The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Summer into Autumn 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice, solidarity and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. We love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too. You're here because you are strong and want to pull free. However ashamed and wretched you are feeling right now, as you read this sentence, I can absolutely guarantee that someone here has felt exactly as you do now and knows what you are enduring. It can change. You are not shameful. You are strong and you CAN do this.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Evenings are drawing in, the season of hot chocolate approaches. Power up with your favourite anthem (The ever-fabulous Dolly is reminding us "Better Get To Livin'"; and the Wilson Phillips girls "Hold On" in hot pursuit) and find your safe space here. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Thank you everyone for your input!

I think a selection of stock phrases is what I need, I’m going with “I just don’t fancy it today” for now when offered, seems to be working well so far!

And yes, I do appreciate my husband will have to just suck it up if he doesn’t like it for a while. I think he’ll get used to it eventually. I need to do what is good for me, other people’s emotions aren’t my responsibility.

So I might as well stick around on your ship ☺️ it’s a glorious morning here, and I’m enjoying my cup of tea in bed.

I hope it all goes through smoothly for you @WendyWagonhouse buying/selling is unnecessarily stressful in England!

Morning All.

I think that it’s a week since I posted, I really don’t know where the time goes. That said, we have had a few days away visiting family. Lovely, but very tiring. Not an issue re drinking - they are very much one small glass of wine either before or during dinner type of folk anyway.

Welcome @Winterfane - the fact you’ve posted here is a positive first step. I’d wager we’ve all woken up in the middle of the night due to alcohol. I honestly don’t know now how I managed for so long on such disturbed and non-restorative rest. And the anxiety and lethargic feeling the next day. Only to drink again that evening. The sleep I get now is one of the very many major reasons I don’t want to drink now. I hope you have managed to sleep a bit anyway.

Hope you feel better soon @WendyWagon. Fully agree with @LlamaFluff that conveyancing in England is ridiculously stressful.

So today I’m having a short trot on the treadmill, I have a few bits of paperwork to do. Some stretching. Get DH sorted and then we’ve been invited for dinner at family, which will be a nice change for me - I usually host.

It is glorious here. I’m going to try to post more often now we are back into our routine.

Made the decision this morning that I want to quit. And for the first time ever, I really, really want to. I don't want a break from alcohol, I don't want to cut down, I want to be free of it forever. Being able to say that already makes me feel lighter.

I can never stop at one. I always want more and more. A bottle of wine is nothing now. For the first time this week I bought two and got halfway through the second one. I've used the try dry app in the past and have done dry January, but the goal was never to stop entirely.

I've always been a happy drunk, but yesterday I had an argument with my teenage daughter - we were both drinking at a family party. I'm mortified. I don't want this to ever happen again.

So this is my day 1.

I've downloaded the sober sidekick app, after reading about it on another thread. Are there any books that are worth getting? Or podcasts?

Thought I’d link this current thread, if anyone needs reminding why we’ve chosen to be AF (I appreciate we might all have temptations, but the intention doesn’t change).

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5587790-if-youre-tea-total-can-you-tell-me-the-benefits?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

Welcome @CrazyCatMam and well done for taking the tough decision. I'm a crazy cat mam too😻two lovely cats, a black boy and a tabby girlie.

I'm not really one for books and podcasts but I've seen plenty recommended on this thread in the past so I'm sure one of the lovely Shipmates will have recommendations for you.

Stay strong and take it day by day.

Welcome @CrazyCatMam . These are the recommendations from @REP22, which are all very helpful: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind)

I also recommend The Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace (a guide to 30 days alcohol free, and unlearning some of the assumptions we have about alcohol), and Alcohol Explained by William Porter, which is all about the effects of alcohol on your mind and body

Morning all.
Up early as the dog is still shaking his ears.

Birthday brunch for my friend today. Just 3/ 4 of us I think. One lady has just spent a month touring Australia so that should be interesting. Back in the day we'd be on the bucks fizz.

Feeling nervous about the house sale this week. Apparently they've had a desk top valuation which seems odd to me.

I will not drink today

Morning all
Welcome @CrazyCatMam. I'd really recommend the Alcohol Experiment - if you download the naked mind app you can do it on that for free - daily videos that you can listen to. I believe some did it via the book but I liked the app. I credit it with making this stick.
Welcome also to @Winterfane!

I found a lovely alcohol free red which I'm going to take to a gathering on Saturday along with my usual Thomson & Scott. I don't know most people there apart from the host. I'm driving too which helps but with this host there's always an option of staying and celebrations are risky for me so I'm going fully armed! It's by Moderato.

Good morning shipmates,

Back at work with a bump after our week away. Madness. Hearty welcomes to @Winterfane and @CrazyCatMam - I'm so glad you have found us. Much kindness and understanding await you here.

Sid sends greetings. The Cone of Shame is now permanently removed and all is well.

Strength and courage. It will be alright. xx

Hi everyone

After being Alcohol free for 53 days I drank Thursday night.

It turned to 4 nights drinking, it is scary how fast it escalated.

Things were ok the first 3 nights I had a bottle of wine and a mini bottle of wine. I actually felt ok the next day. Yesterday I woke and I felt slightly worse.

