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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hide the feminism topic?

733 replies

CerealOffender · 28/08/2010 22:17

the thread titles are all so serious and worthy and make me feel frivolous and unsisterly.

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 29/08/2010 00:58

Oooh, MoreSpamThanGlam, you're thinking of choice feminism, which isn't feminism at all. Apparently. Confused

All I know is, back in the day when I was bra-burning (apparently, that's a myth too, even though at least one poster here actually did) it was about choice. It was about having the right to choose to stay on at school after 16. About having access to further and higher education. About being able to work after getting married/having children. About having children/getting married in the first place.

Now all of those issues have been addressed (sort of), apparently they were never issues at all. Hmm

So I'll just shut up then, shall, I?

Janos · 29/08/2010 01:00

Hmm

Certain posters dominate and can get shouty on other topics though don't they so why single out feminism?

There is a MN 'line' (generalisation)/ received wisdom for all areas of the board I think.

People see their MN 'mates' posting on a thread and join in, You (general you )can challenge/discuss/argue or not as you like.

Janos · 29/08/2010 01:00

Apols for crappy grammar and random caps..tis past my bedtime!

BitOfFun · 29/08/2010 01:07

MoreSpam- I'm not bored by the topic of rape as such, but it's not why I I come on MN, which is generally to shoot the breeze. I have shared some of my experiences (which include rape) with posters to help them when I feel able to, but just as I don't hang round in the Special Needs topic, despite having a severely disabled child, sometimes being here is an escape from all that, and you shouldn't have to immerse yourself in other people's thoughts/feelings about it all if you don't want to.

sixpercenttruejedi · 29/08/2010 01:10

I love the feminism threads, yes it gets shouty and can be a bit intimidating but if you jump in and ask questions they'll be answered fairly and patiently.
AIBU is shouty and a lot more hostile but that doesn't seem to stop anyone.
Really don't understand some womens aversion to a movement dedicated to them not being treated like shit. Confused

TrillianAstra · 29/08/2010 01:13

Hide it if you don't want to discuss it. But far more sensible to hide individual threads.

No need to start a thread complaining about it though.

BitOfFun · 29/08/2010 01:15

That's what I do, Trills- I hide individual threads if I don't feel up to them. But the topic as a whole is interesting to me.

TrillianAstra · 29/08/2010 01:15

Maybe ifthose of you who oppose the hardline 'anyone who doesn't agree with me is an anti-women traitor' arguments actually posted in feminism rather than just complaining about it then the board would have a different feel.

LadyRabbit · 29/08/2010 01:16

I think part of the problem is that a lot of the feminists who have a mainstream platform have a tendency to be very extreme - so a lot of women don't identify with them, but if you dare to suggest this, it's as if you don't appreciate what feminism has meant for the current generation. I really, really appreciate the freedoms I have - one of those freedoms is to be able to disagree with certain bits of what is labelled as feminism today.

We're also at a point in education where gender political writing has become so self-reflexive - or, to put it bluntly, completely up its own arse - that there is a tendency on those threads for certain folk who have read too many badly researched rantings parading as polemic works of great importance to spout what is essentially a load of rubbish but use extremely pretentious language that makes it seem as if they know what they are talking about. (A bit like my last sentence.)

I dunno why some people can't accept that feminism, like any other -ism, is a multi-faceted idea that is constantly evolving and is not the word of God and should not ever be something to solely define oneself by - especially NOT as a woman. A few months ago when BBC 4 were showing the 'Women' documentary the feminism topic was a rum old read, but not worth posting on because it all got a bit grumpy and ugly on there.

scottishmummy · 29/08/2010 01:16

problemo is say anything along line of feminist board irascible.be met with omg women died,fought,protested just for you and all you can do is side with da men and give sistas a hard time-shame on you

at least aibu,is robust enough to not accuse a woman of letting down all her gender when not concur with posts

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 29/08/2010 01:17

sixpercenttruejedi, when the movement dedicated to [women] not being treated like shit, treats you like shit, that's when you gain the aversion.

scottishmummy · 29/08/2010 01:21

posters can and do post anywhere they wish.there is no compulsion to adhere to any thread location.

