The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Summer into Autumn 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice, solidarity and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. We love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too. You're here because you are strong and want to pull free. However ashamed and wretched you are feeling right now, as you read this sentence, I can absolutely guarantee that someone here has felt exactly as you do now and knows what you are enduring. It can change. You are not shameful. You are strong and you CAN do this.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Evenings are drawing in, the season of hot chocolate approaches. Power up with your favourite anthem (The ever-fabulous Dolly is reminding us "Better Get To Livin'"; and the Wilson Phillips girls "Hold On" in hot pursuit) and find your safe space here. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Morning.

Apologies, I have missed a day of the thread - a long day travelling home. Hector-dog was beyond excited to see me and made all sorts of unexpected noises to try to express his joy 😊.

In any event, In days gone by I’d usually pour a glass of wine as soon as I walked in after such a long drive as I ‘deserved’ it. Yesterday, the kettle went on.

I will not drink today. Have a lovely Sunday everyone.

Morning all.

I let myself watch strictly yesterday (I had a self imposed ban last year after the sexual abuse cover up).
However I thought it weird ( might just be me). I know it's Sunday so I'll say it felt like an 'all chums together fest'. That's the polite version.

As a child I was a dance competitor along with all the other nonsense I did to get out of the house. I still love dancing. However I've decided to go to Verona for the Opera next year. The DH knows his Bach to his Blur so he'll be happy. We had a fab time in Florence a few years ago so I'm going to do the research

DS visit today on his way to Welsh Wales.

Cuddles to dear Sid.

Morning all.

I wish I could stop thinking about wine.

Verona is such a beautiful city @WendyWagon

@GunnelVallquist it is not your friend, you need to make new ones. Despite not being a beer drinker previously the 0% peroni has been my saviour.

Thank you @FiloPasty , I know you’re right.

I was listening to the Soberful podcast the other day and the woman said to ‘play it forward’…like if you really fancy a drink, then think not just about the initial first glass and warm fuzzy feeling, but how you’re going to feel later on/ the next morning when you’ve invariably overdone it yet again.

And God knows that was the case for me on Friday morning.

Sorry to hear about your cancelled procedure @PhantomOfAllKnowledge - that's pants. Hope you don't have to wait too long for the rescheduled appointment.

I've been to Verona @WendyWagon - it's lovely.

"Play it forward" is excellent advice @GunnelVallquist - three words that I often use to myself. I'm glad you like the poem. I have similar feelings about children. I am childless, though not by choice, and it has been a desperate source of despair to me at times. But I think of all the things I have done that wouldn't have been possible if I had a child and responsibilities. From small things like watching what I want on TV in my pyjamas to just deciding to get up and go out somewhere random. Children are wonderful blessings, to be sure, but life without one doesn't have to be a curse. You can still being joy to those you love.

Couldn't face Strictly last night @WendyWagon - I always found the opening show a bit much, but I might well give it a look. One of the contestants is Graham from Dogs Behaving (Very) Badly - a programme that Sid likes to watch. I am looking forward to Bake Off this year with Nigella.

Strength and courage brave friends. It will be OK. x

Thank you @REP22 @ShyMaryEllen @Onewildandpreciouslife @GunnelVallquist . I have emailed PALS now as I'm tired of being messed about. not over-hopeful but anything is worth a try!

@REP22I wonder if I can join? It’s taken a long time but I’m finally coming terms with my problematic relationship with alcohol after many, many binges and I’m determined to quit for good. One day at a time. I attended an AA meeting today and hoping support here will help me too.

Welcome @pinklilystem

Thank you @WendyWagon

How did the meeting go?

Welcome aboard! There's plenty of support here. Sometimes, posting something every day keeps people focussed - sometimes just general chat and sometimes about how we are doing with abstinence. We don't tend to talk about drinking, although some of us do have occasional blips, as they can be triggering for someone who is trying not to think about it, but otherwise anything goes, really.

Sid is our cabin boy and mascot, and @REP22 is currently our captain. Have a good mooch about, and if there's anything you need to know, ask😀

My advice to all new shipmates is to get some Thiamine (bit B1) and take high does for six weeks or so after stopping drinking. It protects the brain against alcohol withdrawal damage. It's cheap and readily available.

That’s really helpful @ShyMaryEllen thank you.
The meeting was good, it’s taken a lot for me to get this far so it was good to go along and listen, it made me feel less alone, as I don’t have anyone in my life I can talk to about this stuff. I’m going to go again next week and see how it goes.

General chat is great and Sid is gorgeous! Thanks for the vit B1 tip too. Hope you’re all having a restful Sunday

Hello @pinklilystem nice to meet you. Of course you are very, very welcome here. I am glad you have found us. It takes a great deal of courage and bravery to recognise that you might have a bit of an issue with drinking and to take steps to try and make things better. I hope that your meeting went alright.

