To Think that Babies don't Belong in Super-Swanky Restaurants?

[14hourstillbedtime]

I love babies (especially on toast). Also love the integrated Mediterranean-like culture over here that enfolds babies into everyday life (babies with meatballs? babies on marinated lamb?)

However, I still think there are some places Babies don't Belong, and one of these places is a make-up and high-heels uber swanky restaurant! Yesterday, DH and I (very over-excitedly) went out for only the second time since DC2 (3 months), and there, slap bang in the middle of the posh joint, was a four/five month old baby!! It was very delicious-looking, but I can't help but wish it hadn't been there...

So, Am I Being Unreasonable?!

Oh, FGS people!

I live in Berkeley - hippy central capital of the world! We sling-not-stroller, exlusive and extensive breast feed, blah blah blah... take baby and toddler everywhere... I still don't think they belong in Claridges-type restaurants.

And I have a severely mentally handicapped brother who would have a melt down and start biting himself if we took him to a very posh place... so we don't take him. He is an integral part of the family (of course! He's my brother!) but I don't think it's fair to him or to others to take him to a place he can't cope with (and we've tried....)

Right, sense of humour totally evaporated now.

Top class michelin star places should have certain times, maybe certain evenings ? when it is 'no child rule'.

This could work. possibly. then both those that wanted to take any aged baby, toddler, or older child could be accomodated. And also those that would prefer to eat without children, they too could be accomodated.

When I go top michelin star, with my mum, I like it to be no children. I am sure this is not a crime. Just a preference.

The 'no child policy' that Alibaba and MaryBS and megapixels mention. how to you find out this information without phoning every restaurant beforehand ?
Is there a website that lists which restaurants are 'no children ' ?

Perhaps the restaurants should just have separate areas for family and non-family. THat way everyone can be accommodated within the normal confines of restaurant eating and no one is bothered by the sight of unwelcome children, or conversely by the sighs and glares of the adults who don't wish to see children there.

A) It wouldn't bother me unless the baby was crying.
B) DH and I ate out at lots of michelin restaurants before we had DD. We plan to start taking her when she is old enough to behave and get some enjoyment out of it. In them meantime, however, a Michelin trip is all about really enjoying the whole experience and I would not be able to do that with my baby in tow, however comfortable I felt in the restaurant. I don't want to spoil my lunch because I am feeding/changing/entertaining DD. IMHO if you're going to a Mich resto then get a sitter

Oh and where did you go by the way ? What was the food like ?

We went to Gidleigh Park (2*)for lunch when DD was 2 months old - MIL and PIL had her while we ate

I've just realised you're in California - was it the French Laundry ? If it was, please post a report

DD was conceived after a once-in-a-lifetime meal at Per Se

"they don't have a childrens menu there "

I am sure Claridges would be prepared to make anything the child might fancy - but why do you need a childrens' menu ? Surely you just give them a small portion of the adult meal.

I hate the concept of childrens' menus. Usually full of cheap crap packed with the most repellant ingredients. [pulls cat's bum face]

No - it was the Claremont - do you know it? I don't think it's Michelin starred, but it's expensive enough to be

The French Laundry is yummy, too! Not, I hasten to add, that we spend our lives in these places (like I said, second time in three months and TBH if we go to a really good restaurant it's more like three times a year but we wanted to treat ourselves ) but we really do enjoy it when we go! And if you're spending $300 on the food then, well, it is a special experience, right?

And, yes, we will be taking the DC when they're old enough to be worth spending $300 on

I agree with you on appropriate places Tokyo - I draw my line in the sand at "do I mind paying the bill without finishing my meal if DD starts playing up ?"
DD has been out for lots of restaurant meals in her 6 months - but always lunch and always when I didn't mind leaving half the dinner

Oblomov, it was on the sign outside the restaurant, before we went in, re: no children. But as I recall, it was generally known locally.

Riven so not wishing to start a bun fight with you, but it's the term my mum and I (and my whole family) have always used since my brother was born 30 years ago. If you want specifics, he has Terminal Third Deletion Syndrome of the Short Arm of Chromosome Nine, which has an incidence of one in seven million. I have looked after my brother, as has my other brother, our whole lives - I've changed a 16 year old's nappies, picked his poo up off the floor, washed him (yup, even on the morning of my wedding day, cos we're a family and that's what you do - all chip in, you know?)

My father is brain damaged (is there a more PC term you would prefer me to use?) in an accident he sustained when I was 11 years old. It's left him with severe front, temporal lobe damage and the emotional abilities of a four year old. I also have lovely childhood memories of him running naked around our garden, chasing us with a knife, threatening to kill himself.

When I used to work professionally, I worked exclusively at nonprofits for children with disabilities - and tripled the fundraising revenue at my penultimate place of employment.

In short, I have been around people with mental/emotional issues my whole life - childhood and adulthood, including my professional life.

Now, is there anything else you wish to say to me?

And yes, as you may have gathered in reading this thread: We have money. So what. We've still (as a family) gone through more shit in our life than most people do in the whole of theirs.

Since when is the local pizza place during earlybird time 'adult environment'? While I might have some sympathy if you were there at 10pm, if you went early for the set menu then tough tits, that's notoriously tea time for families who want to eat out.

Apologies is someone has pointed out the glaringly obviousl already but if you want to have a meal in a guaranteed child-free environment, then you phone and ask the restaurant if they have a policy. I don't see what the fuss is all about.

if and obviously. Obviously.

I don't mind children in restauants. It makes me feel like being on holiday.

14hours, why so defensive? The term you used is no longer acceptable in the UK, that's all. You obviously do want a bunfight...

And no one gives two tosses whether you're rich or poor, it isn't relevant, but thanks for telling us.

I just meant it as a descriptor.... not to cause offence to anyone. And I mentioned my background as a way of making it glaringly obvious that I am probably the last person who is interested in being offensive to this particular community.

I really don't want a bunfight, actually.

This is starting to get personal - and personally upsetting.

I think I'll just leave it.

Thanks to all who contributed to my original question - opinions appreciated!

14hours - please don't let this upset you. It's been an interesting thread and I for one understood why you talked about your background.

I don't think your being unreasonable. Even if you weren't disturbed just having a baby there can put you on edge as you mentally prepare for the potential noise.

I wouldn't take my baby somewhere posh for dinner as I wouldn't want to ruin the experience for my fellow diners. There are lots of family friendly places but some reastaurants should naturally be thought of as adults only.

" There are lots of family friendly places "

A lot of them horrid, of course. "Family" is one of those words like "community" which means "patronising rubbish that the perpetrators wouldn't use themselves" (community school, community art project, family restaurant).