to think its irresponsible for my OH to leave our 2 yr old downstairs on his own?

[YummyMummy1208]

Argh!

I'm so angry with him rite now and generally since our little boy was born cos he just has no clue how to watch him properly but if i ever have a go at him its 'oh shes off again...' and switches off.

Is this just a general 'men' thing??

Thismorning is a prime example, hes been taking over morning duties of late due to me being 7 month pregnant so thismorning he takes DS1 downstairs and then i can hear him saying 'So r u gonna stay downstairs and be a good boy while Daddy has a shower?' now forgive me if im being unreasonable but surely im not the only one here thinking you dont leave a 2.5 yr old downstairs - on his own - while u go upstairs to have a shower??

Whats everyones opinion on this one - Am i being unreasonable to have a go at OH??

Wish I had OP's job.

Yummy when you join a community it is customary to observe usual practice in methods of communication etc.

It's been outlined why txtspeak is unwelcome on MN, so it is quite rude of you to continue.

Also

"I havent asked anyone to participate in this discussion"

"Whats everyones opinion on this one"

FFS.

great isnt it unfit. Spending an entire day on the net

We aren't being horrible if we think YABU, just honest.

You have been given some good advice but you seem to choose to ignore it and focus on the negative.

You are pregnant and apparently unhappy - you need to talk to your OH and if he is truely incapable of helping you to raise your children (there may be more to this than you are saying) then you need to seriously consider your options.

Oh, dear.

Look. You're saddled with a man who doesn't do any one-on-one care with his son, doesn't pay for any of the child's expenses despite earning more than you, and would rather sit on the computer/watch TV than spend time reading a book to his child.

But on the other hand, you're locked in a cycle of resentment that means you would rather score points than spend money of your own determining your child's safety, you pick up on every single thing your partner does wrong, and far more importantly

why the sodding hell are you having a second child with someone whose parenting you loathe? Seriously, come on. You "don't feel the need to combine bank accounts" but you keenly resent every penny that you spend and he doesn't. You don't feel the need to childproof, but keenly resent that he doesn't. You want him to pull his finger out because you're heavily pregnant, but your OP is based on complaining that he didn't give you the son to look after while he showered - has it occurred to you, you ridiculous woman, that he did it that way precisely because he was trying to give you a rest?

And your attitude to posters here is exactly the same. You want advice, sympathy, points of view, but only from the people you choose and only if their views accord with your sense of What Is Appropriate.

Here's a tip. You are not, in fact, in charge of the world. Grow up.

I leave my 2 year odl downstairs while I shower or else Id not get one! I leave the bathroom door open, and he generally follows me in anyway.

Posting on an open forum is in fact asking for people to participate in a discussion. What did you think it was, installation art?

I'd like to know what poly university you graduated from so I can avoid it in future.

1/2 tortoise - what you said in bold is exactly what i was thinking, but didn't dare say.

i note that the op ignored my earlier post. i have some sympathy & she's clearly unhappy, but she's also ignoring anyone who doesn't just say 'oh poor you, you're right'

let's put it down to pregnancy hormones & move on.

Thank you kickassangel for actually responding in a sensible way to my conerns raised.

Sorry, it must be down to the fact i have a maths degree and not an english one and therefore cannot spell correctly.

Moving on, we do have lots of issues raised since DS was born - biggest one being our huge difference in parenting. I really do want to learn to be as laxi-daisy as him but cant make myself let go!

i think maybe i should take it one step at a time, trying to bite my tongue along the way when i would usually step in and take over from OH. you;re rite, i have never let him learn all those mistakes that i got to learn so early on and this is what needs to happen its just holding myself back long enough for them to occur! Its hard work!

My DS does know how to get up and down the stairs, has done for months but after i watched him roll down the stairs from mid way last month its scared me a little and i dont want it happening again as i think i was more upset than him!

I know they all need to have these accidents happen to learn from mistakes but its still hard watching them happen knowing you could have prevented them.

I do feel maybe i reacted a bit ott thismorning on OH and plan to try make an effort to let him control things now and then without stepping in like i usually do. it must make him feel absolutely useless i know, im not completely stupid even if some of u think i am we hav just gotten into a rut and need help getting back on track.

think some of you have been quite harsh but i turned a blind eye to the silly comments and have read into the others and can see how i was being (slightly!) unreasonable but still, we really need to stairgate the kitchen and top of stairs. maybe then ill be able to let go a bit more and OH will start learning for himself.

sorry, x-post, but you do need to stand back, take a deep breath & sort this out. you will go mad if you don't & ruin a potentially happy family.

Y'know, I think it's good that the OP has her DS wrapped up in so much cotton wool - it'll come in useful for changing nappies when the baby is born.

Seriously though, I really think that you need to think realistically about how you are going to cope with a toddler and a baby.

OP you are coming across as a nightmare...largely because YOU DO NOT LISTEN!

I'll answer your question about mumsnet apprieviations and textspeak.

1)It's a snooty thing, yes it's true everyone so don't deny it

2)It's actually very hard to read - no caps, puncuation, odd spellings

3)It's cringey

4)It's irritating

Good! Sounds like a plan.

FWIW I think some of us have been a bit harsh but I'm afraid MN can be like that.

'you ridiculous woman'

' You are not, in fact, in charge of the world. Grow up'

'I'd like to know what poly university you graduated from so I can avoid it in future. '

Just a few comments selected from this page let alone the other 8 but u say 'People are disagreeing with you. They aren't being mean. You need to learn to differentiate between the two.'

Please, educate away as id love to know how this isnt 'being mean'

punctuation

OP - You have made some less than pleasant comments yourself to be fair.

Why don't you pick out the good advice and focus on that?

No-one was being mean, until you started getting all irate about the fact that no-one was agreeing with you, and refusing to alter you typing so that everyone can read it properly.
And now you are using it as justification for getting even further on your high horse.

Honestly - if this is the way you go through life no wonder your DP says 'here she goes again'.

Hilarious thread.
I like a a good bun fight with my lunch,

That sounds like a good plan StarlightMcKenzie but OH has no money until payday mid month so he will just moan and say he hasnt got money to pay for it, plus he thinks theyr a waste of time anyway so trying to get him to spend his last £20 on something he thinks useless will be hard.

Ill just have to buy it myself and like someone else suggested have him pay more towards another necessity that he agrees with.

I was just popping onto babies r us actually to see what they have on there!

'Y'know, I think it's good that the OP has her DS wrapped up in so much cotton wool - it'll come in useful for changing nappies when the baby is born.' - How is this useful?

My child is nowhere near wrapped in cotton wool.