to think single parents get, kind of, forgotten in the general scheme of things

[sevenkeystomysoul]

Right, so I'm a single parent, no big deal there, I prefer it to the alternative and generally get along fine. But most of my close friends are smug marrieds (maybe not smug, as such, but don't know they're fucking born kind of take their priviliged lives for granted). I don't have much money and babysitters are a once-in-a-blue-moon phenomenon, but would it kill the fuckers to invite me to a day time bbq on a Sunday when they know DD is with her dad and I'm on my own? I know they don't do it consciously, but I kind of fall off the radar on these occasions.

ahhh but take a read of the relationships threads....not so much 'smug marrieds' on there...

invite yourself along,tell them you miss male company and want to discuss some football

Erm, and also, AIBU to expect the hyphens to work?

invite yourself, I do

ILoveTIFFANY, for the most part, these are rock solid marriages were talking about. My girlfriends complain but they and I know that their DH's are completely devoted and lovely men. I am not envious, I guess my ship just never came into dock in that respect, but I guess I would like one of them to think 'oh, seven is on her own on Sundays cos twat has DD, I'll tell her to grab a bottle and come over'.

Do you know, I really wish I could just invite myself, but it's not something I can do. These are friends I've had for years, one is a friend I have had since we were babies, but I am just crap at putting myself forward. I've got a hell of a lot more bolshy/outspoken confident since having DD, but inviting myself somewhere? Can't do it.

Bugger, hyphens still not working

err

We are married and have no money,there are no ontap babysitters (we have no willing local family to ask).

As adults ,we've had no time away together from the dc's in well over 2 years.

No smugness here.

Why don't you invite them over to yours if you are on your own?
I agree it must be very hard to be a single parent i have a few friends who are ones.
i am afraid i loose track of which weekends they have the kids if i am going to invite them its regardless.
i think the one bonus of being a single parent is the freedom of having child free weekends occasionally !

Ime couples invite other couples. I only get invited by myself with ds (not when couples are invited). Ds has no contact with his father so I never get child free weekends.

YABU. you have shit friends, it has nothing to do with the plight of single parents in general. And people aren't privelidged because they have a solid marriage, its not all about random luck. Perhaps they don't invite you because you don't seem to like "the fuckers"?

YANBU

At the risk of sounding a bit oneupmanship-ish here, consider yourself lucky that you do have those weekends to yourself and make the fucking most of them!!!!! INVITE YOURSELF!

What is the worst that can happen?
Its probably an oversight and if anyone is so shitty enough to exclude you on purpose then they are not worth your effort.

Oh and dutch courage is a marvellous thing in such circumstances.

Oh no, Poshwellies, wasn't having a 'go' at married couples, smug or otherwise. Was just saying that in a circle of close friends, it would be nice if they thought to include the single one (i.e. me) now and again. Actually, that's unfair, they do for the most part, but there's other times when I do just seem to fall off the radar. Although I am happy on my own with DD, if a man like my friends have came along, I would become a 'smug married' in a shot . And no, before anyone starts, my friends aren't worried about me making off with their husbands, it's not like that at all. One of them is my 'proxy' husband when I need my laptop/electrics/insert other 'manly' stuff fixing. I love him but would no more come onto him than I would my own grandad.

Maybe your smug married friends want to have an evening with other smug married friends once in a while.

Perhaps they like to discuss their privilaged lifestyle without some jealous bitch someone commenting on MN?

Runnybottom, I have lovely friends whom I love. Do you?

jealous??? doubt that....

dorie nice colours. What a shallow bitch.

Sounds to me as if dorie could benefit from starting her own thread in the relationships section .

Oh, good to see it's not just me the hyphens aren't working for, Dorie. I think I said earlier that I wasn't envious, and also that it was a daytime bbq, but, hey ho, details, eh? This was not intended to be a dig at married couples, smug or otherwise, as I have said, and you taking it as such says more about your situation than mine. Jealous bitch? Really?

I mentioned to my married friends that it is about time I thought about dating again (no one since ds was born). All without exception said how they would absolutely hate to be in that position and couldn't think of anything worse. Not one thought about the effect of those comments on me. Made me realise that I did appear to have a large number of smug married friends. Not something I'd really thought about before then.

pmsl at hyphens

Well Whitecherry the OP obviously has a problem with married couples. She called them smug and privilaged, yet claims she prefers to be single. Or does she only prefer to be single when the married "privilaged" are not having a BBQ with their friends??

Ninah, how come you can do strike outs? Now I am jealous and am seriously considering coming onto Dorie's husband

sorry! didn't think that would work either
most of my friends are fairly open to including me, but i have been single for 4 years and made new friends
op since you've known these people so long it couldn't do any harm to say, i'm free on that sat, could I join you?

smug single me