To think members of the public should let me make safety decisions for my own children?

[nikki1978]

I am not one of those mums who won't let their child go on a climbing frame alone for fear they might fall off but neither am I neglectful. Yet when out if I let my DC climb on a wall without holding their hand, climb up steep grass verges or do anything that involves the tiniest amount of risk people are forever rushing up to the kids saying are you ok, then looking at me and asking is he/she ok? I am clearly standing there supervising them doing something but personally feel they are having fun doing it and obsessive hovering is not necessary. I often get "oh aren't you brave, I would be terrified to let my DC do that" or "Isn't that a bit dangerous?". Er no it is not dangerous you judgemental, overprotective, giant freak!

Oh rant over

[edam]

(I do let ds get cold and wet, though, catching a cold won't kill him and will boost his immune system.)

[edam]

Sorry but children are more likely to develop a cold if they are cold and wet. Because there are lots of cold germs around and those you catch are more likely to affect you if you are cold and wet. Sometimes things that are dismissed as old wives' tales are true. They were just sneered at because it's only women. Until the big important and mostly male scientists bothered to check. (At the Common Cold Research Centre if you want to look it up.)

I do put ds to bed with damp hair, though, otherwise we'd be waiting for ages after his bath. And it's positively good for them in hot weather, to cool them down.

I don't hover over ds in the park and I have been allowing him to walk on walls since he was tiny BUT I wouldn't let him scoot on a wall. Scooters are designed for the ground. Surely scooting on a wall is dangerous? Walls are narrow.

[lauzb]

My own mother is pretty bad - "you can't take DS' stabilisers off his bike - he will fall off"

Erm...yes, he probably will mum...but he also needs to learn to ride without them, besides falling off is part of learning to ride a bike!

Grrrrrrrr

[Ipom]

Ahhhhm Sonic, that quite sweet.

[SonicMiddleAge]

Slightly off topic, but excellent helicoptering: after my grandad had had a fall, I went round to cook him some meals to put in the fridge and reheat. He told to me to call him when I got to the bit that I needed to use the big knife to cut the cheese off the block, and then again when I needed to light the gas hob. I was appraoching thirty at the time.

[Snobear4000]

I am so pleased this thread is still alive as hopefully some judgey-pants safety-heads out there will read it and start to develop some common sense.

Ipom, I love your post. Had I not lived in the UK for many years I would have thought it a pack of lies but after raising a child here, everything you said is believable. Sad times indeed.

You should have seen the palava when DS picked his nose and it bled a tiny bit at gymnastics. I had to fill out three forms.

[Ipom]

sorry, I got carried away.

[Ipom]

OMG I love this thread!

Where to start...

I was told that ds (9mths at the time) was too big to be in a pram and should be walking the mile and a half to dd's playgroup.

Told that I am a useless and negletful mother because I let the kids play in MY back garden which is fenced off and a gate installed, because I am not out there with them every minute of the day. The windows are open and I can hear every word said by them and by others.

I was shouted at for not hovering by the kids when they are at opposite sides of the playground?????

When I let them play on the front garden, with all thier mates and they go in and out of each others houses and gardens.

Because my son likes to walk around the house naked.

Because he refuses to wear a belt and his trousers fall down halfway down the street (although it has amused more people than annoyed)

Because I let my 9 year old go on the field at the back of the house, which I can see the enitre field from her bedroom window.

For letting her have the bedroom on the thrid floor of the house.. umm, the house is built on a slope, it's two stories at the front and 3 at the back.

because the boy goes out in the rain without a coat sometimes.

Because I let my kids splash in the puddles and am a bad example because I encourage them to do it.

Beacuse I had a dog in the house when they were babies

Beacuse I didnt see the point in sterelising the bottles once they were crawling because of the dog and they were drinking and eating out of the dog bowl whenever I forgot to pick them up off the floor. Again not often.

Because I let the dog sniff them

Because I let the dog play with them

Because I let them sleep on the dog, and that was only once, the dog was happy about it and refused to move if the kids were playing ner him, so I didnt see the problem.

Because I let the kids play on the slide at school when they are not insured so they should be allowed? WTF?

Because I let them climb the trees in the garden, and eat the fruit they pick of the bushes.

Oh and the best one...


Ready for this?


I let them eat too much fruit and that gem was from (drumroll please) the kids reception teacher!

Shall I go on?

[MrsKarpet]

Sorry to divert from original thread slightly but my own post has just reminded me of something similar which winds me up....!

Went for walk round lake last week day after rain. DD (3) wearing wellies trousers etc as outside in country and anticipating some puddles and larking about. Lots of families kids and dogs having day out. Was so sad to see how many little girls were walking round in sundresses and white socks and sandals having to avoid/and or being told to avoid running anywhere, climbing anything or jumping up and down in muddy puddles (you get my drift).

Why do parents dress their girls in such innapropriate clothing for walks and parks ??? I get told my DD is 'such a tomboy' My reply is actually she is just being what is known as 'a child'.

Sorry rant over. I like pretty dresses too just not little ones being hampered by their own bloomin clothes :)

[MrsKarpet]

Hmmm I would think that if my dc's went to a park when it was or had been raining and didn't come back with muddy bums I would wonder what they had actually been doing there....just sitting on a bench maybe? Is a wet/muddy bum such a bad thing? If so then soft play is better than outside. Then again a wet bum does slow you down a bit on the slide, I sometimes took a towel just to dry it off - for speed more than anything.

Re original post, my little one climbed the big slide when she was 9 months old, clever girl - proud mummy, and not a single helicopter telling me off which was nice I have been asked a few times re baby in sling if I'm not worried she will fall out....???

[rumpleteaser]

Oh my word - I thought it was just Bulgaria. Here they don't expose babies to the outside world til they're 2 months old so you can understand my need to learn how to say "bugger off you nosy old bat" in Bulgarian!