Then last night a fried called and I was having such a good chat I had the wine and then some Gin that DP had in the house. I don't even like Gin but would sometimes resort to having it when I ran out.

I feel like crap this morning.

I am really going to try to not drink and take it day by day for now. I hope to come back to the thread in a few weeks when I feel more stable xx

Morning Shipmates

It's my two-year sober-versary today. Even after two years, I remain conscious that I am one sip away from back to where I started. The main good thing about staying dry for two years is that I am properly out of 'habit drinking' - I don't have to think about not drinking at the times I always used to drink (Friday, Saturday, Sunday, whenever I was in a pub or licensed restaurant).

That unfortunately doesn't stop temptation striking - at times of stress, at times of celebration, at times of boredom, and most commonly for me if I encounter fictional drinking - books, TV, films - where people are having a drink and it's shown in a positive way - that makes me fancy one myself.

But knowing my life is better without alcohol in it helps keeps me strong. The memory of terrible hangovers, embarrassing or selfish behaviour. I fundamentally don't like the person alcohol turns me into. As a more trivial pleasure, I still enjoy it when asked by a healthcare professional whether I drink alcohol, and just being able to say 'no' - rather than in the old days trying to work out exactly what lie I could tell them about how much I drank, to sound plausible yet not excessive.

Wishing everyone strength and a sober, productive week!

Many congratulations on your 2 years @PhantomOfAllKnowledge ! 🎉

2 years is brilliant @PhantomOfAllKnowledge :)

congratulations on your 2 years @PhantomOfAllKnowledge . Some day I want to be you.

Fictional drinking also gets to me a bit.

@PhantomOfAllKnowledge wow and congratulations 🎉

Congrats on your soberversary @PhantomOfAllKnowledge, what an amazing achievement!

Me too @anewyearthisyear - seemingly endless fictional cocktails with no impairment or consequences...

Very many congratulations on 2 years @PhantomOfAllKnowledge - that's epic! x

@PhantomOfAllKnowledge congratulations on your 2 year anniversary. It's inspiring to hear from people who are doing well.

Congratulations @PhantomOfAllKnowledge. Brilliant!

Well done, @PhantomOfAllKnowledge! It's great when you can start thinking in bigger units - days become weeks, become months and now years😀

I am now in week 2 of my second run. I have a Big Weekend coming up (awards ceremony at which I am getting an award). It involves four nights in hotels and celebrations, so I know it will be hard, but I am determined not to have to put red cells on the spreadsheet. The big day is the second day of Week 3, so there may be a temptation to think I can just start again, but I don't want to do that.

I remember a similar but different occasion not long after I stopped the first time. It was a reception for the start of a project I was starting, and all the participants got together for induction and getting to know one another. I was tempted, but stuck to apple juice, and absolutely nobody cared. There were several drivers there, and I assumed people thought I was one of them. If they even noticed.

This time my husband will be with me. he probably won't drink at the event. but I'm sure he will in the hotels - it can be hard not to. I think that's where I will be tested most, to be honest. I don't want to make a twit of myself at the ceremony, but I can predict a feeling of 'just one - you deserve it' coupled with adrenaline, and need to resist it absolutely. Even a glass of wine with dinner would tip the scales.

Thank you all for your kind wishes and the ongoing support and inspiration from everyone's posts, as much needed and valued after two years as on the first day.

Wow @PhantomOfAllKnowledge that's an amazing achievement. Well done!

Thanks for the warm welcome everyone. I will check out the recommendations. Have had a look through some of the apps and downloaded one of the books.

I tentatively told DH that I'd like to give sobriety a go. He was sceptical at best. He probably thinks I've over-reacting and there's nothing wrong with my alcohol intake. We don't buy alcohol as part of the weekly shop, so whenever we decide to have a drink we have to go to the off licence. I've asked him not of offer me any wine.

Family members have assured me that I did nothing wrong, teenage DD was being a dick head and wouldn't leave me alone. I tried to keep the peace, but she flew off the handle. She is fiery, whereas I'm more laid back. But the feeling of not remembering what happened because I'd been drinking has really shaken me. I woke up with no recollection of what happened, just a feeling is done something awful, and had to piece the parts back together. Teenagers are difficult to deal with sober, never mind drunk.

Fictionalised drinking always gets to me too. How many times do we see glamorous women come home from their high powered jobs, kick off their heels and open a bottle of red? Then they're up at 6am the next day and back at work like nothing happened.

@ShyMaryEllen I have a Big Weekend coming up (awards ceremony at which I am getting an award)...

Wow, congratulations!!!

Morning all.

The fictionalised drinking and the HUGE glasses of red. Red is sophisticated see.. do they not just have a constant headache?

@CrazyCatMam- don't let the opinions of others tell you how you feel. It's enough that YOU have had enough of how alcohol is making you feel physically and mentally.

I've said this before but I know my DH was, if not sceptical, at least a little disappointed.. but the reason was a perceived loss of that 'in this together'ness that we had when drinking together. However what wasn't a feeling of 'togetherness' was the sniping, tiredness, and frustration that was a thread that ran through our lives as well which doesn't exist in the same way now. Of course we still argue like everyone does on occasion but I can say with absolute certainty that our relationship is better now even though I didn't think it was bad. It wasn't bad - but it's much better now.