To think members of the public should let me make safety decisions for my own children?

[nikki1978]

I am not one of those mums who won't let their child go on a climbing frame alone for fear they might fall off but neither am I neglectful. Yet when out if I let my DC climb on a wall without holding their hand, climb up steep grass verges or do anything that involves the tiniest amount of risk people are forever rushing up to the kids saying are you ok, then looking at me and asking is he/she ok? I am clearly standing there supervising them doing something but personally feel they are having fun doing it and obsessive hovering is not necessary. I often get "oh aren't you brave, I would be terrified to let my DC do that" or "Isn't that a bit dangerous?". Er no it is not dangerous you judgemental, overprotective, giant freak!

Oh rant over

OMG I think I just found the thread of my dreams!

We were at the Zoo today - DS (3) riding his scooter on a low wall, minding his own business, and had been doing this (completely unharmed, I may add!) for half an hour, when this complete loon comes up and picks him off the wall saying 'where is your mother, poor boy?' (I was standing, ooh, 15 feet away, strapping his sister into the baby bjorn) and then proceeds to tell me that 'he's terrifying the zoo workers'. Um, hello?!??! He is THREE, he is completely CAPABLE of riding his bike on a low wall, I was standing RIGHT THERE and as far as I know, they don't hand out BUBBLE WRAP at the zoo entrance to stop people getting injured.

The truly 'funny' thing about this is that I have a father who is brain damaged from a skiing accident... and I still want my children to have a normal childhood, do normal childish things...

OK, rant over.

And breather

ooh I love this thread.

TLE - random thing, flat pepsi was probably quite good for your post-puke DS. I've heard some Drs etc actually recommend, when you have D&V-type bugs, getting a bottle of coke, shaking it 'til it goes flat, then drinking it. no idea why though!

Ah yes and sitting reading a magazine at toddler group [well it was very boring otherwise] I became aware of some grumbling apparently aimed at me about my child [maybe 2.5 at the time] Gasp! climbing on a chair! I went over asked her not to do that whilst lifting her off and went back to my magazine.
Bad, bad, bad mummy. Most of the others used to helicopter madly and probably hindered their children's developement

When DS was about 20 mths some radom old man at my nan's care home started to i've me a lecture that rough play was bad for a baby under 18mths. DH and DS were having a litle tickle sessions.
I had been warned about this man, who according to all the lovelies who live with nan was a 'god awful know it all' now I really don't like being rude to my elders but I did respond with 'well its a good thing he isn't' and walked off. Aggggghhh

aaand my PITA neighbour stopped me in the street one day and told me that DS has a cough (her bedroom is next to his on the other side so she hears him) and that i should really be giving him water. Yeah coz me and DH are just lying in bed ignoring him!

Hahaha at this thread.

chippin ta for that - so I am not going mad then? (dont answer that)

Does this mean we can all admit to our terrible, neglectful parenting (I was going to say laiza faire but I cant spell it).

My DS2 went to a local preschool. Out side was a little railing. It was the kind they put up to stop kids running straight out into the road.

So all the kids liked to climb and swing on it. It was about two foot high. My DS was the only child allowed to play on it. The gasps and chest clutching that went on when he swung round was something to behold!

There was also a thread on the 'other' forum about a poor child who died after falling off a railing at a supermarket. Without wishing to get into the politics of the story, the responsed from poster where incredible.

The majority were absolutly horrified that the child was allowed to play on anything and it was the mothers fault for being so neglectful

I must live on another planet

This has been the funniest hread ever

I'm expecting first, so now i know what to expect.

My fave thing to happen was when i was walking with a friend and her 3 year old in park in Moscow, Russia - it was a lovely spring day - and quite sunny. Anyhow - a russian old lady shuffled up, PULLED a wooly hat out of the top bit of the buggy and stuffed it on my friend's kids head. The kid screamed, my friend screamed... the russian lady babbled about the kid catching her death, and I just doubled over laughing!

What I can't understand is if there are all these concerned members of the public out there critising parents, what are they all doing when things like Baby P and that poor girl starving in Birmingham are going on??

I am going to ask the next nosy parker who gives me unsolicited advice

very good point mrsjt, they should save their efforts for the real cases.

mrsdevere - I believe it's laissez faire from laisser 'to leave' and faire 'to do' HTH

MrsJT, it's because serious abuse usually happens behind closed doors and is perpetrated by people who have the skills to disguise their actions.

Benign neglect happens in public and we freely admit to it so we are fair game I'm afraid.

I've lost count of the times I've been asked why I'm not pacifying a toddler of my own or in my care who's having a full blown tantrum in the middle of Tesco. Of course it would be a good idea to give him what he wants to shut him up - after all he'll never to it again then will he? Grrrrr!

My DSs were in the local park with scooters recently. They are 5 and 3 and pretty competent scooterers. A mad old bat went up to DS1 (5) and said, "That is bloody dangerous. I am going to report you!" DS reported the whole thing (bloody and all) to me!

They were in sight the whole time and nothing remotely out of order was going on.

OTOH I was on the tube a couple of weeks ago when it was roasting hot. And I saw a small baby in a full on winter babygro with a wooolly hat. I didn't say anything, but was sorely tempted to.

