...to HATE 'misery memoirs'

[rhirhirhirirhi]

Over the past four years or so I've seen memoirs' become increasingly popular, but surely I can't be one of the only people who thinks that there is something inherently weird and creepy about revelling in these tales of woe? I think it's completely acceptable to read them as a way of supporting yourself if you've been through something similar, but I cannot begin to understand why somebody would otherwise choose to read them. The other day I was in a big Tesco and they had a BOGOF offer on them- allowing some woman to eagerly scoop up 8 (!) with names like, 'Please Daddy No' and 'Our Little Secret' and put them in her trolley.

I was speaking to a friend about this recently and she admitted that she loves them, and said that it helps her to ''appreciate her life''. Worse still, she tried to justify it by saying that many of the ones she'd read were actually fiction, so technically she wasn't really 'experiencing a real person's misery''. Fictional misery memoirs?! Good God, if I were an author writing pretend tales of child abuse I would seriously be re-evaluating my skills! AIBU to think that most people should be perfectly capable of appreciating their life without having to delve into a book detailing the horrendous life of some poor person?

Oops, bad link:

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I agree.

I agree too.

Absolutely agree

I agree. Wallowing in other people's misery. Yuck!

I hate them. I've heard them described as "Misery Porn" before.

You start off on the lighter stuff like "I wasn't allowed recorder lessons as a child", then you want harder and harder stuff and end up reading "My Daddy Kept Me In A Bucket".

I can understand why people write them, but why read them? Why not send the price of the book to the NSPCC or something?

vile, vile vile - I agree 100%

an utter waste of trees!

We call them 'Grief Porn' in our house. Awful stuff.

There have been a few great memoirs - well written and interesting ('Once in a house on fire' by Andrea Ashworth and 'Liars Club' by Mary Karr for example') but ever since 'A boy called it' and all the sequels it seems that there's just a conveyor belt of these awful awful stories which seem to be written and marketed almost to titilate a certain kind of reader.

I know what you mean, there did seem to be a flood of them on the market recently. I read the Dave Pelzer books, and shouldn't have, as I had chronic depression at the time and they made me feel much worse. Mainly because I had an abusive childhood and it brought a lot back.

I also read one by Shy Keenan about her sexual abuse by stepfather and friends.

I think if it's happened to you and you want to purge it out of your system and educate others then it could be a good thing, I know Shy Keenan wanted to show that you could take control of your life again, and has worked with sexual abuse victims. Dave Pelzer comes under a lot of controversy with his books.

I cannot, personally, see any point of fiction though as it's not educating people on the issues, do people read it for enjoyment? Not my bag, but maybe someone elses'.

But thinking about it, when I was in my teens we all read Flowers in the Attic etc so perhaps they have always been popular topics.

Lol at grief porn and my daddy kept me in a bucket

Thing is, I enjoyed The Kite Runner, The Colour Purple and Maya Angelou's books which all include horrible topics. However, there's something about these 'misery memoirs' that just seems so gratuitous. I can imagine people reading them just for the awful things and any in between parts just being padding.

I agree.

I feel the same way about some psycho thriller films. 'Saw' was just horrid. I am uncomfortable by the thought of people spending an evening being entertained by gore and desparation and misery.

Agree. WH Smith actually has a whole section devoted to them. Please Daddy No is the one that always makes me a bit

Oh I forgot about "Please Daddy, No." Don't think I could stomach that one.

There was also "Sleepers" if i remember?

Mind you, 10 years back it was the rage to read gangster books, The Krays, The Guvnor all that malarky.

Then you have the morbid serial killer fascination.

Maybe it's a recession/depression thing.

Saw..ugggh.

I've always felt very uncomfortable about these books, and have avoided buying them. It seems very wrong to be spectating someone else's misery.

But on the other hand, I've wondered if these people making some money out of what happened to them is some sort of justice or payback. And I suppose writing it all down probably helps them come to terms with what happened to them.

On balance, though, I don't want to buy into the misery memoir genre - it feels too wrong to me.

I agree wholeheartedly. I can't fathom how people read this for pleasure (my wording sounds a bit wrong though). Even reading the blurb makes me feel awful.

The other day we visited a guy who'd recently adopted a baby girl. Child is still in her country, where the man's wife is staying with her now until all formalities are finished and she is brought back. He was reading some book about a father abusing his daughter and hiring her out as a prostitute (I think it was called Daddy's Little Earner, or something like that). I had such a bad impression of him, given the timing and the choice of reading material considering that he had just become a father for the first time. Bleurgh.

I like them, they are interesting and I do feel lucky to have had a wonderful childhood. I haven't read one in a while and I don't know 'please Daddy no'.

They are interesting??? In what way, are these things real page turners then?

(That's a genuine question by the way, not being sarcy)

YANBU at all. There are so many, and some of the titles are just disgusting. I read A Child Called It and Ugly several years back, and yes, there was something about the empowerment of the authors that inspired me, but they didn't leave me hungry for more misery. Ditto memoirs about dogs, since Marley and Me there has been a massive explosion of those too.

I think "Please Daddy No" was a title invented by the comedian Dara O'Brein when he was talking about these books.

I have to admit to reading these books.
I have read Dave Pelzars books,
have just finished reading "Living with Evil"
which was one of the most harrowing books i have ever read.

I cannot explain why I read them, have always read crime books since I was a child and used to read my uncles crime magazines they used to sell.

YANBU. Maybe one or two books on these subjects were necessary to open people's eyes to what goes on in some unfortunate people's lives. But everytime I go into a bookshop now there's tons of horrific memoirs on sale. I, too, can't understand why people want to go on and on reading them.

do you just object to ones that are totally made up proporting to be autobiographical or you don't like those kind of books at all, fiction or truly autobiographical?

please daddy no is real. well, it exists.

Does reading them not make you feel a bit grubby? (genuine question as i had imagined it would)

Also, what id one of the dc's saw you reading it and asked what it's about? My ds (nearly 12) have had some good talks about various topics due to whichever book I'm reading at the time.