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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have installed a pole dancing pole in my living room...?

401 replies

superv1xen · 17/07/2010 18:04

been having lessons for months now and decided to get one put in at home!

its amazing for fitness and so much fun, i have really toned up since doing it and i am thinking of possibly teaching it from home if i get good enough. and dp enjoys watching me practise although i reckon the novelty will probably wear off soon

my mum did a bit of a "cats bums mouth" when she first saw it though and dp darent even tell his mum i have got one! haha

OP posts:
southeastastra · 17/07/2010 21:15

you tart

lindalinda · 17/07/2010 21:16

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Message withdrawn

babyicebean · 17/07/2010 23:13

Yes I do it in the living room and no I didnt tell the Parish Priest, its in the middle of the room so he asked, I told him.

You have your thoughts about it and I have my thoughts about it.If you don't like it then fine some of us enjoy it and I cant see how it makes me a tart, thick or lacking in class.

Yes there may be women who pole dance who are all these things but don't judge me unless you know me.

If defending having a ole in the house make me a thick, classless tart then hey ho feel free to think of me as a thick classless tart.

dittany · 17/07/2010 23:16

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sidge · 17/07/2010 23:22

Is this your dining room?

babyicebean · 17/07/2010 23:24

And Tango started in brothels in argentina so think what you will about what you want

babyicebean · 17/07/2010 23:27

That dining room - I would love to have that much space in any room in my house plus a table that seats 12/13 would be fab at christmas.

BecauseImWorthIt · 17/07/2010 23:27

Why not have a think about what pole dancing is for?

It's for the gratification of men, and therefore about women dancing for their pleasure.

It's about women with little clothing, dancing in a highly suggestive way for men, with the intention of arousal.

And then consider why that might be inappropriate for:

a) your living room
b) your children to witness

babyicebean · 17/07/2010 23:30

I know full well what pole dancing is portrayed as being for.

a)yes its in the living room
b)I do not do it when the kids are about mainly cos I have one who would try to copy me and also they would get in the way.

dittany · 17/07/2010 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dittany · 17/07/2010 23:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BecauseImWorthIt · 17/07/2010 23:37

So why do it/have one in the living room? Surely your kids are going to ask what it's for?

Are you not, as a human being, worth more than this?

Doigthebountyeater · 17/07/2010 23:40

Dear lord that is sad. I suppose you think you are 'empowered' and that you are a strong woman because it's 'your choice'.

You are no better than someone who gets plastic boobs because it makes them feel sexy. You are an idiot and an enemy of the feminist cause.

babyicebean · 17/07/2010 23:40

After the initial week or so the kids now ignore it and I have never performed or shown the husband anything mainly cos he isn't interested in it at all,probably because he used to service slot machines in various clubs so he has seen it all and then some which he probably didn't want to see.

Doigthebountyeater · 17/07/2010 23:43

Put your fanjo away and go and read 'The Women's Room' by Marilyn French.

[Adjusts her Millie Tant hat and doc marten boots firmly]

BecauseImWorthIt · 17/07/2010 23:43

BTW I'm not judging you as thick or classless or as a tart.

But I am judging you as being sadly lacking in terms of your own self esteem and worth, and by proving yourself to be a really terrible role model for your own children in terms of the status of girls/women in society today.

dittany · 17/07/2010 23:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

babyicebean · 17/07/2010 23:50

Judge me as you will it won't change the fact I have a pole and will have a pole for as long as I want it.

Self esteem and worth I know a fair bit about, if you want real body issues look at ballerinas and gynasts who are kept almost too thin for their frame so do develop eating disorders.

My 7 year old is realatily grounded unlike at least two of her class mates who are on diets as they are 'too fat'

babyicebean · 17/07/2010 23:51

gynasts?sounds like a medical condition

BecauseImWorthIt · 17/07/2010 23:54

Irrelevant.

Your daughter is growing up thinking that pole dancing - aka dancing nearly naked for the gratification of men - is normal.

How can you defend this?

NonnoMum · 17/07/2010 23:56

Make sure you are always in clean knickers...

babyicebean · 17/07/2010 23:57

Why should I?

BecauseImWorthIt · 18/07/2010 00:00

So are you happy for your daughter to be growing up thinking that her role in life is to satisfy the sexual appetites of men?

That's why you should defend it.

You may be happy to play this role for men. But should your daughter? Perhaps she might want to tread a path in life that's about her own being, self-worth and intellect - and which doesn't depend on being judged as a sexual toy for men.

babyicebean · 18/07/2010 00:10

She can tread whatever path she wants - just cause there is a pole in the lounge does not mean she will turn into a sex toy for men, her dad would have a lot to say if I let her do that

BecauseImWorthIt · 18/07/2010 00:14

But you are opening the way for her to do just that.

And why should her dad stop her?

But the very fact that you are deferring the decision to her dad speaks volumes about how you perceive your own importance in terms of your own position as a role model to your own daughter.