My neighbours in my village are always moaning as my kids climb the trees. We don't have a play park near by our house and live in the middle of nowhwere. They play happily together and are doing no harm but we still get adults being rude to them and no a days I tell the kids if they dont talk respectfully to you then feel free to talk back the same way to them....i'm fed up of over protective buzybodies thinking they own the own blummin village...I pay the road rates too so dont my kids get to play ourside there own home with everyone minding their own blummin business!!!

CupcakesHay, the only thing I would say to you is to trust your instincts - you may be surprised in fact what you would rather your children didn't do. And that's OK.

For example, I love this thread and am super slack on a lot of physical things, to the point where actually I am really pushing it - luckily ds is strong, active and cautious, so makes up for me. I get a lot of 'tellings off' from other parents and most of the time I couldn't give a toss, i know what ds is capable of. But there are some things I am not relaxed about, and one of them is the sea - if ds is within 10 feet of the sea I am with him, full stop, all the time.

I guess I'd want parents to helicopter their own parents if they feel they want to - and actually I am happy for people to talk to ME about stuff they are not happy for ds to be doing, but FGS don't tell my SON he's doing wrong by climbing a tree which is all of 3 feet above the grass, if he falls, he falls!

helicopter their own parents?? i mean helicopter their own children!

fedup - if I weren't such a wimp I would've been sorely tempted to march right back up to the 'old bat' and say I was reporting her for saying 'bloody' to my 5yo! how rude!

(who exactly was she planning on reporting them to anyway?)

Today, in a charity shop, the woman running the place said of my sleeping daughter:

Wow, she's really hanging out of the end there, isn't she? How old is she, look at how long those legs are! Gosh, she's really getting too big for that buggy, isn't she? She looks quite uncomfortable.

She's 20 months old. She is 50%ile for height. I did not force her to fall asleep. If it's considered irresponsible parenting to allow a not-even-two year old to nap in a buggy, I give up.

We don't let our two (DS is 5, DD is almost 2.5) play outdoors unsupervised...primarily because

1. our neighbors have rather large dogs running loose and
2. we live on a bend in the road, and you can't see what's there until you're on top of it. (Well, that and people on the road drive as if it's a race or something.)

I practice the normal parenting safety: hold hands and look both ways crossing the street, don't run on the sidewalk by the road (my two are clumsy, what can I say), don't go into the road (see: crazy drivers), and for the love of Pete, don't try to reach for the pots when I'm cooking!

They're at liberty to tromp up and down the stairs to play, holding the rail or not. We don't panic when it starts raining (I'm the one who goes out to watch the lightning, so...wait, bad example), in fact, I encourage them to get wet. They'll dry! We get good and filthy outside, look at bugs, play in the dirt, and generally have a grand time.

(Mostly, I worry about spiders. But that's only because I'm terrified of them. On webs, away from me, no. Otherwise, ye gods!)

There's an advert here in the States where the mother wraps her children in bubble wrap before they leave the house. Sometimes, I think people would do that if it wouldn't look completely stupid.

any of you watch the apprentice?
a couple of years back one of the tasks was to choose some child-related products and sell them at the Baby Show. one of the products was a padded helmet for babies/toddlers. not for those with serious medical conditions a la Petr Cech (Chelsea Goalie who due to a previous injury could die from a whack on the head) - oh no, just your average crawling, toddling child who heaven forbid might bump their noggin on the table

DH and I were watching like this

I'm not sure they sold any though.

I went to Buggyfit this morning and OK, it wasn't roasting hot by any means. But really, fellow exercising mother, did you need to wrap up your DD in a woolly hat, thick coat, 3 blankets and a furry lining for the pushchair? I really don't think so. No wonder she was pushing the blankets off every time you diligently wrapped her back up...

shopping in supermarkets, often i turn a corner and dd does not. we are now, horror of horrors, in.seperate.aisles.
cue announcemets over tannoys, grabbing of bemused childs hands asking if she is ok.
i should be arrested.

I would've thought the strangers grabbing your child's hands should be arrested. I mean heavens above what if they are dodgy

Do you mean these MMM?

I know someone who bought one for her son. Best thing was he wasn't even her PFB but her 3rd!

I let my 6 year old and nearly 8 year old walk home from school without me. It is a quiet road in a rural village, and both myself and their headmaster are perfectly happy with the arrangement. However many other parents are practically phoning Social Services as they think it is such an irresponsible thing to do!

yes! that's the ones.

seriously.

why.

funny on one level, but on another I'm that these people are making profit out of parent paranoia

A woman got off her bike and crossed the road to tell me that DD would catch cold as a whole one and a half inches of bare leg was showing.

The rest of her was in perfectly suitable layers, she was in a baby-sling and it was August.

I was at the park yesterday with my 4 dc's and my niece so believe me I was trying my hardest to make sure everyone was ok. All of a sudden big cafuffle this gran shouting at my is this your child ? Slinks over 'err yes' OMG she says she has just put a handful of sand in her mouth. 'oh' I said 'I bet that doesn't taste nice' and gave her mouth a bit of a wipe on the bottom of my rather nice maxi dress.

The gran is questions jaw almost hit the floor at my inattention! Honestly what did she expect me to do?