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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Actually i know i am but i fed up

713 replies

megawoman · 23/08/2010 22:01

Have been friends with somebody since we were at pre-school together. She got married 6 years ago and I am now good friends with both her and her husband.

They have both been moaning at me lately about the fact their relationship has turned sour. He today phoned me twice asking if I had heard from her because he was at their house and she was not there again yet promised she would be in for his lunchbreak. I told him she was not with me but may be with her sister. Two hours later he phoned again as she was still not home and he rung again to see if I had heard from her yet. I said I had not but if I did I would tell her he was looking for her. He then asked me if I thought she was cheating on her which I know she is not she is organising big party for his 30th so was out getting decorations etc. I normally am very good and just say she must have been held up somewhere but today I snapped and told him she was and we had been having a lesbian love affair for 6 months. I know it was wrong and might cause major problems for them but I was so fed up of them putting me in the middle and now I don't want to contact either of them because I know I was out of order. (ducks ready for flogging)

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 28/08/2010 19:20
Shock
BrianAndHisBalls · 28/08/2010 19:23

I warmed her up good, shouted 'open the barn doors im a love tyrana tyrannna dinosaur' then Edith started fiddling with her flippers and she ignored me! Shock

sexy times my fat arse

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 28/08/2010 19:25
Pleb1969 · 28/08/2010 19:30

hats off to MW, I didn't even think of using the throbbing manhood phrase. Is she/he copying this from a readers wives section in a magazine with all the pages stuck together, or is her/his mind as deliciously warped as mine? I haven't checked the garlic bread thread yet but am hoping to find some delicious new recipes... Seriously, I can't top what MW posted and I was taking the piss! Confused Just wondering what Jackie Collins novel or top shelf mag it was copied from - I mainly read Phillipa Gregory nowadays and you don't get much rampant shower/wetness/manhood anecdotes in there...

IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat · 28/08/2010 19:30

Wow, bugger the hot girl-on-girl action,have you SEEN Brian and Louise's shower? It's massive! Christ, if that didn't get you bending over Whiny Brian's throbbing bits, I don't know what would! And how very convenient that it should be to hand on the internet! Now I feel like I was truly there.

IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat · 28/08/2010 19:32

Hey, could you post a pic of the kitchen table you ate the moist steamy pizza at?

Ta muchly

Pleb1969 · 28/08/2010 19:49

they don't have apicture of the table, but here's one of their wedding photos...

www.bolgernow.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/pregnant-redneck-couple.jpg

JaxTellersOldLady · 28/08/2010 19:51

its party time!!!!! Grin

I have cocktails, nibbles (ahem) and dips...

think I will stick to the cocktails.

BrianAndHisBalls · 28/08/2010 20:03

Lou seemed like a shy girl when we met, but get a few lambrinis in her and she'll play filing the rabbit with anyone Sad

Shes wont want me now im no good at flensing the midget.

Any sex advice for me?

Bicnod · 28/08/2010 20:03
Shock

and

Blush

and

Grin
BrianAndHisBalls · 28/08/2010 20:09

Ive tried all my normal tricks - cupping the baps, I usually spend at least 2 minutes scrunching them and going 'beep beep' or 'honk honk', I like to vary it.

Then I usually have a quick rub of the nub and after that its up and in. Shes always said she loved it before.

MrsWeasley · 28/08/2010 20:11

Well I am disgusted

McDonalds and fruitshoots!!!!! Very naughty!!! Wink

BrianAndHisBalls · 28/08/2010 20:13

The only time I thought she was so so wet ... then she told me it was my jizz from the nite before Sad

sorrento56 · 28/08/2010 20:24
Pleb1969 · 28/08/2010 20:31
AuntieMaggie · 28/08/2010 20:59

lmao

does this remind anyone else of that episode of friends?

bumpsnowjustplump · 28/08/2010 22:19

So do you think Brian did MW as well? And shiny can your dh explain the second instance of how both Brian and MN can be in louise at the same time, obviously I get that brian could be up the marmite motorway [sorry I am drunk] but how else can it happen?!!

Starberries · 28/08/2010 23:31

Marking place - ignore me Grin

LeoniPoni · 28/08/2010 23:31

Weh-heh-hell! This thread is just marvy! Got off to a slow start but now is fulfilling it's potential. A hearty well done to all involved. Special mentions go to Scottishmummy, SparkleRainbow and Pleb for making my Saturday night just fabulous.

And MegaWoman - We'll see you in the morning hopefully! I am praying that you've had a, ahem, lovely night. Grin

Jaybird37 · 28/08/2010 23:33

Poor Brian. I am not convinced that MW gives night classes, but if she does, he should sign up.

WickedWitchSouthWest · 28/08/2010 23:41

Place marking for next installment

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 29/08/2010 00:04

i love mumsnet Grin

having a dull weekend too

JaxTellersOldLady · 29/08/2010 06:28

well I am up nice and early (puppies) and thought I would get the gossip early, but nothing happening.

IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat · 29/08/2010 06:30

They'll be collapsed spent in each other's arms

babybarrister · 29/08/2010 07:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.