The support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Summer 2026

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.
There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.
Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.
The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.
So climb aboard and join the shipmates (as well as our dog mascot Sid!) and see how good alcohol free life can be.

Thank you @Lavrander , @Onewildandpreciouslife and dearest @REP22 for offering to hold the thread.
I'll do the one after that.

I'm a bit scatty at the moment and if I take this interim role it will be all out. Thank God I'm sober
It's a bit of a experience stretch but fundamentally it's to coach a CEO.
It's going to cost a lot to move so I'd give it a go.

Wow that was really eye opening @Onewildandpreciouslife. It really clicks when I think about how many times I racked up a few days, stopped and felt worse than ever, I deleted my try dry app more times than I remember and started again because it looked so embarrassing. I wish I kept it now to look back.

Does anyone know can you do the alcohol experiment if you are already a couple of weeks in or does it have to be day 1, sorry if that is a stupid question.

Not a stupid question @pinkclouds26. It's best to start on day one even if you have a couple of weeks under your belt (I think I started on day 8!). It's still all relevant and it's more about the 30 days of thinking and learning rather than it needing to coincide perfectly with the day you put down the wine.

@pinkclouds26 I did the alcohol experiment when I was on day 26 and I found it helped me stay focused and got me into a comfortable place. I'm now approaching day 90. I started reading the naked mind because I wanted to cut down and not have a constant battle with myself. I soon realised moderation was not the answer and I'm a strange way it was a relief when I admitted that to myself.

My DH still drinks a bottle of red wine a night and has no desire to stop. He never experienced the inner turmoil of trying to take a break and caving in at the first excuse. He says he can take it or leave it, but he's never tried to leave it!!

I was worried about saying I'd given up for good, but he's been surprisingly supportive and patient while I scan the labels on the AF alternative drinks.

We've had the builders in since June and they won't be finished for another couple of months. I know the old me would have been drinking a bottle of wine every night. So glad I stopped when I did. It really does get easier.

Hi, Sober Shipmates! Welcome @GunnelVallquist , glad to have you aboard - and to have you clambering back on deck, @DidILeaveTheGasOn - your self-care sounds just the ticket. I've had plenty of quits from the fags/vapes and booze, and I am learning that we can't hate or shame or chide ourselves sober! The only way is to love ourselves unconditionally and be our own best mate! That makes the journey easier!

🥰

@WendyWagon , life is suddenly having a September spurt for you, isn't it?! Aren't you glad you're sober and determined for it now!

I am no use to man or beast or dog at the moment as I am in the middle of a codeine taper, and am spaced out and scrambled, rather jittery... Whereas quitting booze cold turkey is the best for me, codeine has to be a humane taper, but I still get one hell of a tweak every time I go down a step... very close to stepping off it, but rushing the process is counter-productive... Not like me to be patient, but I hafta!

Will shut up now because my brains are mince, but must say, I'd rather see Sid's 'nads than Trumps ugly phizzog... But I understand a young gentleman has to keep his air of mystery...

😎

My kittens have brought some prey into the bedroom and promptly lost it... 🤦‍♀️ This is going to be a fun night...

🐭

Thank you all for the warm welcome.

I'm past day 600 now (!!!) and thought it might help the newbies if I said that after the first month or so, I just stopped thinking about it. I feel very lucky. Occasionally I think for a second that it would be nice to join in with a celebratory glass of something - but I really, really like feeling well and happy, so it isn't hard to resist at all.

I expected it to be much harder than it actually turned out to be. I hope this doesn't sound like a breezy brag - I do know it's really tough when the habit is much deeper. But in my own case, I didn't realise until I did stop how much I had feared not being able to. I hope it's the same for you.

Wow, 600 days! That’s amazing, well done!! 👏

I am still so angry with myself for starting again after I’d been sober for eight months (and a couple of years later seven months).

But I guess I always felt I was missing out? I don’t want to feel like this anymore.

The first week or so is always really easy for me. I have done a few stints of two/ three months off as well as the odd month (like Dry January).

You’d think after doing months without and essentially doing the initial hard part I’d see the benefits and keep going, but nope.

I know that much of this is linked to my bad mental health; I have had a really difficult eleven years.

But I know of course as well that alcohol is a depressant and if you already feel low you definitely should stay away from it.

I determined to do it this time.

She says 🥴

Morning!
Wanting to hold on to the feeling of well and happy is what keeps me going to @taylorean. I'm also very motivated by a milestone. Well done on 600 days!

@GunnelVallquistwhat you are saying about not lasting longer than 7-8 months resonated with me as I had done 8 months before too and then gave up giving up. You say that you felt like you were missing out. I hope you can reframe it this time.

I see it a lot on this thread where we are beating ourselves up for not being able to handle a good thing. The motivation or thought behind saying no is due to a personal failing with alcohol. Like alcohol could be a really lovely thing if only WE could do better with it. THIS IS A LIE.

Perhaps in your 20s you went to some great nights out, festivals, house parties, clubs where you had a great time and your brain now associates that great time with the copious amounts of alcohol you and your friends drank. Or holidays sitting on a balcony watching a sunset. However the truth is the alcohol was incidental to the fun you were having. But now you always feel like you need it to have a good time - the good time happened anyway you just don't realise it.

Remember being a kid before you discovered alcohol? You may have been shy but I bet you were able to laugh, dance, chatter away, all without something to help you along. You can do it again you just need the practice.

