The support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Summer 2026

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.
There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.
Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.
The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.
So climb aboard and join the shipmates (as well as our dog mascot Sid!) and see how good alcohol free life can be.

@WendyWagon i would put a handwritten note through the door. I do not trust that the estate agents put through what you say at all.

im having such a wobble, I’m only 2 weeks away from my year sober and am really feeling fuck it, am on holiday and my teenagers are pushing my buttons so much, ungrateful little sods. Wah sorry rant over. I know that answer isn’t at a the end of a bottle of wine and 3 whisky’s.

@Hopeisachoice huge congratulations for the almost year. I hope you stick to your guns. One drink (or bottle etc etc) is never one. I did 2 years and had 2 glasses of wine with people I didnt want to say no to and have been back on the merri-go-round since with months (even 6 months) off year and there but finding it hard to get it to stick again. Its such an addictive substance thats so deceptive.

@WendyWagon eugh that sounds hard. I hope it works out well for you.

Day 5. Preparing for friday evening. X

Hi all. Just got back from holidays the other day. Sobriety going surprisingly well after the very boozy holiday. I’m so glad I took the last few days of the holiday to begin this sober journey. I’ve started the Alcohol Experiment. I’ve had the book for ages but thought it could be a good companion for 30 days. I’m on day 6 of the book, although my last drink was around 12th July . Looking at my holiday drinking, I do get so much worse when drinking daily. At home, I’m
a binge drinker, usually 2 or 3 times a week. I really don’t want to go back to that. My general pattern is to drink on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.
Having had a period being Alcohol free, and allowing the alcohol to actually leave my brain, why would I do that to myself again? I know why. So many triggers in life, I have a list. But what I’m learning is that it’s literally only the first drink, for me, that feels good. The rest of the night is just topping up, and getting drunker. Huge measures, secretly poured. Even loading up “secretly “ before the first drink, so I’m ahead of everyone else.
I’ve had secret half bottles of vodka hidden, sneaking around making sure I get that hit, and 9 times out of 10, I’m awful company. Slurring early on, sometimes asleep, music extremely loud, sometimes sick, next day is basically either a full blown hangover, or just trying to function.
My work is like I’m on a go slow, just thinking about bedtime.
I’ve never been honest about my drinking before. But I’m able to see what it’s doing to me. My marriage is good, surprisingly, but I know how I look from the outside in, and I’m lucky I can make this decision before I lose that.
So I’m on day 12, day 6 of the book The Alcohol Experiment, and I’m in this for my life.

Morning all.

Hang in there @FiloPasty . I always used to find milestones hard - your brain starts doing weird things about “ooh is this forever then? That sounds a long time. Are you sure?” Shut up brain, you’re not helping- I’m not going to drink today.

Good to hear from you @MsAmanda - it’s really hard to be honest with ourselves, and you sound like you’re gaining some real insight.

Good luck with your first Friday @Hopeisachoice - planning is good. Post here if you feel yourself wavering.

That's a great update @MsAmanda . I was a binge drinker - always Friday nights, usually Saturday nights unless I was still hungover from Friday when the evening came around, usually Sunday nights in a sort of 'back to work denial' mood, often Thursday nights in an 'only have to get through Friday' mood. There was always an excuse to drink. On holiday I'd be drinking every night more or less. So many wasted days as a result, not being able to function till midday or writing the whole day off.

Much of my sobriety journey has been about breaking the habit and forming new habits. I still feel tempted from time to time but it's driven by circumstances rather than habit now.

I'm going to be honest and hope it helps.
I never had peace when I drank. I was angry and thought poor me. I hid from problems and got totally rat arsed. There's no helping a drunk.
Last night I could have hit the booze but I know today will be tough and as my dear Scottish friends would say ' what's for you won't go by you'.

Alcohol provides nothing but an empty pocket and a decaying liver. It's not a therapist or a best friend. Why we do it to ourselves is madness. Best spend the booze budget on a bit of therapy or treating a friend to a cafe lunch.

Oh no @FiloPasty - I'm so sorry the Wine Witch has got her chisel out for you. It's absolutely awful. Sid and I send you our support and love. You're so strong - but it only takes a tiny crack in the shield for the wretchedness to come flowing in. You can do it. We believe in you. 💐

@PhantomOfAllKnowledge - have you been reading my private playbook?! 😉 You describe my own experience very, very accurately.

I draw my strength and inspiration from this thread. You are all utterly marvellous - even if you don't always feel like it at the moment.

Bl~~dy hell @WendyWagon - the barn!! Just when you thought it might be alright. The EA sounds like a weasel. Sid offers his services - he is a kind and gentle soul with nothing but love in his heart. But he is willing to administer nippings to order on deserving wrong 'uns. By the time they've seen him it's already too late. I'm keeping everything crossed - I so want this one to work out.

Sid had his check-up at the vets this morning. All going well. He handed over his chocolate biscuits with a very contrite and convincing apology sound (I wasn't deceived, but the vet was). And now we are hitting the highways to holidays. See you down there!

