenance eg changing a tyre, checking oil, air pressure etc

Funny how some folk will think nothing of a ninety minute cross-town drive in city traffic, but will think a forty-five minute drive to the countryside requires the packing of a picnic basket and two services stops.

bloody hell, 'it's time for you to stop driving alltogether' if you have a panic attack?
Erm how rediculously extreme is that comment?

once you have the basics and are a safe driver the only way to become better is to practise practise practise.

that's what i did, and i wasn't a danger to anybody, people in the car with me had no idea how stressed i was.. but sometimes there are other things going on and it's better not to push things when tired or conditions aren't great.

it is totally unreasonable to ask people to drive when they are uncomfortable and don't want to - most people are a good judge of their own abilities.

I met a lady in the hairdresser's whose Mum (when she was alive) would only turn left in a car - she refused to turn right because she found it too scary!

She still got whereever she needed to go, it just took her much longer. (Trust me, it does work, I've thought about how this is possible by testing it out on places I know - it's mad, but it's possible! But !)

i agree, it's fairly pathetic (unless you have good reaason like fluffles et al!)

i do also agree tho that if you are having panic attacks whilst driving you aren't really very safe and need to get that sorted before you drive anywhere to be honest

fluffles- 1-2 hours is good! i need a break after that amount of time driving because it's bloody knackering, and i've never had any problem with driving long distances etc. so i think you're doing really well

i really don't get it though. why is it more nerve-wracking to go 40 miles than 30? it's still driving. it's still exactly the same thing...?

How are these people passing their driving tests???????????

and yes, those who worry because they don't have enough experience driving.

how will you get it if you won't drive anywhere?

i love motorways actually. big and wide, everyone going the same direction, no junctions/roundabouts. tis lovely! much easier than driving around town

You lot are a bit mean! I drive long distances, but TBH with young DC who I still get up for in the night (DS2 is a pain for throwing his blanket off and then crying out at night all huddled up in a cold bundle!) I am absolutely shattered and find it difficult to stay awake for long journeys later in the day. So my DH drives them, and I snooze!

chitchat, as an aside - have you tried a sleeping bag for your ds?

I don't get panic attacks driving on normal roads, just on motorways.

Therefore I do not drive on motorways.

apparently this makes me a patheic woman!!!

I know lots of women like this. I dont know any men but I suspect that a man wouldnt admit it.

My best friend will not drive unless she has to. We go out most Saturdays and I always drive. I dont mind because she is the most amazing friend to me in other ways.

As scared as she is I know she would drive backwards up the M1 at midnight if she had to help someone she cared about.

I think I may have ended up as one of those women though. I hated learning to drive. I didnt want to do it but had to. I used to feel sick everytime I got in a car. I passed my test (4th) at the end of July and my DD was dx with cancer at the end of August. From then on I had no choice and had to drive in all conditions at all times.

So I do have sympathy with the wimps

So to anyone who has had a panic attack WHILST driving ? - have you stopped driving until you get help/treatmnet for your phobia ?

I don't remember all the posters who were afraid of spiders the other night being called pathetic women.

No Sassyneast, do you reccomend that we should by any chance?

You're being mean, I hate driving, particularly with the children fighting/bickering in the back. I live in central London and only drive very locally - the traffic is very heavy round here and I find driving very stressful. We don't use the car much anyway as we don't need to (less than once a week in term time). I've never driven on a motorway, driven on an A road a handful of times and rarely need to shift out of 3rd gear. So what? I don't ask for/need lifts and ferry the children around locally as/when is needed. We tend to get the train long-distance anyway.

This topic comes up again and again on MN and always amazes me for its level of judgeypantness - when/if we move out of London I'm sure I'll drive more but up until then, why does anyone care how much I drive?