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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the school are being arses?

379 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 19/07/2010 09:08

For the last 6 weeks DS1 has had a mohican (sp) yesterday my bil thinned the sides out as ds1's hair is very thick and curly.

Now I have not seen his hair today as he stayed with my mum last night, but at 8.30 the school phoned to say he was on his way home for having an inappropriate hair cut which they feel will affect his learning ????????

How the hell can a haircut affect learning ffs

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/07/2010 09:39

I don't fancy having a meltdown from him so I am going to take him to the barbers and have the top trimmed down i think that way he keeps the same style without it being so "in your face" but i am waiting for him to come home...he is taking his time.

OP posts:
JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 19/07/2010 09:39

Perhaps the school should issue a list of approved hairstyles

Can't be doing with this king of bollocks personally, particularly the sending him home thing. Having said that, I can't be doing with mohicans, unless they're proper ones like what we had in the early 80s

AmazingBouncingFerret · 19/07/2010 09:40

The thinning out has probably made the mohican look more extreme. Try trimming the top so that it blends in a little bit more.

AMumInScotland · 19/07/2010 09:40

Until you see DS it's hard to guess whats the problem with it - though as others have said, they may be having a clamp-down in general. Or it may well be quite different from how it was yesterday!

How about looking for a style which is clipped at the sides and long on top, which can be gelled up or left floppy? I think boys should be allowed to have individual styles if they want, but I can also see why schools don't like extremes.

When DS wanted to grow his hair, we made sure it got through the messiest stage over the summer, so by the time the new term started he could tie it back if it was an issue - ponytails were allowed!

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 19/07/2010 09:40

Who on earth is the king of bollocks?

kind of bollocks. That's better

Debs75 · 19/07/2010 09:41

Is he at a primary or secondary? i am guessing secondary as he is being sent home alone.

Personally I think it is a bit sad that schools want our children all dressed like mini-me's. DD's school also has the no unnatural hair colour but they can dye it brown, black, red or blonde. DD's hair is a very vivid but still natural looking red. They also have to wear black tights but the can't be thick so we got her barely black and she was told off for wearing grey tights.

If it is in the school learning agreement then there isn't much that an be done but to go like that for weeks with no mention then to bring it up on the last week is a bit petty.

TheBossofMe · 19/07/2010 09:45

hmmm, the fact that he's taking his time getting home suggests that the haircut is more than a vague mohican. methinks something more radical awaits you!

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/07/2010 09:52

He has just got in and tbh it is the same as it was when he first had it cut 6 weeks ago. The thing is his hair grows very quickly and by the end of the week will all be evened out again and by the end of the holidays will be a mass of curls....just took a piccy and compared it to how it was 3 weeks after he had it done before.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/07/2010 09:53

oh and the reason he was taking so long is he was on DP's bus and went with him for a ride lol.

OP posts:
seeker · 19/07/2010 09:59

Am I right in remembering that htere have been issues with your ds and school before? If there have, I really think it's not worth the hassle of fighting this one. Even it up and send him to school. He can do whatever he likes with it for the next 5 weeks.

StayFrosty · 19/07/2010 10:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/07/2010 10:01

I do see the problem though.

As i said his hair is very thick and quite curly. so where the top has grown it is about 2 1/2 - 3" long and he has a number 2 on the sides. so it makes it look extreme.

However the sides are the same length as when he first had it done and it was not 6 weeks ago it was the last week of May.

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loopyloops · 19/07/2010 10:03

This sounds awful but IME pupils with crazy haircuts will stick in teachers minds as being PITAs. I would just sort it out and avoid DS being perceived as naughty forevermore, it could affect his education.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/07/2010 10:03

Stay, I don't go against the rules at all. Maybe you should actually read my threads properly because there are actually only a few about his school. But more about his behaviour at home.

So you don't remember that right at all.

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Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/07/2010 10:05

Seeker, there have been a few issues in this school the issues were more in his primary school he has all bar a few incidents been getting on well in this school.

I am going later to thin it out..

OP posts:
crisproll · 19/07/2010 10:05

Do you think the school have spoken to your DS when he first had his mohican cut and told him he should grow it out? If his hair grows very quickly they may have thought that is exactly what he has been doing for the last 6 weeks and are therefore taking action as he has had it cut into a mohican again? Have you spoken to the head teacher/ head of year and expressed your concerns?

coraltoes · 19/07/2010 10:06

There are rules and guidelines about appropriate uniform and appearance at schools and most work places. I think it is perfectly reasonable to send someone home if they do not adhere to the standard. A Mohican is not appropriate hair for school, it is likely to cause quite a stir amongst his classmates and you should realise that this is a distraction. I suggest you sort his hair out for the last 4 days of term and let him focus on the important matter of learning rather than setting trends. I don't really understand why he has to have a mohican or why it couldnt have waited til the summer holidays?

I hope it is easy to sort out for you without upsetting him too much.

StayFrosty · 19/07/2010 10:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsC2010 · 19/07/2010 10:08

Same reason they have uniforms I guess.

AMumInScotland · 19/07/2010 10:08

It sounds like the contrast between the top and the sides is more than it was, if the sides have been trimmed back but the top hasn't. So they have probably felt it was more extreme now than when it was first done.

So - if you take the top down to under 2" say, maybe it will be ok for them. Have they given him any more guidance apart from "it's unacceptable, fix it"?

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/07/2010 10:10

Stay yes and those incidents were not in this school....hence my saying you remember that wrong.They were incidents in his PRIMARY school.

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StayFrosty · 19/07/2010 10:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/07/2010 10:16

Stay there is a difference between defending your child when you know they are right and ignoring the school rules.

I know my sons faults and in this school they have been minor incidents which i have not defended him when he and I knew he was wrong.

OP posts:
StayFrosty · 19/07/2010 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBossofMe · 19/07/2010 10:19

There is a good point there about respect for rules and authority needing to be applied consistently and across the board.

If you don't instill in DS the need to adhere to the rules at school (and TBH, I struggle to see how you might think a mohican is an appropriate hairstyle for a child) and let him believe that rules are open to interpretation, then its not entirely surprising if he has trouble understanding that your rules at home are always to be obeyed.