The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Summer into Autumn 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice, solidarity and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. We love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too. You're here because you are strong and want to pull free. However ashamed and wretched you are feeling right now, as you read this sentence, I can absolutely guarantee that someone here has felt exactly as you do now and knows what you are enduring. It can change. You are not shameful. You are strong and you CAN do this.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Evenings are drawing in, the season of hot chocolate approaches. Power up with your favourite anthem (The ever-fabulous Dolly is reminding us "Better Get To Livin'"; and the Wilson Phillips girls "Hold On" in hot pursuit) and find your safe space here. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Hi everyone. I’d like to join please - or should I say I need to join. I’m lying here awake, riddled with anxiety, hungover and starving but I can’t face food. I’ve been reading through the thread and can see it’s massively supportive - but too many to name check!

My drinking has escalated massively over the past five years or so but am now getting black out drunk on the weekends. My drinking has ruined a lot of trips/holidays and my family just hate it.

What I am struggling with most is that I still think about alcohol and cannot imagine my life without it. I did a sober holiday about a year ago and it just wasn’t as much fun.

How do I move on from that mind set? How do I reconcile that I’m not able to moderate and I just want to “feel normal” ie drink like everyone else. I feel I’ve been robbed of something even though it’s literally a poison! I actually hate alcohol and the way it’s promoted in society.

I’m stocking up on quit lit, have ordered some AF drinks from Amazon, looking into SMART recovery - but plan to contribute here for more accountability. ❤️

@Dibdibbob welcome, you’ve made the first step, joining this group helped me beyond measure and kept me accountable.
My tip is to download TryDry the app, something very tangible about ticking it off each night to say you haven’t drunk. It’s a day by day process and I promise it gets easier.
Poison is the right word, in the early days I used to play that song in my head when I was in the booze aisle in the supermarket.

Morning all.
Welcome @Dibdibbob - I’m glad you’ve decided to join us.

I really get that “I can’t imagine it” feeling. When I had done Sober Spring (March - June 2022, a lifetime ago 🤣), a friend asked me if that was it between me and alcohol and I said I honestly didn’t know - I couldn’t imagine going on holiday and not drinking. But I managed it (with support from the ladies on here), and yes the first sober holiday was weird, but each one after that has been easier.

Two thoughts for you: being sober long term does not feel like the early days of not drinking. Those early days are HARD (sorry) - you have physical effects of giving up alcohol (crap sleep etc), having to sit with emotions, learn new habits etc. Life does not feel like that by the time you get to 6 months sober. You just have to trust the process, one day at a time.

A useful analogy is a bad break up from an inappropriate boyfriend. Oh, there were some brilliant times, and it’s natural to be wistful for those- but in the end you weren’t right for each other, and you need to move on to discover a happier life

I will not drink today

@FiloPasty thank you - I’ve downloaded the I am Sober app - I’m sitting at 14 hours and looking forward to seeing the days go up and up.

@Onewildandpreciouslife thank you - what you say is true. I’m trying to think of it as me having a disease - I know that offends some people - what I mean is like treat it like diabetes - you can’t have sugar and you can’t wish it away. I cannot drink - it just is ruining my life and relationships. I like the inappropriate relationship analogy. I did do a sober holiday once and genuinely thought it was a bit meh, but I’ve got to change my mindset- spoiling trips by getting bladdered and then lying in bed dying for two days is the absolute opposite of a good time!

@mermadeincornwall - how many days have you managed? IWNDWYT ❤️

Morning all.

@Lavrander , only dogs is very funny.

My husband got scouted once for a modelling job and it was for naughty pictures! When I think back it was very funny. No one is providing 'sample clothes' for a 6' 5" man.

Welcome @Dibdibbob we are a supportive bunch. Moderation is alcohol bingo and I just cant do it. Good luck today. Eggs if you can face it

A friend shared this today and it resonated x

@Onewildandpreciouslife I'm so pleased and relieved to hear your news!

I've been thinking of you - just very glad to hear that the seas have calmed ❤

Hello all.

I stupidly insisted on buying wine when we went to the shops on Sunday.

Haven’t had a drink since though. But been feeling very low and tearful.

I know I can’t keep drinking to numb myself, I’ve been doing it since forever.

And I can’t understand why I started drinking again when I had been sober for eight months (ten years ago)? And then seven months two years later?? And three months just last year??? I did the initial hard bit every single time and then start the whole shitty cycle again. Just why?

And right now I’m scared I won’t manage to get there again. Hell, even doing four and a half weeks at the beginning of the year seems impossible just now.

I am so sad and so angry with myself.

Watched another episode of the ‘Soberful’ podcast the other day and Veronica Valli said in order to stay sober long term we have to stop outsourcing the management of our emotions to alcohol. Or something like that.

Guess that’s where I’ve always failed.

