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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Think that Babies don't Belong in Super-Swanky Restaurants?

189 replies

14hourstillbedtime · 23/07/2010 17:16

I love babies (especially on toast). Also love the integrated Mediterranean-like culture over here that enfolds babies into everyday life (babies with meatballs? babies on marinated lamb?)

However, I still think there are some places Babies don't Belong, and one of these places is a make-up and high-heels uber swanky restaurant! Yesterday, DH and I (very over-excitedly) went out for only the second time since DC2 (3 months), and there, slap bang in the middle of the posh joint, was a four/five month old baby!! It was very delicious-looking, but I can't help but wish it hadn't been there...

So, Am I Being Unreasonable?!

OP posts:
reallytired · 23/07/2010 17:53

If you are exclusively breastfeeding then its next to impossible to leave a baby that wont take a bottle.

Provided the baby is quiet, I can't see the issue.

fearnelinen · 23/07/2010 17:54

Mmmm appetising!

Sometimes I just wanna be all poncey about the food and pretend DH is a master sommelier while he tastes the wine and we just don't want to think about our darling bundles.

We went to an amazing place in America that had a sort of 'romantic' mezzanine floor. It was brilliant, although it was swanky there were babies and people who brought their children - all well behaved, but you know, going to the loo every 5 minutes, talking loudly e.t.c. But we went upstairs and pretended not to know who Handy bloody Manny was!

I LOVE the buzz of a good family restaurant, but there should be some space thats sacred!

TheCrackFox · 23/07/2010 17:54

I can't say it really bothers me.

muggglewump · 23/07/2010 17:55

YANBU.
Babies make noise, and smells and exist, and I'd rather they didn't do any of those things near me when I'm spending a lot of money on a mael.

OK so that hasn't happened yet, due to me being skint, but when I do save up to go to Cameron House, I do not want babies there.

Original poster
14hourstillbedtime · 23/07/2010 17:57

reallytired - but I am exclusively breastfeeding a non-bottle taking baby - who does sleep for the first two and a half hours of the night (bit of a crapshoot after that ) and we still managed it?

(I see your point, though, if the baby is always a super-errative sleeper and you have no idea if will sleep for even an hour or two!)

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 23/07/2010 17:58

So what? When I was exclusively breastfeeding I didn't go out to smart restaurants.

Ridiculous sense of entitlement (mumsnet top trumps) that every one else should be happy with a (potentially crying) baby when they are forking out a lot for a meal.

muggglewump · 23/07/2010 18:00

Yep GOML I agree with you.
Exclusively BF is not a reason to take a baby to a fancy restaurant.
Don't go if he/she won't take a bottle. It's unfair on the other diners.

Original poster
14hourstillbedtime · 23/07/2010 18:02

But my point is that you can go, even if they won't take the bottle, if you exit right speedily after they are down, leave them with sitter who knows them well enough to pick up and rock (not just cry!) and you know you won't need to feed for two/three hours?

Surely? I mean, I did it? No? Anyone?

OP posts:
GeekOfTheWeek · 23/07/2010 18:03

Don't really have a strong opinion on it.

Presume it would be off putting if i was giving dh a toe-wank under the table though.

LynetteScavo · 23/07/2010 18:04

I remember when we were on our honeymoon, with 4 month old DS, and looking longingly at the outside of nice restaurants, and not daring to book. I think we settled for family friendly places which brought us crayons for to keep DS entertained.

mrsgordonfreeman · 23/07/2010 18:07

I take dd to nice restaurants, because I don't go to cheap ones. If she's noisy, I take her out.

Sorry if that annoys anyone, but, meh.

LynetteScavo · 23/07/2010 18:08

Oh, yes, being home in time for the late evening feed. And being nervous that LO had woken up a bit early, and was now screaming for you! (of course they never did!)

I remember telling a babysitter DS2 was exclusively BF. She said, "sorry, I can't help with that one."

milliemoosmum · 23/07/2010 18:09

YABU. I don't see why having your meal disturbed should be reserved for the proles in Pizza Express .
If you want to go to a restaurant that is child-free you should find out before you book if they allow children in and if they do then go to a restaurant that doesn't.
Although maybe I'm just because I rarely eat in post restaurants...

milliemoosmum · 23/07/2010 18:11

*posh

Original poster
14hourstillbedtime · 23/07/2010 18:15

Oh, God, we rarely eat in posh restaurants, millimoosmum - which was sort of my point, really - lol at 'proles in Pizza Express' - now see myself as modern-day Marie Antoinette: 'Let them eat pizza!'