Strength and courage. It will be OK. xx

@REP22 holiday holidays my friend. See you in person in September.
I've been out in the 'mini milk'.

Bon voyage @REP22and Sid . You deserve a special break.

@FiloPastyyou can do this. Get that milestone and then you'll have had a whole year of experiences to tell you that you can still do this.

Really glad to read you're on the Alcohol experiment @MsAmanda. I found it invaluable.

My battle with the cat continues. Lemons, coffee grounds, garlic. The flower beds resemble a Roman fort with little sticks of bamboo poking out all over the place. It's still been on the gravel and I actually think whatever he's being fed is not agreeing with him. Poor thing. But also, yuk. I think Arthur and I will have to camp out and catch him in the act.

@WendyWagon when you get that cottage I shall raise a very special glass of organic milk to you. Keeping everything crossed.

Well lads the barn cottage went to another party.
I had offered more but I didn't get it. Just found out we met their paperwork deadline, they are people of questionable parentage (my mother's favourite saying). My bff said something far worse.
I'm upstairs and away from the booze. Keep me going my friends or I'll be crying into the grog cupboard.
I would have liked to tell the smarmy arse to f*CK off. As he droned on I just laughed. I said I don't think the rental will be coming to you then!

I really hate this group of estate agents. This is the third time they've done this.
I makes me want to do a pretty women when my shares get sold.

I am so sorry @WendyWagon . It doesn’t seem fair. But you have dealt with harder things, and you will deal with this ❤️

I am away on silent retreat this weekend, so will be off my phone from now until Sunday morning. Look after yourselves and see you on Sunday

Why is the estate agent not doing the right thing by their client and getting them more? You can do a real revenge best served cold plan with them - Counte of Monte Cristo style but in a fantastic outfit.

I really am sorry @WendyWagon. The booze is not the answer - it will only make things worse as you said yesterday. Stay in control, and ready to hit them where it hurts when you can.

Morning lads and thank you for the support.
I survived sober!
I thought I'm not getting trollied for that lot of w*nkers. I just had a hunch they'd poop on me. However found out the lady who owns the Manor owns the barn. I shall drop her a note.
I doubt they even put my offer forward. Sharks.

A day in today and I have a neighbour's son coming to help in the garden on Monday.
He's brining his own kit. Hoorah.

Brilliant! I can picture the chaos of Sid being manhandled so well. Poor love. I’ve a cat who is so easily upset that he didn’t blink for the whole two nights he spent at the vet hospital and had to be discharged with eye drops 😬 xx

I'm so sorry @WendyWagon - I'm fuming on your behalf. Dropping a note to the owner sounds like an excellent idea. Hopefully she will rain down high holy hellfire on the weasels' heads. Top stuff for not caving at their expense.

Sorry to hear about your poor kitty @Whosthetabbynow - that must have been very upsetting. Hope he's OK now.

It took Sid and I over SIX hours to get here yesterday (bl~~dy A303 bottlenecks). We stopped at Podimore services halfway for a Sidbreak, but after his emptyings it was so hot that I couldn't/wouldn't leave him in the car even for the few minutes it might take to get a compensatory BK treat for me. But we're here now, and Sid is very happy to be here. He's hitching up his smile, as you can see.

Too hot for the moor at the moment, but we will venture out later. Bit of a sticky moment this morning - I forgot to bring some sliced meat for Sid's tablets (a week to go, though recovery is excellent). I told Sid that we will need to go to the shop for it. "But I is not taking any tablets" his eyes and sounds say. Oh, yes! Right!! Of course he isn't. I think he believed me... 😮‍💨

The cottage where we are boasted a "welcome pack" on arrival. Now, to my mind - correct me if I'm wrong - this should consist of a pint of milk, a small loaf, maybe a mini pot of jam, occasionally some local biscuits or crisps. Our "welcome pack" was a bottle of wine and two glasses. That was it. Sid was nonplussed. It has been dealt with. FFS.

Strength and courage, fair friends. All shall be well. xx

Morning
It's raining here. Very nice it is too.

Sorry about your 'welcome gift' @REP22. It shows just how hard it is to go against the grain. The owners would have genuinely thought they were doing a nice thing and that could have easily been a duck it moment after your horrible drive.

Oh your poor cat @Whosthetabbynow- hope you and he have got over it x

I was marvelling yesterday in the extra time I have now that I'm not spending it boozing. It did unnerve me before but now I am in the habit of filling it with other things (even if yesterday that was binge watching Rivals!) I really wouldn't want to waste my time any more. Sundays used to only last until about 3pm in the 'olden times' . It's actually so much less stressful to have time and space to do things.

If anyone is feeling a bit thumb twiddly this Sunday afternoon; my advice is just do something - make a list of small things (don't force yourself to take up line dancing - yet) you could do. Drive to a new place to explore, make a Victoria sponge, contact old school/ uni friends, make kimchi, read War and Peace, design your garden, be a person that always has ironed clothes (!). Just anything that you've thought of over time that you would like to do but life got in the way. Now's your chance. Do one of those things this afternoon.

Morning all.
I smell rain @Lavrander . The forecast says we'll have some today. We've just had thunder.

