Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think its irresponsible for my OH to leave our 2 yr old downstairs on his own?

705 replies

YummyMummy1208 · 05/08/2010 09:47

Argh!

I'm so angry with him rite now and generally since our little boy was born cos he just has no clue how to watch him properly but if i ever have a go at him its 'oh shes off again...' and switches off.

Is this just a general 'men' thing??

Thismorning is a prime example, hes been taking over morning duties of late due to me being 7 month pregnant so thismorning he takes DS1 downstairs and then i can hear him saying 'So r u gonna stay downstairs and be a good boy while Daddy has a shower?' now forgive me if im being unreasonable but surely im not the only one here thinking you dont leave a 2.5 yr old downstairs - on his own - while u go upstairs to have a shower??

Whats everyones opinion on this one - Am i being unreasonable to have a go at OH??

OP posts:
lenak · 05/08/2010 13:49

Haven't read the entire thread, just the first couple and last couple of pages, but think the OP is being a little BU.

It really does depend on the child though - I have been able to leave my DD downstairs on her own while I had a quick shower since she was about 18 months old - but then she has always had a very high level of comprehension and does what she is told.

Obviously I started off with much shorter times and built up, but as long as I made it VERY clear where I was going, that she was not allowed to climb the stairs and that she had to call me if she needed anything, she was fine.

Since we removed the stairgate at the top of the stairs when she was 2.5, she's been allowed to come up and down the stairs on her own if we were upstairs and she was down too.

But as I said, she has excellent comprehension and is very very good - on the other hand, if she was like her cousin she still wouldn't be allowed out of my sight

Original poster
YummyMummy1208 · 05/08/2010 13:51

if u re-read thru u will see that i only started getting 'all irate' after people started insulting.

Do you think i should have just sat back and took all the abusive comments then? How would any 'normal' 'non irate' person hav responded??

OP posts:
IMoveTheStars · 05/08/2010 13:52

laxi-daisy?

Maybe he's not as clenched as you are, and happy to let his 2.5yo son walk up and down the stair by himself!

If your DS is so used to you hovering over him in case he bumps himself, what's he going to think when the new baby comes along and you're not able to do this?

OrmRenewed · 05/08/2010 13:52

Oh I give up. I was trying to be nice.

Blahrahrah · 05/08/2010 13:53

I have read to the end so far and ~I would just like to say well done to the OP. You came on here and got a pasting, and yet you still came back and took on board peoples comments and have now made a plan to try and change things. When something is going wrong all you CAN do is try to change and you have made steps toward that so well done.

It is hard letting the kids make mistakes and it is infuriating when you have, for example, done a zillion nappy changes so have a 'way' of doing it that works best/causes least upset and then your DH wades in and does it differently and you just want to jump in and shout NO do it this way then this will/wont happen etc etc. But he is a parent too and will develop his own style and way of parenting. As parents it is possible to have different ways and still have a happy healthy relationship between both you two and you and your children.

Good luck and I hope you and your family have harmonious times ahead. Good Luck with the birth.

nelix2000 · 05/08/2010 13:53

YABU.....very....I leave my 3.5 yr old and my 14 month old downstairs whislt I pop for a shower. Maybe a second baby will help you....."chillax" since you seem to understand that lingo.

Now,for a university graduate, you cannot spell for toffee.....its a DRAWER not "draw".....I never ever post on AIBU but this irritated me no end. Good day.

IMoveTheStars · 05/08/2010 13:54

No Yummy, you started getting irate when the vast majority said YABU.

StewieGriffinsMom · 05/08/2010 13:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 05/08/2010 13:55

Jareth - I know, like nails down a blackboard that one.

Look Yummy. Clearly you think that you are Right In All Things. So here we are.

Your DP is an idiot and a crap parent
We are all nasty women (or maybe men in disguise)
You are quite right that txtspeak is the future and we old fuddy-duddys should stop typing in proper sentences.

