to think my friend is not being unreasonable?

[TheFruitWhisperer]

Shes planning a wedding. On a cruise ship. It sounds great to be be honest, totally her kind of thing.

Trouble is that shes in knots about asking people to go, as she thinks that family and friends wont want to go because of cost/convenience etc. It will probably be around £1400 each to go and have the holiday on the cruise after.

I dont think thats bad, after all its what she wants, would be a group holiday and fab that everyone could be there together, we've all got over 2 years to save for it. But some friends I understand, will probably have to scrimp. And some of her partners family members have said they'd be very upset if the two of them did it without them there.

Shes very worried she'll have crap turn out and upset the fam, and I want some MN back up to say shes not being unreasonable, this is their big day so she can do what she wants and be happy! (Ive also said we can put her back in her wedding dress for an additional party when she gets back, so if anyone did miss out they can see it again!)

Shes surely not being unreasonable, is she?

I have only read three pages, so if this has already been mentioned, sorry.
It doesn't sound very romantic, bringing friends along on a honeymoon!

It depends on how important it is for them to have people at their wedding. But if they really want to get married on the ship, then that is what they should do.

Would they still have a wedding reception, and would that cost extra? Or is this a way of getting out of all the wedding stress and fuss? Because if so, it is genius!

Friend got married abroad (in the ciuntry her DH was from and she'd moved to). Cost me about 2K to go. Had a fantastic time. She was delighted that a posse of her friends were able to attend, as she had no expectations of us. Some could afford it, some could not. She wasn't unreasonable for asking but neither were those who didn't go.

And no, she didn't have a wedding list! But I did take a gift too!

I think people who marry abroad and EXPECT to be surrounded by family and friends are completely selfish, tbh.

If you want to go away and get married on a beach, then fine, look forward to seeing the photos.

If you expect F&F to accompany you, the pay for them all.

My brother got married abroad and spent the whole time going on about how much CHEAPER it was to get married this way - yeah, apart from the guests who have had to cough up £2k each to be there with you.

I agree with the idea of getting married first, maybe that morning, then going on the cruise, with the invitation for people to join them who are able. At least the family does get to witness the wedding regardless of whether or not they can go on the cruise.

She's not being unreasonable to have this as her wedding if thats what she wants but she can't expect everyone to fall into line about going and spending that kind of money on a holiday she has picked for them!

Even if I could save up that amount over 2 years thats a lot of money that to be honest I could find a much better use for!

Had the same situation last year when my brother said they'd love to get married in USA and would we be able to save enough to go. I said we wouldn't be able to do it because of finances but that it was their wedding and we wouldn't be upset if thats what they chose we just wouldn't be there. I think they got the same reply from most people as the wedding is now over here. Still going to cost a bit but nothing like a US trip would have.

I'm sure I'm echoing many other MN's in saying its her wedding (and her DF of course) and so she should do whatever makes her and DF happy... but she can't then be upset if ppl choose/can't afford to come. £1400 is a lot of money, I wouldn't be able to manage it, but it's also the time and what about those couples with children? So, go for it, but don't be upset if ppl don't come.

You can't have it both ways,... unless you pay for all your guests??

FWIW me and my DH got married in Vegas with only one friend there and it was perfect, exactly what we wanted. All our family knew what we were doing, it wasn't like we eloped, and they were all happy as long as we were.

Hi, just chipping in at the end... Maybe she can organise a concise list of guests and offer to pay in part for their cruise? She seems to want to get away with having a fabulous wedding and not forking out for it. Otherwise, she and her DP will end up paying less for it that some of the invited families...