...to HATE 'misery memoirs'

[rhirhirhirirhi]

Over the past four years or so I've seen memoirs' become increasingly popular, but surely I can't be one of the only people who thinks that there is something inherently weird and creepy about revelling in these tales of woe? I think it's completely acceptable to read them as a way of supporting yourself if you've been through something similar, but I cannot begin to understand why somebody would otherwise choose to read them. The other day I was in a big Tesco and they had a BOGOF offer on them- allowing some woman to eagerly scoop up 8 (!) with names like, 'Please Daddy No' and 'Our Little Secret' and put them in her trolley.

I was speaking to a friend about this recently and she admitted that she loves them, and said that it helps her to ''appreciate her life''. Worse still, she tried to justify it by saying that many of the ones she'd read were actually fiction, so technically she wasn't really 'experiencing a real person's misery''. Fictional misery memoirs?! Good God, if I were an author writing pretend tales of child abuse I would seriously be re-evaluating my skills! AIBU to think that most people should be perfectly capable of appreciating their life without having to delve into a book detailing the horrendous life of some poor person?

Sorry typing whilst feeding dd2 so ignore mistakes

We call them grief porn too.

Dara O'Briain did talk about 'Daddy Noooooo' and 'Touched, but not by an angel'. It felt wrong to laugh. But right.

They're terrible, nasty little things. And often made up.

DS1 has read the DP books well the first one...but it took me saying no for 6m before he got it out from the book shelf and read it when in his room...where i wouldn;t know.

TBH I cannot tell him he can't read them if i have a collection of books with these among them.

We do discuss the books he and I read and there has been no ill effects of this - so far.

Agree, my DM likes these. Never understood it, they would send me running for the prozac.

ha ha that minute I saw the title I was thinking about "Please Daddy No"

fucking vile and i BET some people get a frisson

I read one in a library and bet you someone gets off on it

ugh

then again, if they make some money after all that abuse, well fair play to them

How old is your ds? I would really not be happy with my dc's even reading the blurb of one of these books.

They are the feature length versions of all those awful stories in the cheapo women's mags (Bella, Best, Take a Break etc) that you find in the doctor's waiting room.

Exception for me in the Misery Lit genre was James Frey's "A million Little Pieces" about him getting off drugs (yeah, I know he embellished it a lot but it was a good read).

Problem as well is, often these books are written by one member of a family and then other members come out and say 'not true. That didn't happen'. So really it's hard to know with some of them if they're true or if someone is being slandered

I read one a few years ago.

Never again. I found it distressing and it upset me greatly.

My gran gives me Take a Break every week and I have had to stop reading that.

Nothing in it bar stories of woe.

Every week has a new death, a new terminal illness and a new tale of extra marital affairs or con men husbands.

I read one Dave Peltzer book and it put me off of misery lit for life.

I'm certain most of these misery 'authors' never wrote diaries ,isn't marvellous how well their memories recount every tiny and exact detail of misery?

TLE ideal reading for teens imo is a book called 'go ask Alice' I wouldn't be that happy for any of my children to read misery lit.

DS is 11, 12 in a couple of weeks.

He read this book a few weeks ago.

I totally agree with you, can't see why anyone would ever want to read about this stuff. I mean we all know horrible things happen to children but I try to dwell on it as little as possible for my own mental health.

I read 'A Child Called It' when I was much younger, it wasn't very enjoyable.

However, they have nothing whatsoever to do with enjoying thrilers/horror movies at all, they are a completely different genre. Saw and that sort of thing are works of fiction and don't claim to be otherwise. Fair enough if you want to watch them but don't compare those of us who do to people who read grief porn thanks!

Posh thanks for that, will look for it.

As for remembering details when something horrific happens you either block it out or remember it in such detail that it haunts you hence why so many write it down.

SwanandDuck- that is a problem, and of course, if something is published as a "memoir" it doesnt have to be true- most memoirs are belnded fact and fiction. If it's published as an autobiography it is assumed to be fact.

I'm not sure if it's worse that these things did happen to people or that they didnt and they make this stuff up to titillate the general public.

An agent I know says she HATES getting Misery lit memoir manuscripts as most are just clearly attempted acts of revenge by unhinged individuals.

Yeah I know TLE,I was abused as a child and thankfully have very broken memories and no inclination to eek 399 pages out of those that remain

TLES, of course you can say no to your 11yr old reading things you deem unsuitable. You don't allow your child to do things just because you do.

And, I'm not sure how to phrase this and it's kindly meant, but I'm sure you've detailed emotional and behavioural problems with your ds on here. I don't think such books are suitable reading material for any child but certainly not for a little boy who is struggling in the ways you have described.

Actually Poshwellies, I've wondered about that in relation to all autobigraphies. How on earth can they remember so much detail about their childhood. In my family we can't discuss anthing like that without an argument about 'no, it was definitely before you were born' 'no it wasn't, I remember being there' 'you couldn't have been there, it was in 1976 because I know I had just started school' etc etc.

So much misery in the world already and people want to know more?

I read an interview in the paper with one woman who wrote about her childhood. Her upbringing was just monstrous - she had a funny name Blythe or something - and the details in that turned my stomach. I just couldn't imagine buying her book.

Show, I am sorry you feel that way however my sons reading ability is not reflected in his behaviour. Lets face it if he had really wanted to read it, like he did, he would have got it from somewhere. It is in the school library, so better he reads it in my home than in school as far as i am concerned.

And please people stop turning every frigging post where i mention my ds into something to do with his behaviour. there is another side to him.

TLE - don't know your back story, but I would complain to the school if they stock those books.

I remember sneaking The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole off my sister's shelf when I was about 10 and shoving it under my pillow when my mum came in ! Maybe just hide the unsuitable books at home so he can't see them as they can be so impressionable.

They have these things in school libraries? Is he in secondary TLE?

my friend works for a publisher and hates them. but they sell, so she still edits them and puts them in print....

I did enjoy James Frey's and Augusten Burrough's memoirs,but I think that was down to their writing style and not the bits of grim content.

You don't need to swear at me. As I said it was kindly meant. And I didn't mean it as a comment on his reading ability, but on appropriate reading material. And there are demonstrable and important links between reading/viewing material and behavioural issues.