If you don't believe me, start to spend time around people drinking if it's not too much of a trigger for you. @Gribouilleput it quite well - was it manic desperation?! But they're not having a better time than you.

Sorry for the long post this morning I just get very passionate about it!

Morning all.

One tea and a hazelnut yogurt down.

Nothing much to report house wise as we now need to start the search again.
However things are moving around our neck of the woods. Beautiful house sold yesterday that was fabulous. Too big, too expensive but a girl can dream!

Well done @taylorean huge congrats.
We're all different regarding our thoughts I think.
I've never smoked and don't understand it. I wish I could have been the same over the booze. It still plays with my mind four and a half years later.

So, so true @Lavrander - great post.

And yes to feeling well and happy @taylorean !!

Alcohol problems and poor mental health are so intricately linked @GunnelVallquist . The founder of Sober Girl Society, Mollie (Millie?) Gooch has a new book out shortly called Hangxiety about it, which I’m quite intrigued to read

Just to add I only mention the booze still plays with my mind all this time later in case anyone is reading who's the same. We're all different but with a common goal.
My path isn't straight line although I met a couple of ladies on this thread IRL who never thought about it again. Great motivators.

I will not drink today 🌻

• ”However the alcohol was always incidental to the fun you were already having”

I feel like we need our own thread of quotes. This is So true @Lavrander what a great post.

I’m just ticking along, husband is always very grumpy post Summer as the seasons change and the rain comes in. Lots of moaning about the economy, the government, tax, boring, boring mostly true but I need some positivity. To be fair he works very hard and it feels like everything is conspiring to make life fe harder. At least he doesn’t have a drunk wife any longer.

I'm one year and 2 months and it waxes and wanes in missing it.

Do I miss wine? Yes
Will I go back on it? No
Same for cigarettes and Vaping

Just like anything that you have done for many years, and in my case over 42 years, it takes a considerable amount of time for a complete change to become a new normal.

For those in the early months stick with it all. It does get easier that's for sure.

I have found that it's important creating new habits and breaking the association of typical times when a drink would be poured. The only time this doesn't really work is on holiday when alcohol is sloshing around everywhere, but I have 3 holidays under my belt now and will be heading to the 4th at Christmas.

I look back on the drinking years and it's double edged. Some memories evoke fun and youth, and some are very cringemaking with wasted days of hangovers. I hate to think the length of time all the hangovers would equate to if multiplied together.

For everyone who is currently struggling, keep marching on. The early days and weeks are the hardest.

Very wise words @Kipperandarthur

Thanks all ❤

I have plenty of other troubles and bad habits 😂I guess I have to solve them one by one...

Good morning shipmates.

Hearty welcome to @GunnelVallquist - I'm glad you're found us. This is a great place to be.

Congratulations on 600 days @taylorean, that's majestic!

Apologies for the appearance of 🍊💩 on this otherwise pure thread. The sight of Sid's "Little Sid" full-frontal may have proved too much for the tender blushing roses that we are here. I Googled "obscure p~nis" for a masking solution and that's what I got... 😉

Strength and courage brave friends. It will be alright. xx

New thread for when the hour approaches...

The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Summer into Autumn 2026 | Mumsnet

With grateful appreciation for the sterling captaincy of the fabulous @Lavrander on this one. We salute you. 🫡 ❤️x

Thank you @Lavrander .

I know that alcohol and I don’t get on long term…I have no off switch.

I have tried moderating and I just can’t do it. Eventually the wheels always come off.

I would love to be that person who can have two glasses of wine and then pop the bottle back into the fridge for another day. But I can’t.

I read the other day that once we become sober, we have to sit with our emotions and really experience them and I think maybe that’s why I have always failed.

It’s easier to numb all the trauma than tackling it head on.

😁

Sorry, chuckling at the obscure pen*s

Hehe, thank you. I can't moderate either @GunnelVallquist - I have tried, but failed each time. If it's in the house, it'll get drunk. And I am most certainly one who used drink to numb trauma and blunt the thoughts in my head, especially at night. It was never about the taste and enjoyment of the drink for me. The trouble is, that they're still there in your headspace. I used to call it "self-medicating/anaesthesia". Unhappily, though, the further it goes on, the worse the effects of the drinking are, plus they are then added to the mix of having to deal with the trauma that never actually went away as well. A perfect storm of sh~te. It's not easy having to cope without the false liquid "friend" - but putting it down is a start on the path to a better tomorrow.

After all, if it truly did help, then the happiest people on Earth would be those ones you see in the streets being tipped out of nightclubs at 3am, laughing merrily as they puke over pavements and coppers' shoes.

It's hard to imagine coping without it. Scary. But you can. And, actually, you're a pretty fantastic person. You're worth sitting there sober with. You've made it this far - won't it be great to see what happens next?

Tomorrow I have the twin joys of coned-off motorway and big out-of-town retail park as M would like a new coat. 😬 But I will be sober and thus thankful for the opportunity. And Sid and I have a special outing to look forward to next weekend, so that will cheer my soul as I stalk the aisles of oldies' undies and reinforced gussets - for 'twill never be only a coat where a big M&S is involved...

Filling up the thread.
Dance therapy.

Hahaha - that's fantastic @WendyWagon . 😀 Here's a recent "Matt" that made me smile...
x

This is the sort of thing that would happen to me.