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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Actually i know i am but i fed up

713 replies

megawoman · 23/08/2010 22:01

Have been friends with somebody since we were at pre-school together. She got married 6 years ago and I am now good friends with both her and her husband.

They have both been moaning at me lately about the fact their relationship has turned sour. He today phoned me twice asking if I had heard from her because he was at their house and she was not there again yet promised she would be in for his lunchbreak. I told him she was not with me but may be with her sister. Two hours later he phoned again as she was still not home and he rung again to see if I had heard from her yet. I said I had not but if I did I would tell her he was looking for her. He then asked me if I thought she was cheating on her which I know she is not she is organising big party for his 30th so was out getting decorations etc. I normally am very good and just say she must have been held up somewhere but today I snapped and told him she was and we had been having a lesbian love affair for 6 months. I know it was wrong and might cause major problems for them but I was so fed up of them putting me in the middle and now I don't want to contact either of them because I know I was out of order. (ducks ready for flogging)

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 23/08/2010 22:04

PMSL! That's brilliant! Grin

Ahem, sorry, that was terribly irresponsible of you. But at least you didn't put some other unsuspecting soul in the firing line!

TheLadyEvenstar · 23/08/2010 22:05

lesbian love affairs can be fun lol

BabyDubsEverywhere · 23/08/2010 22:06

Grin yanbu - to funny to be unreasonable!

CheapHawaiian · 23/08/2010 22:07
Grin
whatnolooroll · 23/08/2010 22:07

That so isn't how I was expecting that story to end!

Provided the party is not too far in the future and you can manage to stay friends with everyone until then it will make a brilliant after dinner speech Grin

squigglywig · 23/08/2010 22:10

Grin Presumably he has the good sense to know you were pissed off and not serious?

Contact them tomorrow when you've cooled down and say they need to sort this amongst themselves.

YANBU. (Unless you delivered this news in completely deadpan fashion and left the poor guy believing every word - in which case, call them).

megawoman · 23/08/2010 22:11

I don't know if I will be able to look at her next time I see her I hope it does not ruin the party her marriage but I know if it did i would be upset for her but always wondering if i should make a move

OP posts:
mumbar · 23/08/2010 22:14

ROFL was not the punchline I saw coming Grin

I'd be seiously worried about the state of their relationship if he believes you Hmm

megawoman · 23/08/2010 22:15

that's just the problem I don't know if he does or not but I am scared to contact either of them

OP posts:
create · 23/08/2010 22:17

Does that mean you'd like to make a move megawoman?

Is there any possibility he believed you?

mumbar · 23/08/2010 22:18

well your friend hasn't rung shouting at you for saying it so theres a good chance he realised it was annoyance talking and left it.

LostArt · 23/08/2010 22:20

You do realise you are going to play a big part in his fantasies from now on, don't you? Grin

megawoman · 23/08/2010 22:20

I have liked her for years but do not know how she would react she met her dh 8 years ago so I backed off before I made a fool of myself

I don't know if he believed me but he normally trusts me with everything he always asks my advice if they arguing etc he has never disbelieved me on anything even down to when she was pregnant with their dd he always asked my advice then acted

OP posts:
LesbianMummy1 · 23/08/2010 22:22

be careful this could all get very out of hand if you want a lesbian relationship surely you should find a single woman and stop wanting married ones

squigglywig · 23/08/2010 22:23

You can't help who you want, but isn't it painful for you being so involved in their relationship whilst you want one with her?

megawoman · 23/08/2010 22:25

yes is immensely painful but the thought of walking away tears me apart

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 23/08/2010 22:25

what if he asks for a 3some,starts plumping pillows in anticipation

compo · 23/08/2010 22:26

Agree with lesbianmummy1

you need to stay out of their way if you do fancy her

sorry if that's not what you want to hear

megawoman · 23/08/2010 22:26

not sure but way I feel tonight would agree just to get near her body

OP posts:
megawoman · 23/08/2010 22:27

i could not do that compo it would break my heart

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 23/08/2010 22:29

you fancy your married mate?how very day time.kyle anyone

mumbar · 23/08/2010 22:29

I think in this case you need to back off. It hurts when love/ lust etc in unrequited but you run the risk of losing even her friendship.

squigglywig · 23/08/2010 22:29

Yeah, it must do. But it's probably not going to get any easier if you stay. And really, if you do care for her, do you want to pose the risk to her marriage? Not saying anything would happen, but you've said you are close, they are having problems and you don't know how she'd react. That could all so easily become something incredibly messy and very unlikely to end up happily ever after. Not to mention her DH - who obviously trusts you.

megawoman · 23/08/2010 22:39

scottishmummy I have liked her for years but 8 years ago when we were both 25 I was umming and ahhing whether to tel her and she met her dp who is now her dh. I have tried to hide emotions for last 8 years but it is hard now seeing how miserable they are. My bf does not know how I feel and I do not feel I should tell her but it is so hard watching her be with him when I can see she is unhappy at the moment

OP posts:
create · 23/08/2010 22:39

If it was your other friend the, husband you fancied, you would expect to get slated. For your own and their sakes you need to stay well away, at least for the time being.

Do they know you're gay? Might your feelings, or her DH's suspicions about them be a reason for their difficulties?

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