to think all the peple moaning about their in laws are selfish and ungrateful

[weejie]

After reading a few posts on here I feel sorry for all these Mother in Laws...

They seem to be generally interested, maybe a little over keen, but with a bunch of self pitying, whinging daughter in laws who think the world revolves round them, are passive aggressive, have not bothered setting up a relationship and are too pathetic to establish the boundaries in a nice way and come on here and moan instead.

Perhaps people complaining about mother in laws should think about the petty nature of what they are moaning about, and how lucky they are to have mother in laws who care and want to see their grandchildren.

I hope that when your precious baby becomes a parent themselves that you are not shut out by a daughter in law who sees your interest as meddling.

Yes, I probably am being unreasonable, but am generally and regularly amazed at what people find to moan about, particularly as even with the spin they put on it the behaviour, even if somewhat overbearing, comes out of love and interest.

YANBU - in most cases, the women complaining will one day be the very same MILs-from-hell that they think thay have already (and their selfish attitudes will bite them on the bum, as they themselves are ostracized by their own children).

You two would make a lovely coupld

Why are you on here, if you find so much about MNers to criticise? Genuine question.

YABU - ALL people complaining are BU?

Surely its probable that some must have shitty in-laws who are fair game to talk about. I have a shitty father and if I complain about him (frankly I don;t bother, whats the point) it is entirely due to him being, well, a shit.

I think if your relatives are lovely and never overstep boundaries, you don't have a clue what some people go through.

yabu. There's not a one size fits all thing for in-laws or for our own parents.

YABU- this is where everyone gets things off their chests. And the whole point is that people can say 'chill out she's trying to help/ffs what a nightmare'
everyones allowed a good whinge.
Now off you go to polish your halo

My PILs are absolutely wonderful and I love them dearly.

My own mother is nuts and don't speak.

Yes it may be very easy for you OP and BarmyArmy to assume that everyone's relationships with everyone are hunky dory, and all MNers are neurotic fools, but if you apply a small amount of intelligence to your argument I am sure you will discover that is not teh case.

Again, why are you here? Barmy in particular - you NEVER have anything positive to say. I think 100% of MNers piss you off. All you seem to do is spout tripe in order to piss people off.

What a nasty sniping OP, YABU.

YABU.

You think all inlaws are lovely old grannies and grandads that want nothing more than to be part of the family and love everyone?

You have NO idea.

YABU. Everyone's experience is different. Forums like this exist because people need to vent and an outlet.

But it's all to do with women competing with one another for the love/respect/attention of their son/other half etc.

So very Freudian...

Someone will come on in a minute and say "they'll be dead soon and then you'll regret not being nicer". There's usually 1 of those for these threads.

That freudian enough for you?

OP - YANBU

Think you are all being rather harsh to her actually.
I never realised there were so many bad PIL's around until i read mumsnet!

My MiL is fantastic - she's got her flaws but I tend to be closer to her than to my own mother!

Wish she'd stop calling up on a Sunday morning for a chat though - we don't exist before noon on a Sunday (until sproglet shows up at least)!

Uhm that's not Freudian.. Call me pedantic but it's not.

Some of them are I don't doubt it. But all of them?

Dinkytinky - isn't it? Wasn't it Freud who went on about Oedipus/Electra complexes and so forth?

Happy to stand corrected!

Who cares?

I am metaphorically kicking a randomer in the balls on the internet.

call it whatever you like. Freudian. Martian. Deciduous. Whatev.

But I am practising sitting on my hands and zipping my mouth shut for if and when I become a MIL

I was going to say something about BarmyArmys Freudian interpretation, but you've put it much better GetOrf

YABU OP, the world's not a nice place, and if you've found it to be always nice I'm happy for you, the rest of us have to live in the real world.

of course their are mental in laws, but many ofthe ones I read on here don't seem at all to fall in to that category - just phoning too much, wanting to give too many cuddle,s bit of unwanted advice etc...

my point is, that much of the behaviour I read on here, specifically about in laws makes me chuckle as there is soooo little to moan about.

According to Freud, a girl, like a boy, is originally attached to the mother figure. However, during the phallic stage, when she discovers that she lacks a penis, she becomes libidinally attached to the father figure, and imagines that she will become pregnant by him, all the while becoming more hostile toward her mother. Freud attributes the character of this developmental stage in girls to the idea of "penis envy", where a girl is envious of the male penis. According to the theory, this penis envy leads to resentment towards the mother figure, who is believed to have caused the girl's "castration." The hostility towards the mother is then later revoked for fear of losing the mother's love, and the mother becomes internalized, much the same as the Oedipus complex.

Freud talked a load of old tosh. Fact.