Actually i know i am but i fed up

[megawoman]

Have been friends with somebody since we were at pre-school together. She got married 6 years ago and I am now good friends with both her and her husband.

They have both been moaning at me lately about the fact their relationship has turned sour. He today phoned me twice asking if I had heard from her because he was at their house and she was not there again yet promised she would be in for his lunchbreak. I told him she was not with me but may be with her sister. Two hours later he phoned again as she was still not home and he rung again to see if I had heard from her yet. I said I had not but if I did I would tell her he was looking for her. He then asked me if I thought she was cheating on her which I know she is not she is organising big party for his 30th so was out getting decorations etc. I normally am very good and just say she must have been held up somewhere but today I snapped and told him she was and we had been having a lesbian love affair for 6 months. I know it was wrong and might cause major problems for them but I was so fed up of them putting me in the middle and now I don't want to contact either of them because I know I was out of order. (ducks ready for flogging)

squigglywig I know you are right but it is so hard

this is love opportunity lost,this is woman who hooked up and married someone else.without you and her getting it on

mooooooooooove on shes not that into you.her allegiance was to the bloke she married

she had opportunity,chance,and proximity if she were interested.nothing happened.from that id infer she not into you

plenty lovely lassies out there,go find a nice available single girl.don't chase what you cannot have.dont pine over whats not on offer.dont get heartbroken

this isnt love opportunity lost,shes not into you

i honestly feel you want to break them up so you can be her shoulder to cry on and then make a move!!

on theory its wrong! but what the hell we only live once, and i no how hard it is to love someone you cant have!

No they don't know I am gay as I don't want to tell them and I am not 100% sure I am as I would still accept a threesome with her and her dh. I should look elsewhere but a part of me always hopes it will go my way but you are right she has had 20 odd years to show any feelings towards me. It is scary when I think how many missed opportunities I have had. We did experiment as teenagers but nothing ever came of it but I think that may be where my infatuation comes from

no its not hard.if you live in lalala maybe one day she'll love me land you are being daft.go find a lovely lassie and stop kidding yourself on about her

I am with scottishmummy here but maybe a little bit less harshly

She has had her chance maybe you should cut your losses is there anybody else you could go out with and find yourself a woman who will love you for who you are?

we all crave love and companionship,with someone free to give it back.why chose a tortured poor me will she ever love me life

Is she perhaps the only woman you're close too? Maybe if you knew some others she wouldn't seem so special?

For a very brief period in my youth, I was the only girl in my sixth form. All the boys "loved" me (I had great fun) but then I was the only live female they ever actually spoke to. Real life soon put me in my place when I left school but what I mean is that those boys found out there was nothing special about me when they met some other girls, maybe it would be the same for you?

no she is not only woman I am close to there is a big group of us go clubbing all the time but she has always seemed so special

her husbands facebook status is can't be arsed not sure what to make of that

How are you this morning?

I think you know what you need to do. It is bloody hard, and painful, but you need some respect for yourself (and for them).

Would you really want to accept a threesome just to get close to her? It wouldn't be being with her. It would be being with them, and you would always be outside of that. I'm sorry to be harsh. But you could all end up very hurt here.

If they really are unhappy then they need to make of that what they will - by themselves.

You say you messed around as teenagers. Wouldn't that have been enough to have brought something to the fore for her if it was there at all?

Try to let go. And focus on your own relationship with your bf. How is that going if this is how you are feeling about her?

i'm ok thanks for asking am meeting with my best friend today so will see what happens

If you do end up having a three-way then you must relay all of the sordid important details on MN.

I would like sordid details too. I understand your plight, and think if there was any opportunity to make love to a woman I have hankered after for so long, I would take it.
Don't worry about the husband, he will get over it.

Foggyfig I think I know you - is your name Janet by any chance?

She does sound like a Janet...do you wear Birkenstocks by any chance FOggyfig??

Nope, not Janet. But I know a Janet, she is pretty hot. Sadly, she is married.

anyone up for a No Spend Challenge?

oh oops - wrong thread

Another epic fail, methinks...

So anyway, back to the OP. If I were the friend of all these years, and you now suddenly declared your attraction to me - well quite frankly I might just vomit and run far, far away. Has your friend ever shown any other interest in women apart from that spot of teenage mucking-about? Do you have any reason to suspect she might feel more than friendship for you?

your mate has had proximity,opportunity and you fantasising about her since 19Canteen,and she still hasnt taken you up.so let that tell you something - shes not into you

3some?what if you only get a bit part or allowed to tug off her husband but no girly action

be careful what you wish for

how did meeting up go?

she means did you keep your keks on...did she

Hi all have just read latest messages. I met her this morning and she seemed a little bit quiet. I did not tell her what I had said to her husband as I did not know what to say. We had coffee whilst kids played and just talked about pretty inconsequential rubbish. About an hour later she said so megawoman why did you say to my husband we had been having a lesbian love affair for 6 months. She caught me off guard as by this point I had convinced myself she was unaware of what I had said.

I hesitated and debated telling her I was just pissed off but I thought she may already never speak to me again so what have I got to loose. I told her exactly how I felt about her and whilst I understood she was married it did not stop my feelings. She looked really shocked and I thought she was going to slap me as she went bright red. she lifted her arm up and then surprised me by hugging me. It turns out she has secretly felt the same way for the last couple of years.

I asked her what that meant for her marriage and she said there is no way she would divorce or leave her husband as she believed her wedding vows were sacred and should be honored.

I told her I understood and would not expect her to ever mention it again and apologised for causing problems in her marriage. She said the problems were caused by money worries and other problems and nothing connected to me.

She told me she had discussed things with her husband last night and they both felt they trusted me and could understand why I felt that way. She has asked I meet her and Brian next week to discuss things.

I said that sounded ominous but apparently the subject of their sex life came up and they have been talking about spicing things up a little. Apparently they have been trying new things out and they had talked about threesomes but never known who to ask and now feel I could partake as third party.

I said I would have to think things over as I did not know if that is something I should do so we have agreed to meet up next on friday and discuss things.

Now what should I do?