I have been told so many many times now that my child needs socks, hats, blankets, he should be indoors, he has hiccups because I've let him get cold and now he's ill, I've even had my baby snatched from my arms by an interfering aunt and thrust back into his pram under blankets.
It's been 30+ degrees here since my baby was born 3 months ago!

I had a woman tell my pram wasn't warm enough, I had 2 old bats in a supermarket tell me off cos my baby was 'sunburnt'(he is not), I've been told to close my car windows because a draft will kill my baby..
I ended up a nervous wreck unable to leave the house without spare hats and jackets that never get worn as it's too hot for my baby even in just his nappy!
If I had £1 (2 leva) for every time I hear an old woman gasp "that baby's naked"... I'd be able to buy lots more hats!
I would never ever dream of telling another mother any such nonsense like this and I expect when my son is bigger I will have to go every where with one of those ridiculous Thud guard hats!!! those poor toddlers don't half look daft.

[thefirstmrsDeVere]

I used to put my christmas tree in the playpen.

But that was to protect the tree not the kids

[UniS]

in our local rec the parents do seem generally to be discouraging climbing up the big slide- because its tunnel slide with a bend in so the kids at top can't see there is a small climbing up at the bottom. some smalls are still not getting the idea even after being squashed by bigs several times.

Various bigs are experimenting with sliding down the outside of teh tunnel slide. eagerly copied by some middles who promptly fall off side ways as their legs aren't long enough to keep them stable. Thank goodness for thick wood chip.

Today my small was merrily kicking the bigs who had chosen to lie down under the nest swing, they didn't seem to mind too much and could have moved if they wanted to. Bless them they ( the bigs , boys of 13-16) were even singing "on the good ship lollipop" for him while he swung)

[SpeedyGonzalez]

Visiter -

[SpeedyGonzalez]

Smellybear that is HILARIOUS!!! Stairgates around the Xmas tree!!!!

[MathsMadMummy]

"Ofsted are very keen on more children falling from trees"

QUICK!!! call the daily mail!

smellybear it makes me very sad when childrens' parents are so scared of everything that it 'infects' the children themselves, like my DH's DDs and their mum, they won't try anything new, it's quite frustrating.

thanks for the replies about the slide thing. yes, I can see how it could be rude - I make it very clear that if somebody is waiting she has to let them down first. and yes, the mud thing is more about not wanting her to get dirt on the slide so other kids get muddy bums! unfortunately the only way onto the big slide at our park is up the actual slide, the ladder bit is really huge and is the only thing at that park that DD can't manage yet.

[smellybear]

Dont get me started on this one, a "friend" of mine is literally terrified of everything and has mangaged to infest her children with it, so much so that they are afraid of everything - other children, animals and even their own toys!

Every day I'm told of another thing that could kill my children or how to be more aware of hot drinks/climbing/running/choking etc. The attitude is pretty much summed up by their house - 7 SAFETY GATES and at xmas one AROUND THE TREE!!

My MIL is the same too my neice used to say to herself "careful, careful" all the time when she was younger. Apparently going out of the patio door is dicing with death! As is fun. Funnily enough the neice and nephew she looks after all the time are frustrated and unable to do anything for themselves.

[thefirstmrsDeVere]

I recently moved my DS from his mainstream school to a special needs one.

His old school had a very good (on paper) reputation. Loads of resources blardly blah.

I found them cold and unhelpful. Hence the move.

Anyhoo.

They seem to get loads of money for landscaping. Every long holiday they add a new feature. They have lovely plant tubs, a gazebo, a water feature, a big play house, a hill with a wooden slide/climbing house thingy, a climbing frame with stepping stones and climbing nets etc.

Everytime they added one of these exciting things we would get a newletter explaining that we should not be allowing our children to play on them before and after school. The play house was taped off for a year, the rest of the equipment can not be used if it has rained in the previous 24 hours etc etc.

So the kids are not actually allowed to play on these things. They look lovely for the Ofstead and in the prospectus.

[DitaVonCheese]

But old people are so soft

[TiggyD]

"Risk Taking" is a hot thing in childcare at the moment and Ofsted are very keen on more children falling from trees. Learning to manage risks is an important skill. If you want to climb a tree branch teach them to think what could happen. A branch overhanging grass is safer than one overhanging railings, concrete or old people.

[theyoungvisiter]

and btw, I've just realised it is that time of the month.

[SpeedyGonzalez]

Phew! I hate getting into spats!

Yes, 'chill' is definitely irritating...but when someone tells me it on MN I usually go: "feck off!" under my breath, and then re-read the posts and go: "oh, right, yeah, I see what you mean". So I'm sorry for using such a crap phrase with you! Next time I should probably just write what I mean in longhand!

[theyoungvisiter]

Oh speedy don't go - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get at you.

But you must admit that being told to chill is a leetle annoying It's kind of the equivalent of being asked if it's "that time of the month."

Let's shake and make up - so what if you let your kids climb up the slide and I don't - it's hardly an insurmountable ideological divide

We are both agreed that members of the public should let us make our own safety decisions, which is the more important issue after all!

[SpeedyGonzalez]

Good grief, tye, you are very oversensitive. You said: "SPeedy, I don't think I'm overanalysing it thanks ", which clearly indicates that you were irritated.

I'm not going to sit here and justify myself; I have better things to do with my time.

[Nancy66]

I was in the post office recently and had a debate with myself for about 5 mins over whether to say something to a mother.

Very young mum had plastic rain covers totally fastened over her baby - who looked about 8 months old. Wasn't raining and was about stifling hot in London - must have been about 100 degrees under those plastic sheets.

fuck it - I said something. She wasn't happy but she did undo the covers.