The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Summer into Autumn 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice, solidarity and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. We love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too. You're here because you are strong and want to pull free. However ashamed and wretched you are feeling right now, as you read this sentence, I can absolutely guarantee that someone here has felt exactly as you do now and knows what you are enduring. It can change. You are not shameful. You are strong and you CAN do this.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Evenings are drawing in, the season of hot chocolate approaches. Power up with your favourite anthem (The ever-fabulous Dolly is reminding us "Better Get To Livin'"; and the Wilson Phillips girls "Hold On" in hot pursuit) and find your safe space here. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

I second the recommendations from @REP22 in her OP - I would also add The Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace, which is a day by day guide to the first 30 days without alcohol, and Alcohol Explained by William Porter, which is a great guide to what alcohol does to your body and mind

Welcome @pinklilystem! I really liked The unexpected Joy of being sober. Also Alcohol Explained - depending on what motivates you. Alcohol Explained is a good one to help realise the effects it has a drug - it took the blinkers off for me. But the former recommendation is a good one for tips on keeping going. I still do a bit of gratitude every now and again, and found it particularly helpful at times when I was about to hit the f it button.

I will not drink today

Morning all.

I have a free day which is highly unusual.
Ebay not going well so I don't think I'll waste the day on that.

Morning all. Up far too early.

We offered on the pink cottage yesterday. Not a no or a yes so they'll want a bit more I expect.
Exciting but also it's like waiting for a bus.
The last two houses went to final offers and we got gazumped.

Two big jobs have come up and one I really fancy but it's whether I'm well enough at this point. Definitely moving around more. Big commutes I can no longer do (or want to do).

Morning all
Fingers crossed on the cottage
It smells very autumnal today. I think this year I I'll get a wreath for the door.

I have a work 'do' tonight. They're always hard. Mostly as I get bored! But I won't drink today.

I will not drink today

@WendyWagon Hoping you get good news on the pink cottage today.

@GunnelVallquist How are you feeling now, I hope you were able to weather the storm over the weekend.

Hello @pinklilystem - lovely to meet you.

Wishing all Shipmates a happy Tuesday. The sun is out here for a change, some consolation for having passed the equinox, I always feel sad at the autumn equinox knowing it's six months till our days will be longer than our nights again. But on the other hand, it marks the halfway point of the 'getting darker' phase, only 3 months till the winter solstice!

Morning.

Fingers crossed re the Pink Cottage today.

Hope you are feeling somewhat improved @GunnelVallquist.

Welcome @pinklilystem - I’m new around these parts too.

I’ve had a very stressful few days as DH (who now needs a lot of care due to a severe stroke) has been unwell. I’ve been reflecting on the tools I have to cope with the feelings of wanting to drink as a stress relief and I’m glad to realise that actually, I’m pretty ‘tooled up’ in this regard. However, now that he’s feeling better and some form of normalcy is returning - I think this is when I have more feelings of temptation. Far fewer as the months go by, and I’ve now got the memory of when I did have one glass of wine - it really did not deliver on any level whatsoever (taste, pleasure, rest, anxiety, sleep disruption etc). It makes me realise we need tools for every scenario don’t we?

Anyway, the weather is stunning here- it feels like a summers day. I love this time of year.

Have a good day everyone.

Hello Shipmates,

Come down with a bit of lurgy, but low-level. I haven't had a cold in years. And I sound like Marge Simpson. Sid is continuing to mend well.

Good luck with the cottage @WendyWagon - really rooting for you on this one.

Love to you all. Hope you're doing OK today @GunnelVallquist.

Strength and courage. xx

The ladies from the pink cottage have said yes!

Great news @WendyWagon!

Ah poor you @REP22, low level bugs are everywhere at the minute and can make you feeling very ‘meh’. Hope you feel better soon.

YAY!!

Congratulations, @WendyWagon. I hope you are fully installed by Christmas.

I am seriously procrastinating today. I was meant to have a meeting earlier, but it has been postponed until tomorrow, which means tomorrow is insanely busy, with a hair appointment, another meeting, the postponed one and then people round in the evening. Today, I was supposed to muck out the house and cook the main, but I've done neither. Time has flown. I'll try to force myself to do the cooking before bed, but there are no guarantees.

Get well soon, @REP22.

Thanks @needastrongone and @ShyMaryEllen - much appreciated. The Sidmobile goes in for its annual service and MOT tomorrow, so between the three of us (me, Sid, car) there is a sense of unity in rattling.

YAAAAAAAAYYYYYY! Brilliant news @WendyWagon , absolutely fantastic. x

Thank you @Onewildandpreciouslife and @lavranderfor the recommendations, I’ve order the unexpected joy of being sober.

