to be gutted that DP is not taking the morning off work to come with me to take DS to his first day at school?

[superv1xen]

actually i am not just gutted, i am angry and disappointed.

DS is 4 and is from a previous relationship. he starts full time school this thursday and DP is not coming with us. its a really special day for DS, and for me, and i am frankly devastated that he doesn't feel its important to come with us. i think it is a really momentous, special occasion for a family when a child starts school and he just does not seem to give a shit about it. all he needs to do is go in work a bit late, just to see DS go in, he is the boss so he doesnt even need to ask.

he has said he doesnt want to "waste" a days holiday - ( "WASTE" ffs ) - well he doesnt even need to have the whole day off as i said, just go in a bit late.

i am seriously that angry right now i feel sick :(

See I look at that quoe I put in (must find the post) and realise -

I wasn't ever (with 3 dc)

"very emotional"
"a bit hysterical"
"upset"
"scared"
"tearful"
"full of emotion"
"end of an era"
"anxious"

I was pleased and proud that they looked so fab in their ne uniform and were so pleased in themselves that they were going to school! I was delighted that they had reached this point and were grown up enough to take this massive step! I was chuffed with their resilience and ability to just get on.

Maybe this has something to do with the scottish system, where children are older starting (dd1 was 5.6, ds was 5.6, dd2 was 4.9) but I think it had to do with my and dh's attitude - it was just het was happening and we made it part of life, not a huge event!! THough with all 3 of them, I picked them up at lunchtime and went out for a special "grown-up" lunch of their choosing, to celebrate how well they did!

DS1 just started nursery last week and there were loads of couples there with their DC to see them on their first day settling in.

DH got home early from his work just so he could see DS1 start nursery, take a few pics etc.

OP I can understand why you'd be annoyed - the first day of school is even more special and if both parents are able to go then they should.

I was a bit tearful when DS started nursery on his first afternoon but fine the second day and the day after etc.

It is a little emotional because it is like the end of an era (for some of us!).

My ds1 starts school next week too. I hadn't even thought that dh might come too and he works from home and sets his own hours so could easily do it.
Having read the whole thread though yanbu as I would be fuming if dh were treating our dcs so differently!
It's ok to not love your step child as much as a bio child initially as that kind of love grows with time but it's outrageous to treat the children differently!

I wasn't anxious or nervous but I was pretty happy for him and I loved that my day was then free.

I've just given both of mine money to go out and buy their own school clothes/uniforms (they are 16 and 14)for next week. Can't help wishing, just for a moment I was back at that first day at school moment. First day at Sixth Form just isn't an occasion for sniffling mums at the gate, is it?
Hope all goes well for all your new starters.

I think it is an important day...

DH and I both took DD 2 years ago, didn't make a fuss, didn't over react, but did enjoy seeing her off for her big adventure.

Each to their own.

Not wanting to start a working/stay at home debate at all

but I do wonder if parents feel differently if the child hasn't been to nursery/child care etc and only been to pre-school (ie a few hours each day/week).So hasn't yet made that all day break away???

YABU and IMHO, over the top and quite pathetic.

Schools in our area don't start with all day though so it's no different at first to morning only nursery. The uniform is similar too as it's at the same school.

I didnt attend any of my DCs first days at school either at home or abroad. They didnt need two parents there making a fuss. Nothing to do with them having attended pre-school/nursery (they hadnt). I guess I'm just not that kind of parent. I went to work and DH took DCs into school.

Personally I would be a bit annoyed if DH was behaving like OP and demanding I took a day off work or went in late for a non-event.

Sorry haven't read the whole thread.

But I did suggest to DH to see if he could take the day off on DS's first day ( day cus he cant just take the morning off)

He wanted to so asked his boss but some1 else already had that day booked off, so DH wont be coming with us.

But at the end of the day its not the end of the day and i think you are being a bit OTT

We live across the road from the school and dp is home all the time and he's been to neither of the older kid's first days... he is their father and loves them to bits but has the good sense to realise they don't need two overexcited and panicing parents standing in the classroom grinning like loons and making them more nervous

Dh has never been there for a 1st day as he is a teacher in a different school, rarely can make parents evenings and only very occasionally catches any assembly or concert type events. Such is life. He does get 13 weeks holiday a year for which he and I are both eternally grateful