to have installed a pole dancing pole in my living room...?

[superv1xen]

been having lessons for months now and decided to get one put in at home!

its amazing for fitness and so much fun, i have really toned up since doing it and i am thinking of possibly teaching it from home if i get good enough. and dp enjoys watching me practise although i reckon the novelty will probably wear off soon

my mum did a bit of a "cats bums mouth" when she first saw it though and dp darent even tell his mum i have got one! haha

Why the front room though?

Why not upstairs.

Attention seeking IMO.

eww your parents' sex life is never something you want to have to think about too much. I feel sorry for your DD the day she realises what the pole was for.

What a surprise, Dittany turning up making everybody a perverted oppressed victim. It is good exercise, and is fun! How dare you question this womans parenting choices based on that.

And not just Dittany, all of you saying that she must be bowing to mens expectations, you are just as oppressive! What if women want to feel sexy for themselves??

Mandy, I think you are a bit out of order there. Dittany knows that I don't always agree with her, but you are singling her out here when other people have voiced the same misgivings. And do you not see the irony in talking about women feeling sexy for themselves when you are commenting on a device which is reliant on performing for men? How is that endorsing the idea of a personal sense of self-worth in your sexuality?

You'd be peering round it to chat to each other, and no space for board games or jigsaws or cutting out material.
Plus you look like a woman whose main aim in life is to please men.
Why not in the bedroom or upstairs somewhere? I agree living room seems very exhibitionist.

YABVVU. What shocking tacky bad taste. Why didn't you put it in the bedroom? After all, would you put a fridge freezer in your bedroom, or a portaloo in your conservatory? Very bizarre behaviour.

Say it is for exercise, it's still like putting a exercise bike or cross trainer in place of where a coffee table should be.

Silly aesthetics that.

bit like this then

Whether people say it or not, most people will think you're tasteless, cheap and bending over backwards to try and hold on to a partner/dh bored with you already.

Move it to the dungeon bedroom if you really want one.

Not to mention thinking you are one of those annoying attention-seeking women who loves herself just a bit too much.

How are the children supposed to know the origins of the pole if no one tells them? It's over their heads. Unless mum is inviting the neighbours around to throw fivers at mum while she practices half naked on the pole, while the kids watch, I can't see there being an issue.

From what I have seen, women taking pole dancing classes seem to wear fairly usual aerobics type wear (shorts and tank top type things). Now I know some men get off on watching girls in lycra doing aerobics, but that doesn't make the aerobics itself "for men's gratification".

The world of a pole dancing club is definitely no place for children, but she isn't talking about running a club from home when the kids are in, she's talking about having a pole (that correctly placed could be mistaken for a structural feature) at home, not a disco ball and a bunch of bored businessmen.

As an aside, I also can't see how women who decide to make their living as pole dancers are being particularly hard done by. They are self-employed, choose where to work and who to dance for. I would be more worried about the poor guys being fleeced out of £20 for 3 minutes of seeing less flesh than you do on late night channel 5, or £100 plus an hour for a girl to chat to them while they buy drinks for her. Poor feckless bastards...

Yes, yes, Porcelain, your last paragraph is exactly the argument used for prostitution. Doesn't make it respectable in my book, but hey, each to their own and all that.

"How are the children supposed to know the origins of the pole if no one tells them?"

It won't be that long before they find out. And sooner if they watch some of the music channels.

Tack-o-rama. Put it in the bedroom. No child wants face-to-face evidence of their parents' sex life. Seriously.

What would you have thought if yer own Mum had slung up a pole in the middle of your living room when you were a young one? You'd not be grateful for it, nor any of the images it might conjour.

The children might not get it now, but they're not stupid. They'll look back with adult understanding soon enough.

Ok, so pole-dancing can just be exercise. Stockings and suspenders can be just items of clothing, but would you leave them draped over the sofa when you had guests around?

MisSal - For a start, prostitution is a different issue, particularly as it involves human trafficking. And why do people keep equating pole dancing (and all kinds of other things that they consider morally grey) to prostitution, that's really offensive and brings us a step closer the realms of certain countries where any woman who works for a living gets referred to as a whore.

paisley, I would suggest that they aren't allowed to watch music channels that have unsuitable content on them. How is it not ok for mum to exercise on a pole, but ok for them to watch sexually suggestive music videos? And perhaps if when they were older, and perhaps at a friends house, they did see such a video, then they would realise that the girls in the videos are real people, like their mum, and feel less inclined to objectify them.

There are 2 things here I find really "dangerous" as ideas. 1) women who do this are some kind of lesser species who don't deserve any empathy or respect - they are probably stupid and do sexual favours for crack. 2) That "feminism" means not having the right to choose what you do, how you dress, or how the dynamic between a woman and her partner works.

noble - whatever do you do with stockings and suspenders? I have only ever worn them as items of clothing! I am clearly very sheltered! Please tell me, as I dry mine on the washing line and I would hate to have my child taken off me for being a harlot.

Porcelain, eh? their mum thinks it is okay to be so public about the pole dancing. And yes, they will get older.

Porcelain, would you never associate stockings and suspenders with dressing for sex?

Is dancing in your living room really public? I was assuming she had curtains.

have very much enjoyed reading all the replies!

ok, just to respond to some of the outraged comments. I don't use the pole when my kids are about. Mainly because they would get in the way

I don't use it as some kind of sex aid for me and dp, I dont do it semi clothed or in slutty underwear or naked, I wear gym wear to do it, ie vest and tracksuit shorts and bare feet (very glamourous, not)

its in the front room because I haven't got a very big bedroom so it wouldn't fit. my living room is really big so where I have put it doesn't look out of place (in my opinion)

it isn't for attention-seeking, its because I enjoy doing it and its amazing exercise, since I have been doing it my legs arms and tummy are really toned. it definitely beats going to the gym!

also, pole dancing as exercise has really taken off recently, the class I attend is usually full to bursting with about 40 women and I fully intend to start teaching it myself once I am good enough and I can charge up to £25 for an hours private tuition and be able to fit it round my family life and job.

Oh and I am not some kind of "thick" bimbo, I have got a degree.

Why does your DH enjoy watching you practice then? and with a 'wink'