Thank you @PhantomOfAllKnowledgeand @needastrongone

Congratulations @WendyWagon and hope you feel better soon @REP22

It’s been a beautiful few days here too, the sunshine does help. I’ve also been reflecting on my triggers after taking this leap and what is in my toolkit, starting to realise the impact that my very stressful job has on my life and pondering what can be done about that, as the intense pressure I feel along with the constant low level anxiety make a bit of a perfect storm.

I’ve been trying a meditation app and some breathing exercises to help, which seem to provide some relief.

Wishing you all a peaceful evening

Brilliant news @WendyWagon!
I'm a big fan of the headspace app @pinklilystem but don't use it as much as I should. I found it so helpful earlier this year when work was incredibly stressful. My oura ring app also told me that my HRV improved overnight on the days I practiced mindfulness, so there is something in it.

Morning all.
Great news about the cottage @WendyWagon - I hope it all goes smoothly

I hear you on the stressful job / low level anxiety @pinklilystem - that was kind of the background noise to my life, to which all the other stresses of family life got lumped on top off. What I found was that the longer I was sober, the more manageable the stress became- that’s a 3-6 month benefit, so worth holding out for.

I had good news from my scans - all the cancer seems to have gone - but I am not as elated about this as everyone expects me to be. I think it will take a lot of processing, as this was a very unlikely outcome, and I am very conscious that I’m only as good as
my next scan. Gosh, we’re complex creatures aren’t we 🤣 I am sure I will settle back into my “one life, live it well” mindset soon, but I’m very much looking forward to seeing my therapist next week!!

Morning all.

What wonderful news @Onewildandpreciouslife

I do think it takes time to process good news as well as bad. I did feel like that at the beginning of the year. A sort of disbelief after the battle.

Bff visiting today and we'll be discussing the nitty gritty of the move.

I will not drink today

That's fantastic news @Onewildandpreciouslife - I am so, so pleased for you. But I understand what you mean (I think) - there remains a weariness and sorrow at the ordeal you have been through, along with the apprehension that it might happen again, and the realisation that the strength you have been mustering for a valiant battle is suddenly, likely, no longer needed - so where do those feelings go? Sending you much love as you process the new developments and take stock.

Have a great time with your bff @WendyWagon - still so pleased about the cottage for you.

I had a rotten night. Cold (if cold it be) is well and truly bedded-in. I had to sleep almost sitting up, like The Elephant Man. It's been years since I've been ill and I am not a patient patient. Sid then wants to soothe and nurture; which can involve wanting to cling to my head. It's borne of love, I know, but isn't much fun at 3am.

But how much worse would I be feeling if I'd taken a drink to soothe myself? Infinitely worse, I've no doubt.

On we press. Strength and courage. It will all be alright soon. x

And now the car has failed its MOT. Likely to be over £1,000. On top of the £2k I've just forked out for Sidney.

But I will not drink. I got a whiff over the weekend of some pink gin when I was out for a meal. It was a tipple of choice during the darkest days and I was surprised at the visceral reaction I had to the scent. It almost caused me to be physically sick. Just from the smell of it. Mad. But also, perhaps, reassuring.

I do it for Sid. And he is worth it. x

Oh blow @REP22 - sometimes it’s just one darn thing after another, isn’t it?

And thank you for your kind words earlier- you were exactly right. I’d been bracing myself for bad news so that energy needs to go somewhere. There is also a slight sense that I use my illness as a justification not to have to do certain things - so now what? My therapist is very keen for me to not feel I need justification- if I don’t want to do something, I can just say no. But I am a bit of a slow learner!

Hope you feel better soon - being tired and bunged up won’t be helping your mood

@Onewildandpreciouslife gosh I could have written your post.

I have been feeling exactly like that, what next etc

@Onewildandpreciouslife oh I’m happy to read your news, totally understand how you must be feeling off kilter, it’s a lot to process x

I’m still sober, saw some pics of me this morning when I was still drinking and I look terrible, so puffy, overweight and there is a misery behind the eyes even though I’m smiling in the photos. Life isn’t perfect now, but it’s a damn sight better than those days.

Head scratches to Sid x

Lovely to read your news @Onewildandpreciouslife. I understand that it still isn't 'over' but it's a start.

Oh no @REP22what a few weeks you've had. Will cabin boy Sid consider setting up an OnlyDogs account? Might help him to earn his keep. Hope you feel better soon.

You're right @FiloPasty- whilst being sober doesn't automatically mean everything is always the bunnies and rainbow field, it is better. I know now that when things get stressful or hard that the last thing that will help is to drink something that will make it more stressful and hard by messing with my brain chemistry.

Night all