...to HATE 'misery memoirs'

[rhirhirhirirhi]

Over the past four years or so I've seen memoirs' become increasingly popular, but surely I can't be one of the only people who thinks that there is something inherently weird and creepy about revelling in these tales of woe? I think it's completely acceptable to read them as a way of supporting yourself if you've been through something similar, but I cannot begin to understand why somebody would otherwise choose to read them. The other day I was in a big Tesco and they had a BOGOF offer on them- allowing some woman to eagerly scoop up 8 (!) with names like, 'Please Daddy No' and 'Our Little Secret' and put them in her trolley.

I was speaking to a friend about this recently and she admitted that she loves them, and said that it helps her to ''appreciate her life''. Worse still, she tried to justify it by saying that many of the ones she'd read were actually fiction, so technically she wasn't really 'experiencing a real person's misery''. Fictional misery memoirs?! Good God, if I were an author writing pretend tales of child abuse I would seriously be re-evaluating my skills! AIBU to think that most people should be perfectly capable of appreciating their life without having to delve into a book detailing the horrendous life of some poor person?

i have a close friend who had a truly awful upbringing. incest, rape, neglect, prostituted out by her mother, violently assaulted, in and out of care. the list goes on but i would hate to think that if she chose to write about her beginnings that she would be lumped in with the "take it with a pinch of salt" stories. she has never thought of doing it though and i have to say i would discourage her for that very reason. it would undo alot of the counselling work she has had to make her feel right about it all if people were doubting her story.

My mother reads them.

I asked her about it, and she went all pinched faced and said "Someone wrote that. Someone poured their heart out of the that book. It should be read."

Just another perspective.

that's a fair point I suppose... just depends if you believe it is genuine heart-pouring, or money-spinning, or worse, exploited-heart-pouring

yanbu. the identikit covers/titles etc run the risk of trivialising child abuse.

trivialising

thank you totalchaos, that's the word I was trying to think of!

YANBU. I have a friend who reads lots of these and passes them on to me but I've never read one.

I get terribly upset when I hear about a case of child abuse on the news so couldn't bear to read a whole book about it, either fiction or non fiction.

I can't see what benefit it can bring to engross yourself in such misery.

But Angela's Ashes is a misery memoir and it's fab!
The othet titles are I admit very odd.

Mabe the authors see it as a kind of revenge, catharsis or a way of simply making money. They had a crap childhood; why not get money and have a better future. We don't have to reda them.

I think in the end, I worry that with so much exposure, people may just become numb.

As I said before though, I don't think Angela's Ashes really fits neatly into this category. The poverty and the misery was just one aspect of the story - not the whole point of it! And Frank McCourt is a talented writer. Some of these books read like they are extra long articles from Take a Break.

angela ashes is really uplifting.not miserable.but all the salacious schlock one wonders why

An old boyfriend who was Scottish gave me a great book called Growing up in the Gorbals. That was, I suppose, a misery memoir of sorts, but it was extremely educative and very evocative of a time and place that I had no previous understanding of. I think those books have their place, as historic works, and if I were the author I'd be quite miffed that they were lumped in with the sensationalist stuff.

agree.some narratives if well written are so evocative

I read them as I work with disadvanataged children. I like reading things from the childs position so I can attempt to empathise with them and in turn hopefully help them. I read anything like that and also the kind of books like Torey Hayden who work with disadvantaged children and is telling it from her own experiences.

From reading these types of books I have actually helped a child from abuse. I would have not noticed some symptoms if it wasnt for these books, so personally I think they are amazing.

really?schlocky literature informs your practice.why not journals,peer support,conferences etc

dont have issue with 1st hand survivor narratives,but there are better sources

I cant say I hate them as I have never read any of them.
I have no interest in reading them either.

Yanbu. I have never read one of these books and never will (apart from Wild Swans and Angela's Ashes which I also think don't fit in this genre).

What on earth do people who read these books get out of it? I can't help feeling some get some kind weird 'kick' out of it (sorry can't think of a better way to put it).

The thought of spending my spare time reading accounts of child abuse makes me feel queasy. I know it unfortunately goes on, but I don't need to know the detail.

All those things do inform my practice as well. I still have read dave pelzer, toni maguire etc. I like all books on individuals overcoming adversity. Torey Hayden is one of my idols and has been for years, and is the reason I got in to my profession and did my degree.

I also have friends who have suffered abuse who find them tremendously helpful, they say it is the only thing that they feel totally understands them, as journals, university books etc certainly dont help them on a human level. If it helps someone I dont see the problem with them personally.

they are salacious.hardly core reading for a practitioner imo

God, I found most of Angela's Ashes incredibly miserable. The alcoholic father stopping off at the pub to drink pints of Guinness when he should have been burying one of his infant sons, and resting his pint on the coffin like a little table ... not miserable?

angela ashes a searing deep exploration of flawed parents,by son.really uplifting

I am not reading one - there are plenty of other titles to choose instead, so I do thankyou

Most of you are saying things about the books when you have only read the title in fairness. It isnt focusing on the abuse it is focusing on how the person overcame it.

Other ones like Torey Haydens books are how she has worked with children who have suffered abuse and dysfunctional childhoods and through her practice helps those individual children (her specialisation is elective mutes for instance) I find this stories really interesting and informative.

there is a big difference between recreational reading and good studies appropriate reading etc that inform practice

I do read them recreationally but in that particular situation a certain book helped me in a certain situation. I obviously read other books as I got a 2:1. I live for my job and I read all types of books on the subject. Cathy Glass and Torey Hayden have been as useful to me as journals and educational material. I have encountered some children with some of the difficulties they have and their perspectives help you think about things in a different way, especially looking at elective mutes or certain children currently experiencing the foster care system. I think they have helped me in this cases enormously.