OP posts:
TheMoonOnAStick · 23/07/2010 18:24

Yanbu. Posh restaurent = grown up/no children time imo.

I have 3 dc and didn't go to places like that with them as babies. (Blimey I don't go now much either but hey ho - if I did...)

Even if I had I don't think I would have enjoyed it. I remember we tried it once when dd was a very young baby - the whole experience was terrible. Two opposing forces in one small space - never again.

milliemoosmum · 23/07/2010 18:37

But it is up to the restaurant who they allow in. If people don't like a restaurants policy on kids then they're free to take their custom elsewhere. If it's that important to you surely you should find out first? It is a little bit unreasonable to go to a restaurant that allows children and be miffed that there are children there I think.

minipie · 23/07/2010 18:48

YANBU.

Unless the baby is an angel baby which can be relied upon to stay quiet for the entire duration of the dinner.

And they don't exist.

MumNWLondon · 23/07/2010 18:51

YADNBU (unless it was at lunchtime).

Don't think even appropriate for a newborn in the evening (after 8pm?). If you can't leave your baby with someone then get a take away.... or go out at lunchtime.

I mean if you can afford that sort of restuarant you can afford a babysitter.

When DD was 9 months old we went away for the weekend leaving her with MIL and in the cinema was a baby about her size who was v v noisy, really annoyed me.

PosieParker · 23/07/2010 18:52

YAnbu.

MumNWLondon · 23/07/2010 18:59

"If you are exclusively breastfeeding then its next to impossible to leave a baby that wont take a bottle."

What rubbish. Breastfeed babies don't need to be constantly fed.

DS2 is exclusively breastfed and 3 months old. Since around 6 weeks he has been going to bed at around 7pm after a feed. Since around 8 weeks he consistently sleeps from then until I give him his dream feed. Although he does take a bottle I have left him with a babysitter (and haven't left a bottle).

If he woke up before 10pm I would cuddle him back to sleep anyway and thats what the babysitter would do.

FWIW DH and I went out for dinner when DD (our oldest) was only a couple of weeks old. I fed her just before we went out and my MIL enjoyed a lovely evening with her GC.

whatname · 23/07/2010 19:02

arhh, I think you're being a bit unreasonable.
i have never seen this, I'm sure it doesn't happen that often, and when it does it must be special circumstances.
and you know what, some people don't have family or friends to babysit, and wouldn't want to leave a newborn with a strange babysitter.
I've never done it in this country, but done it lots of times abroad, baby asleep in pram. but you have to appreciate that there might be reasons why people have to.

MumNWLondon · 23/07/2010 19:07

14hourstillbedtime - totally in agreement with you, and anyway if the baby is a bit if an erratic sleeper what would be better for the baby and you (on basis baby was fed right before you went out):

  • being BF at table at posh restuarant
  • being rocked to sleep at pos restuarant
  • being rocked to sleep at home by babysitter

I know which I'd prefer!

Minipie - I have (3 month old EBF) angel baby but much more chance of him staying asleep in his cot in dark room than in a busy restuarant.

However, on holidays in resorts have gone to restuarant with DD (aged 4 months in pram). If she woke up one of us left the restuarant and walked her to sleep. But lots of others had buggies at their tables too.

azazello · 23/07/2010 19:10

I really really want to get on my high horse and complain about how unfair you are Op and how YABU but DH and I were given vouchers for the Manoir aux quatre saisons from all family for our 10th wedding anniversary. We got babysitters and all dressed up and everything (leaving bf DS who won't take a bottle - he seems to have survived)

We turned up and saw the note on the menu that children are welcomed and I partly felt a bit gooey and partly really really hoped that there wouldn't be any children there that evening. Lunchtime is totally different but for dinner YANBU

mumeeee · 23/07/2010 19:19

YABU. A lot of babies don't go down for the night untill after 8pm. The baby was being quiet and not disturbibg you. Now if it had ben a screaming running around toddler then that would be a different story.