Oh well, I try again. Day four today. Again.

Hope everyone is well 🌺

Sorry, I’m still trying to catch up on here.

Thank you all for the kind words.

And congratulations @WendyWagon ! 🥳

I saw an instagram post yesterday that said if yesterday was your day 1, you could be 100 days sober by 1 January. No idea if that’s true, but it’s a good thought!

Good morning Shipmates,

Hearty welcome to @Dibdibbob - I am very glad you have found us. Lots of kindness, wisdom and solidarity here.

That's one of my favourites @FiloPasty - I posted it a few threads ago. Keeps me going for sure.

"OnlyDogs" @Lavrander 😂 It might come to that. Or dancing for pennies in the high street. Sid would be up for either.

Keep going @GunnelVallquist - you'll get there. We believe in you. xx

Strength and courage. It will be alright. x

Morning.

@WendyWagonI absolutely love the phrase that moderation is alcohol bingo. Sometimes, a phrase just lands and this one does for me. Thank you.

@Onewildandpreciouslife - I’m sorry that I haven’t been here long enough to know your health history but I’m so very pleased for you. Processing ‘stuff’ is such an individual experience, you don’t have to ‘let everything in (or even out)’ emotionally. I work best letting a little bit of the trauma of last 4 years following DH’s stroke out when I’m ready to welcome and sit with the feelings for a while. I sometimes need to then shut the door again until the next time. However you are, and whatever works for you is totally okay x

How you feeling today @REP22? Lovely photo!

Hello @Dibdibbob - I’m new too. I have found that it helps to find YOUR reason to quit. For me, I never really embarrassed myself or family, I was more a quiet drunk on the sofa. It was the health aspect for me, some blood tests with markers out of range, loving my running more than my drinking and (being truthful) seeing the repercussions of DH’s stroke and wanting to live a full and healthy life well into my dotage! Find your thing if you can. And you might have to sit with feelings rather more than pouring them into a bottle, as we all have.

@GunnelVallquistone day at a time is all you can do. This is different, but one thing my coach tells me when I am on the start line of a marathon is ‘stay in the mile you are running’. In this case, thinking that you’ve got another 16 or 12 or 8 or whatever to go is overwhelming, but you can run another 5 minutes. Commit to this day only. X

I'm on the mend @needastrongone - thank you for asking. Just waiting for the garage to ring to let me know the full horrors of the Sidmobile. I daresay it will all be alright. xx

Thank you @REP22 , much appreciated.

Hope you and Sid are feeling better. 🌺

Thank you @needastrongone . 🌺

I am just feeling so overwhelmed at the moment.

Knowing I was supposed to go home next week.

Oh well, I keep going (or trying at least)

…And you might have to sit with feelings rather more than pouring them into a bottle, as we all have…

This is it @needastrongone , isn’t it? The crux of it. For me anyway.

That made me cry.

Thank you for sharing @FiloPasty.

Hello @Dibdibbob 🌺

I am new too. I only joined a couple of weeks ago.

I have had various stints of sobriety over the past decade (the longest being eight months), but I stupidly always go back to drinking.

Trying to give up again, for good.

So many lovely people on here.

Sorry to hear about your car @REP22 …what a nightmare.

Hi all,

Rep you are really having a time of it, hope that is the end of it now!

@Onewildandpreciouslife its great to have some good news xx

@GunnelVallquist sorry your are struggling, it really is just one day at a time x

I haven't been on because I am feeling a bit negative, I dont want to bring the mood down, day 40 so still hanging in there but I am feeling low and have no real reason. I feel like I need to shake myself a bit. I am wondering now is it maybe things leveling out but I feel like I need to pull myself together and be more grateful x

Thank you @pinkclouds26 and sorry to hear you are also finding things rough at the moment.

🌺

Bless you @pinkclouds26 - I'm sorry you are feeling low. But fantastically strong for not caving in. I often find myself a bit low at this time of year - sometimes I wonder if its a minor touch of SAD. Better times will come. Hang on for a bit. It will be alright. xx

Watched another episode of the ‘Soberful’ podcast the other day and Veronica Valli said in order to stay sober long term we have to stop outsourcing the management of our emotions to alcohol. Or something like that.
Guess that’s where I’ve always failed.

I think this is very true. Alcohol dulls a lot of emotions and easily creates a false "high" for a very brief period as you get that dopamine hit.

At nearly 15 months in I miss that dopamine hit and I very much recognise that I have to sit with my emotions. Things can seem quite flat at times as there is no swinging towards a high and then the inevitable crash of a hangover.

It can be a challenge at times managing one's own emotions, especially if year in year out alcohol has previously squashed down so much. I'm finding it quite a learning curve having to sit with my thoughts without any interference from alcohol.

But each day, each week at a time brings further distance between what was and what is now.