I am glad that you have found us. There are so many friendly and wise people here; they certainly keep me going. We all either have been or are still at the various stages in keeping clear of the stuff, so we all understand how horrible and difficult it can be.

Please feel free to post as much or as little as you would like. There is no judgement, no scorn, no unkindness here. Just solidarity and understanding.

Cabin Boy / Powder Monkey Sid is returning to light activities after a minor operation and extended cone-wearing due to his fiddling. He's trying to hard to be grumpy, but he's having a lovely day today and can't help himself. This is what a sober day brings; enjoyment of simple things like a sunny day, a gentle stroll, the melodic birdsong and no prickly leaves in your lampshade. Sid sends a special smile just for you. Welcome aboard. xx

Good luck! Keeping everything crossed for you.

Hello @pinklilystem 👋

Good evening (can I say evening already?) lovely people.

I have been doing a lot of soul searching today (I do every day really…or as my husband says; I ‘torture myself constantly’).

Anyway…your comment about your mother and father really struck a chord with me @REP22 .

I think my father has definitely enabled my mother’s toxic behaviour since forever.

I think I mentioned previously about my mother insisting on smoking indoors, wherever she goes. So it’s not just in their house, around my father (who has never smoked and has had cancer twice and heart issues…he actually retired in his fifties…luckily he had a good pension that enabled him to do so)

But anyway, I’m rambling.

My mother’s older sister had bowel cancer back in 1999. She lives about two hours from my parents’ house.

My mother drove up to visit her after her operation and when she whipped out her cigarettes, my aunt said to her ‘I would prefer if you didn’t smoke inside the house’

My mother then replied ‘Smoking relaxes me, just like a glass of wine relaxes you, and if I can’t smoke indoors then I’ll just get back in my car and drive home’

The worst bit is that this story wasn’t told to me by my aunt, but by my mother. Indignant that someone would ask her not to be so bloody selfish for once.

Deep down I know it’s not me and none of this is my fault, but that doesn’t make any of it easier.

Sorry for rambling.

Poor Sid and you too Rep! He is really keeping you on your toes, hope he is doing much better and kerps the cone on xx

I have made it to 5 weeks, had a strange up and down week but I am glad to hit day 36 alcohol free, thank you so much to all of you here, even when I don't post I am reading and it makes such a big difference, I definitely credit these threads with stopping me in my tracks this week when I could have picked up a drink.

I think I am feeling a bit more on an even keel now, but I know I have a lot of work to do.

No scan date yet, but hopefully I will hear soon xx

Hi @REP22thanks so much for your kindness. I’ve been in a bit of a hole this weekend and you’ve all made me feel better, I really appreciate that.

Hello @GunnelVallquist

5 weeks is amazing @pinkclouds26

big welcome @pinklilystem, they are a great bunch here, so helpful and understanding xx

After 5 weeks your liver will more than likely have recalibrated, and the scan will be absolutely fine. Congratulations 🥳

The trick now is to remember how awful you felt when you were worried about it, and use that feeling to put you off next time you are tempted. It's not easy, I know. Somehow we just remember the 'good' bits (ie the first mouthful, after which it goes downhill), but the anxiety, the headache, the lingering nausea, all the rest of it gets forgotten.

How on earth did I make it to eight months sober previously?

It seems impossible now.

All I can think about is wine.

(and I also had another stint of seven months, a few of two/ three months etc)

I just can’t stick to it beyond that.

😭

It always seems impossible until it’s done @GunnelVallquist

What has worked to motivate you in the past? If you think of the thing you’re most proud of doing, can you identify what tools you used to achieve it?

I am a sucker for measurable achievements, so ticking off my teacups in the TryDry app worked wonders for me. And reading all the quit lit I could get my hands on!

But for you it might be something completely different. Focus on the process, not the outcome.

Welcome @pinklilystem. We’ve all been in that hole, and we know the way out (I’m sure we have some West Wing fans on here who will get my Leo reference!)

@GunnelVallquist You can stick to it, you have proved that - but you don't need think about the heavy weight of 7+ months of sobriety - give yourself permission to take it one day at a time. You just need to get past this craving, not a craving you might have tomorrow or next week or next month.

Think in 24 hour spaces - today-you needs to be kind to you in the next 24 hours by not giving tomorrow-you a hangover, anxiety, headache, sluggishness and all those things tomorrow-you will hate.

Get through this evening and you will wake tomorrow loving yesterday-you for being strong.

Thank you @Onewildandpreciouslife are there any books you recommend? I read The Sober Diaries on a previous attempt at moderating but haven’t ready anything since.