scottishmummy · 29/08/2010 01:23

i would never hide any topic.i post as i wish

BitOfFun · 29/08/2010 01:28

I don't usually hide topics because I can't bear to see them, but it makes sense to exclude somestuff so that you see 50 threads in your active convos that you at least have amn outside chance of being interested in. If I let it all run wild I would miss stuff I like because it was all clogged up by somebody's antenatal club.

scottishmummy · 29/08/2010 01:30

i see a topic,i post.if it catches my eye

sixpercenttruejedi · 29/08/2010 01:33

OldLadyKnowsNothing - point taken, i'm not sure exactly how you feel it's let you down but there is a thread at the moment which discusses how Feminism has let down those who it should have been expected to help.
I don't think turning away is the answer (tho maybe understandable) but surely there's some worth in taking part in the thread and having your voice heard?
Feminism isn't a monolith and is constantly evolving. It's had it's faults during getting established like anything else but is there another movement that you feel would help you better? I haven't found one, admitting it's imperfections, it's still a better starting point, I think. Smile

TrillianAstra · 29/08/2010 01:36

My active convos does 100 - but ante/post natal clubs are still hidden - everything else is fair game though :)

scaredoflove · 29/08/2010 01:36

Feminism is something I am interested in, especially being the mother of young women and even more so, young men but it is all about discussing and discussing and then discussing some more and quoting large portions of text- which as a dyslexic, I can't digest

Mostly, it makes me feel like I am back at school, with girls that made my life a misery. It isn't women friendly if you don't agree 100% with what is written. If you have disagreed along the line, you are then ignored (as I was told I would be) So whats the point of joining in?

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 29/08/2010 01:38

sixpercenttruejedi, well, as I've said, I've been accused of being all sorts of things just because I don't agree with the radical feminist agenda, and I've seen (female) friends of mine accused of the same thing. I've argued my case, seen others argue theirs, and always the same response; if you don't agree with us, you're anti-woman. There comes a point when you really just can't be bothered any more.

And yes, there is another movement within which I feel much more comfortable; humanism. :)

emmyloulou · 29/08/2010 01:41

problemo is say anything along line of feminist board irascible.be met with omg women died,fought,protested just for you and all you can do is side with da men and give sistas a hard time-shame on you

at least aibu,is robust enough to not accuse a woman of letting down all her gender when not concur with posts

That's it 100% I don't go in for all this bullshit that women are still victims 100% of the time and men are nasty , abusive, control freaks 100% of the time, it's utter crap and patronising.

I also don't like to be told that because I don't have this view point it's somehow warped against women. Or because I don't 100% disagree with something that could be deemed anti female.

Surely as a female, I should be entitled to my own opinion and not be forced to conform, I just find the whole board, ironic and hypocrytical. The board IMVHO gives feminism a bad name and actually does the opposite of what it should do.

sixpercenttruejedi · 29/08/2010 01:41

OLKN - fair enough. As long as you're not a fully paid member of the Kill Kittens Horribly Society. Smile

Appletrees · 29/08/2010 01:43

I think you should go over and say what you think. It isn't everyone that tells you to bugger off I don't think. I am over there sometimes and I would like to read more varied views.

You could always play topic bingo. A point for being called anti-feminist: two points for "woefully ignorant": house for being told to sod off (am already a winner on that one several times over).

Come on, you know it makes sense.

MillyR · 29/08/2010 01:44

I agree with TA on this, there seems to be more of you on here than in the feminist section, so if you all went wanted to discuss feminism you could all go over there and the people you have an issue with would be in the minority.

I post on the feminist section. That does not mean that all I am interested in is feminism. Feminism is not even my main political interest. I'm not sure why people on here are assuming that feminists on the section are only interested in women's rights or that we have more experience or are more representative of feminism than any of you. I am on there to learn about feminism, not to represent it.

LadyRabbit · 29/08/2010 01:45

OMG Appletrees, imagine the uproar if someone scored 88 in Feminist Topic Bingo and called out 'Two Fat Ladies'!!!!

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 29/08/2010 01:47

sixpercenttruejedi I'm a bit soppy about kittens. Blush

Appletrees I had my own version of topic bingo; it didn't go down well with the radfems...

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