Ever hopeful is your Wendy. DD and I are off to view a thatched cottage down in the village today (nice to be offered a Sunday viewing with the owner). It's a bit small but has a huge garden ( sit on mower size). The DH is off to our son's to shovel soil out of his garden.
Our daughter loves this village and perked up when I said parking for four cars. She hates having to park away from the house as someone cracked her numberplate.

I had planned on looking wafty in deep lipstick pink linen.

I managed to avoid any thoughts of drinking away my sorrows by playing it forward.
Accept what we can't change and look forward to what we can.

@REP22 what an awful welcome gift!

@WendyWagon I hope the thatched cottage is a beautiful as it sounds!

Nearly a week in. Its the first time ive stopped when I haven't had noticed physical symptoms (head ache, raised heart rate). Ive been taking wegovy to loose weight the last few months and its supported me to reduce my boozing.

I've found it really interesting the difference wegovy has had on alcohol. Ive wanted it less, and not wanted as much. It's got me thinking about the shame in alcoholism. Somehow its seen as a character flaw, a weakness. Wegovy makes me wonder if its got (at least in part) more to do with different biology.

I've kept drinking as its what I do. Bought the same amounts and just didn't feel the need to drink as much (still a bottle... just not 2 on a friday, and less often so only 2/3 days a week rather than drinking on 6/7).

When ive been successful before its all been about new habits, now routines, a new life without booze. I've got a while left taking this so I'm hoping I can use it to help me build that new life. I went to a boozy meal a couple of weeks ago without drinking - it was easier to drive. Previously I would have made drinking work, but I had as good of a time sober and woke up feeling good.

I've listened to your comments and not basing my sobriety on DH not drinking. But its been so lovely to have him sober. There has been more unpleasantness than I would like to admit when he drank. I've let more go than I should have as it was hard for me to comment given my own drinking.

Onwards and upwards!

Good morning Shipmates.

Well, that escalated. Sid and I almost died yesterday. Of hypothermia. In a heatwave/drought. Our first walk on the moor and a very minor drizzle changed suddenly and without warning to torrential downpour and complete mistfall. Used my few skills and GPS to navigate to a river, followed that to a wall, then a track, then a road back to the car. Soaked and freezing. Finally home about 8.30pm with a hot chocolate and a hobbling dog. God's got a sense of humour, I'll give him that. Another misadventure that we shall, one day, learn to laugh about. The lady in the local Co-op where I procured hot chocolate mix and compensatory meats for Sid was flabbergasted at my soaked, shivering, teeth-chattering appearance.

It actually was very scary. We were 3+ miles out, drenched and unable to see anything beyond a few yards. Terrifying. And the knowledge that no-one is coming to help us. Fortunately I had a compass to point us in the general direction of our starting point or I'm not sure we'd be here now. It's so disorientating and easy to head East when you're certain you're going West. Our hasty retreat without rest has left Sid with a very sore paw, so that might well be it for the rest of the holiday's planned walks. You couldn't make it up. The f~~~ing irony of dying of hypothermia and exposure in a drought was not lost on me - the second thought that occurred to me after "Sh~t, I think we're actually in trouble here." Never mind. All is well. And I think Sid's hobbling might preserve us from further misadventure on the high moors this time. 'Twill be a book beside a river for the next few days, I fear. Bring on the papercuts and impalement on collapsing camping chair...! 😉

Strength and courage brave shipmates. I am thankful to be among you once more. Sid is on light duties today - you might have to powder and load the cannons yourself. Normal service will resume shortly. xx

Oh god @REP22that sounds awful. I'm so glad you're both okay. Really good you had that compass and your navigating skills. A true shipmate!

The cold comes on very quickly! And it looks as if there was just no shelter anywhere. You did well to get back safely ❤

Morning all.

Bit of a family blow up yesterday.

The cottage was tiny. I doubt our bed would go in. Lovely if you're 5'6" max as the owners were.

@REP22 glad you are ok, and our little Sid x

Im still holding on but have been v tempted, husband surprisingly keeping me on the straight and narrow. I think being in the land of wine trickier than I expected :)

On to a nice hotel tomorrow so will try and sign up for all the gym stuff.

Another failure. 😔
I just can't seem to get through a weekend. I had such a good week and then completely let myself down last night. Now I'm sat at my desk at work feeling rubbish and wondering why I keep doing this to myself.
The thing that frustrates me most is that, in every other aspect of my life, I'm the epitome of health and wellbeing. I exercise every day, eat well, look after myself... so why do I keep choosing to pour poison down my neck?
I've read ALL the books (I've just looked on my Kindle and have over 20 sober/sobriety books), listened to countless podcasts, successfully completed Dry Januarys for many years, and got through three pregnancies alcohol-free. So I know I can do it. I just can't seem to make it stick long term, and I honestly don't understand why.
Sorry for being such a Debbie Downer. I just needed to get that off my chest.
I'm thinking of re-reading The Alcohol Experiment, and I might start checking in on this thread every day to keep myself accountable. Are there any recently published books that anyone can recommend?