to think that actually, a wedding ISNT her all about the bride, and ISNT only her big day, but that of the families?

[ladysybil]

I really dont understand why people think that a wedding is the brides big day. can someone explain this to me please.

Well, two people are getting married. Everyone else is watching.

Two families are also forming a connection because of the two people getting married. siblings on either side are becoming related. parents are getting dil's and sil's etc etc. children are becoming cousins. the list is endless, so how can it be only the two who are up there making vows that are important

Children are becoming cousins? That's a new one...

Depends who's paying!

Going off on a tangent but does a wedding legally relate families in any way? Never thought about it - realised it linked the bride and groom, but is 'sister in law' a legal thing or just a social title?

When dh and I got married, it was about our relationship with each other, not our respective families.

We went away for the weekend and got married with just the 2 of us. It was lovely, and turned around what had been a nightmare time for both of us.

We didn't have to worry about keeping everyone happy, or offending anyone.Everyones families are different.

A wedding can be a good opportunity for a community (the church and friends/family) to welcome the bride and groom as a married couple, and offer prayers for them.

Sorry but it's really naff all to do with the families. It's only about the 2 people who are getting married, they have equal importance, bride and groom!
Lady I find your post quite odd!

No, it's about the two people getting married.

Yes, new family relationships are formed, but you do not choose a life mate based on their nephew becoming your nephew.

YABU. I am a bloke and an older male friend told me the day before that is was DWs day. I didnt believe him.

He was right. It was.

Besides, apart from the bride and groom no one ever sees each other again. If they can help it that is.

when my sister gets married, her future dh's siblings kids will become cousins to my kids. if we live in the same locality, then, yes, they will meet again, and yes they will be related and yes they will be cousins. and i would like to see them treated equally.

i guess i just have a bigger concept of family than most on mn. i do think that a wedding is about more than just the bride and groom. but from the posts here, i'm obviously in the minority.

THat is the problem with a lot of weddings. It is just seen as the day, and all the trimmings just have to be so (and expensive). What is really important is the lifetime ahead, and that includes the immediate families.

When I got married, my mum called all the shots. She was paying and that was that. I was allowed to invite my own friends to the evening reception, but she was in charge of the main guestlist.

A marriage includes the families-the wedding is about the bride and groom with others in very much a supporting role.

I agree that a marriage often brings together two famillies, some more than others of course, but actual the wedding day isn't really about anyone other than the couple.

It's hard to say without knowing what's going on though. Are your DC's not in the wedding party and his side are?

I loathe weddings.

I think when you look at a wedding you need to consider it in a similar way to any other party.

Sure, someone has a great party but the best hosts don't think it's all about them. They have a party which is all about the guests.

your children will not become cousins to your sisters, sil children though, surely?

So your saying, for example, your husbands brothers kids, ie your sisters new nieces / nephews, become your kids cousins

No they don't, any children you have are cousins of your sisters children yes, but your husbands siblings kids are not cousins of your kids, only your sisters - very confusing, thank f**k my family keep themselves to themselves, as that is tooooo confusing for an adult let alone kids!!!

Its like those families that have "aunties", that turn out ot be friends of the family

The wedding day is a joining of 2 people, through love, and if they decide such, to go on and create their own family, family are merely there to witness the event and to pay their respects to the relationship, not run the show

no weddings happening around me, :( i adore weddings personally, but everyone i know is either already married, or wont be getting married, or too young to get married. :(

i'm just soo tired of hearing about all the crap that some people put up with on mn about weddings. the stories about bridezillas or mil's etc etc are really annoying me. people ruining relationships with each other over one day? if the bride and groom actually are important to each other, then surely they wont fail to realsie that actually other people are important too, yet this is what i hear on mn consistently. this isnt a thread about a thread, but about all wedding threads ive read over a period of time.
to think that only the main players are important, whilst the supporting ones can go sod off is selfish to say the least, imo.

What Kerry said. :o

If the "main players" are pahying for it, them TBH of course they are entitled to bloody well have their say

I have to agree that in other circumstances where its a big parent hand out job, itds oput of order to spend others money and not let them have a say

But from personal experience, we, my husband and myself, paid for our wedding, so what we said went, if you want to organise a wedding, bleeding well organise your own I say!!

Yes but Kerry that's no attitude to host a party with is it?

It depends if you want the other people THERE or not. If you're inviting them then you make it about them just as you would any other scenario.

If you don't, then by all means just have a good day by yourselves.

I hope DP feels the same as me because if he wants a big do, I shan't marry him!