To just fucking give up with my devil toddler

[monkeyfacegrace]

She is 3.

Total meltdown because her fork was the wrong size to eat her pasta with

Hysterical because their was a leaf on the strawberry on the picture on the side of her yoghurt

Wont sit at the table because she wants to sit on the sofa.

Devestated because Mr Maker isnt on, and she does not want to do anything else.

So fuck it. Im on my laptop. She has a bottle, yes a bottle of lemonade. No added sugar at that.

As you were.

LOL

I'm sorry, I know it's hard.

Three year olds are the spawn of evil and rest in the knowledge that she will never be as irrational as this again.

She needs a long bubble bath and a VERY early night!

can't help with the yoghurt - but with the fork - let her choose between two before you start - then she is in control (a bit) and has nothing to tantrum about.

Try and give her a little bit of choice about stuff during the day then she will feel as if she is taking an active part and may be less likely to tantrum (won't work when she is tired though).

My sympathy - toddlers do not seem very rational to adults. It will pass in time (mine are 7 and 9 now and it seems (mostly) a very long time ago ).

Pants.

DS is 2 next month.

I thought he was bad now, but am now very scared indeed!

I too feel your pain, we had total meltdown before when I offered DD cheese with her beans on toast.

smallwhitecat I'm getting alot of slapping at the moment too, any tips? My DD just starts crying at me when I tell her off?!

[chants] if she was hungry she would eat
.you make the rules so if you say no eating on the sofa, then no eating on the sofa it is. ( I never allow it - not worth the mess)
Leave her to it for a bit. No harm will come of it.

Oh God - DS is 18 months old and just lovely.

This is the calm before the storm, isn't it?!

She's somehow got the power here. I suspect it's because everything she does that you don't like, causes a massive reaction in you. It's bloody difficult, I know, because they know what strings to pull. The best thing to do is try and keep your cool, maintain your authority in a calm way and pick your battles (ignore the relatively minor stuff).

I know the sheer bloody frustration of it and many times my kids make me see and I have to consciously 'count to ten' before I react (calmly, through gritted teeth!). Not easy.

slapping - I recommend really overacting the pain.

Recoil, sit on the side of the sofa, maybe pretend to cry a bit.

I think if you soldier on and pretend you didn't feel anything they just assume you have a face of rock.

Can I swap her for my 14 yr old DD?

LOL

my 2 year old keeps on slapping me too

IT MAKES ME ANGRY!!!!

Christ its shit isn't. Getting them out of the way is good when you want to throttle them. You probably know all the usual tips/hints/rules. I always think my 2.3 DS KNOWS when he's drawn me into the head-fuck-ness of the power play. Good luck. 4 hours till bathtime.

Oh no, if DD laughed at me I think that would push me over the edge!

I just can't believe my child has the cheek to expect comfort when she's upset I shouted at her for slapping me.

I'm getting very bored of it now as well, same battle all the time.

I think they have to understand that their behaviour has consequences, but those consequences don't always have to be a telling off or the naughty step.

Sometimes it's enough of a consequence to let them see that they've really upset/hurt you.

Nothing like a bit of guilt - my mum had it down to a fine art and she was an ace parent

Re the slapping - catch her arm and hold it firmly down at her side, make eye contact if possible, and say 'No hitting/we don't hit people/words of your choice.'very sternly. She will almost definitely cry furiously but never mind that, it's only anger as opposed to real distress.
They do get better honestly

We have had a tough weekend too.

I am being out-smarted by a 3.9yo and almost 2yo. .

TYV My mum said something similar about showing emotion when they play up. She thought I was too calm when my 2 were naughty and said I should probably crack much sooner. I did manage it once and started crying and DS totally bucked his ideas up and couldn't be more helpful.

DD hits me in the face too. DS just screams and hollers and refuses to do anything I ask.

my 7 year old is the same so never gets any easier

Ahh she sounds like a typical 3 year old!!

When mine got like that I would do exactly the same as you-leave her alone for a bit.

I usually put them in front of a DVD covered with a blanket. (She might have a nap)
You both have a bit of space, and by the time the DVD is finished she should be in a better mood. If not, at least you will have had a little break.

If she is still "irritable"-is she tired/sickening for something/just being a 3 year old?

Good luck!

heather - pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease tell me you are joking?!

[hyperventilates]

Actually DS1 is 4.2 and getting nicer by the day so I really hope this upward trend continues.

Unfortunately DS2 is 20 months and getting naughtier by the day so they balance each other out. DS1 does enjoy doing his shocked face and saying disapprovingly "that was very naughty of DS2, wasn't it mummy?"

Its that she has this way of making me feel like an appauling mother.
This weekend we have been on long dog walks(her favourite), had picnics, played in the garden, eaten out at 2 resturants and let her have what she liked, baked cakes etc, so today was my day for tidying, changing beds etc.
But Im soooo awful for not playing with her/giving her undivided attention. She acts like she has no toys and is bored. I wanna scream to go play with the fucking hundred of toys in your room, in the living room, ask to watch a film, ANYTHING but winge whine moan and generally be a little snot filled sod!

SWC, you need to perfect the face. Madam knows that if I pull the face, that she is in big big trouble. I go silent. No shouting, no telling off, just stare silently.

But its not working today!