Blahrahrah · 05/08/2010 13:56

(when I say she had made a plan I was ignoring all the other argy bargy going on but she HAS made one! )

milliemoosmum · 05/08/2010 13:57

Nor read all the posts but you NEED to childproof your house better. You say you go upstairs to do your make-up - it would only take a minute for your DS to cut himself on a knife in the kitchen/open the front door etc.
I would also remind DP about shutting gates etc - he loves his child but everyone makes mistakes which is exactly why you should have your house as safe as possible. You could also leave a gate open one day by mistake - it happens to the best of us. Believe me when you have two kids you will not be able to watch DS like a hawk like you have been doing so far.
DP should be contributing to the things you need for DS which is, perhaps, a seperate issue but there are always safety gates going on Freecycle and cupblocks are very inexpensive so there's no excuse really.

nancy10 · 05/08/2010 13:57

yummymummy like your OH we are in a no win situation, people have responded to your issue and you don't like the fact that the majority disagree. Sensible suggestions have been made. Ok. so you can't afford a stair gate, how about just closing the door, to the 'danger zones.' You can even put a lock on the door. You have put yourself in this situation, by argueing constantly with what everyone has said. Get some common sense!!!!!

Oblomov · 05/08/2010 14:00

Only 95 % being horrible ? Are you sure its not 99% ?
so everyone is being horrible to you. no one offering words of comfort at all. well thats not true. wasn't it stewie who wrote something really nice. you've had lots of valid suggestions.

but even if that is the case. then i think you need to have a look at that. 95% of a varied population, some of sahm's some of us working, some of us young, some of us older. we are ALL telling you YABU. oh so its not us then. not the 95%. it must be you. its you who is being hard done to.

yeah right. rock on. open your eyes lovey.

SixtyFootDoll · 05/08/2010 14:01

Agree with Nancy.
Why did you ask if you were being unreasonable as you clearly dont think you are?

Original poster
YummyMummy1208 · 05/08/2010 14:04

nancy10 - our DS can open every door in our house.

I am getting no sense out of people on here. i really did think this was a useful helpful place to air concerns but have just been jumped on and trampled to death over an issue i wanted to discuss.

people have just turned things around and blamed me for getting irate when i never did until people started with the bad mouthing comments sayinf i feel sorry for ur OH!! - y say it this way? some of you have been lovely - very few may i add - and thank you for your suggestions but i shall think twice before putting anything else on this site as its mostly full of unhelpful people looking to insult or upset the person needing advice.

totally uncalled for from most of you.

OP posts:
TheButterflyEffect · 05/08/2010 14:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

milliemoosmum · 05/08/2010 14:05

I obviously meant cupboard.
Like someone else said you could screw a slide lock on the kitchen door for when one of you has to leave DS. Very cheap and easy to do - even a little lady like me could do it lol.

BonniePrinceBilly · 05/08/2010 14:06

I was being mean, but you deserve it. And I notice you didn't answer when I pointed out about the lies contradictions evident in your posts?

Oblomov · 05/08/2010 14:06

troll ?

or atleast not listening.

why are we bothering. let Op go. it is pointless.

milliemoosmum · 05/08/2010 14:06

locks

knickers0nmyhead · 05/08/2010 14:06

yummy, if your ds was learning to ride a bike and fell off it, would you take it off him?

Doubtful, so why stop letting him go up the stairs because he fell down them?

knickers0nmyhead · 05/08/2010 14:07

yummy, if your ds was learning to ride a bike and fell off it, would you take it off him?

Doubtful, so why stop letting him go up the stairs because he fell down them?

grapeandlemon · 05/08/2010 14:07

Gosh you sound absolutely awful. Your poor Partner.

YellowDaffodil · 05/08/2010 14:07

Yummy - has your DS ever been hurt (apart from the window incident) when he is with your OH on his own?

Casmama · 05/08/2010 14:07

I have already suggested this but will try again.
Why not post on relationships - you are more likely to get constructive advice and if you don't insult others it is unlikely that you will be insulted either. AIBU is always a risky place to post if you are looking for constructive advice.